Edited by Savannah Marie, Calob Horton, mimi30, Inukshuk and 1 other
Questions and Answers
How can I get him to forgive me? He needs space?
I was talking to a friend from Florida and the conversation came off as flirtatious to my boyfriend. It was on Facebook. He said he was upset at me. He needed time to think. I usually see him every weekend and he didn't talk to me for two days. I became depressed and I use to battle depression. So now I feel like death without him. I told my mom and she's watching me carefully. I don't want to lose him. Please help me. I've said I'm sorry over a thousand times.
If you are feeling depressed, please go to http://www.dbsalliance.org/ or call 800-273-TALK (8255).
Firstly, you did nothing wrong. You talked to a friend; your boyfriend needs to understand that you have friends, and that you are free to talk to them whenever you want. Being upset that you were talking to a friend is a sign of controlling behavior. It's just your friends now, but he could end up controlling more of your life as your relationship develops.
A relationship is a mutually beneficial connection between people. As of right now, your boyfriend is making you upset over something that did not harm anyone. What you should do at this point is exit the relationship you have with your boyfriend. Nobody deserves to be this upset for being a friend.
Can I forgive him for what he did?
My boyfriend slept out and I got so angry because I thought he is cheating which I know its true. I broke up with him first but now I realized I still need him in my life. I asked for forgiveness and he said he doesn't want me anymore and the biggest mistake I did is slapping him on the face. Help
From the sound of things, he doesn't have enough respect for you. He had problems, which created a rift in your relationship. He then cheated, because he didn't know how to communicate his real needs and desires to you. That's why he went out with another woman. Not because of you, but because he doesn't know how to communicate. When you slapped him, in his eyes, it was just confirming his belief that you didn't understand him, or weren't able to understand him. Talking to him about this, and offering to listen to him, is the way forward if you want to stay with him.
How can I get my fiancee to forgive me?
I lied to him about what I did at my job only because I didn't want to hurt him more and I'm trying to show him I'm done lying and playing games but he doesn't believe me.
One of the foundations on which a man's self worth is built is respect. He likely feels that you have disrespected him. Since you are central to his life, the loss of this respect will cause lasting harm to him, and can make him feel like he's in a position where he's powerless. Part of the problem, which won't quickly go away, is that he knows you are in the same work environment every day, and so are with other people who will always look at him and possibly know.
Hard as it is, you'll need to decide whether you want to stay with him, and talk to him about whether changing jobs would help him better understand and accept. Let him know your real feelings behind why what happened was able to go on, and show him that you do respect him. Start taking extra time out, and doing small things that you are sure you can always do, to show him your love and affection for him. They can be as little as meeting him at the door when he comes home, and seeing him out each time he leaves.
Don't expect him to immediately forgive or forget though. These things take time, and he will likely go from being upset to being fine from one day to the next as he wrestles with how to deal with this. You could also consider some relationship counseling. It's often hard for a man to go to counseling, so it may be that you have to go alone to get some advice and tips. Maybe he will come later, and maybe not. Also, if you're a member of a church, they often have legally licensed counselors on staff who can provide free assistance to both of you. Their counseling is impartial, and it's focused on building and strengthening your relationship together.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Inukshuk, mimi30, Calob Horton