How to hide your pregnancy until you are ready to deal with it
Edited by Doug Collins
You know it all too well now. You should have listened to your parent's advice not to have sex before marriage. You were sixteen and curious about sex. One night you and your boyfriend go over to his house, and his parents won't be home till the next morning. He has the lights down low. He has lit candles. One minute your sitting on the couch watching a movie, and one thing leads to another and the next thing you know you are having sex. The next morning you wake up in his bedroom with stuff everywhere. You collect your things and go home. You weren't ready. You weren't prepared. A few weeks later, you breasts are tender, maybe you're a bit nauseous, and your period is late, so you buy a pregnancy test from the drug store. You take the pregnancy test and snap, just like, your entire world changes - you're pregnant!
You don't want to tell him, or your parents, because they'll start asking questions you aren't ready to answer, and making comments you don't want to hear.
- How did this happen? (You're parents already know the answer to this question.)
- Didn't you use protection? (Maybe you did, maybe you didn't – accidents happen.)
- We warned you. We told you again and again. (You already know this.)
- Can't you do anything right? (This question requires no reply.)
- Are you sure you're pregnant? (Uh huh.)
- I don't understand – it was just once. (That's all it takes.)
- Is the baby mine? (Yes)
- Are you sure? (Again, yes.)
- I want a DNA test done when the baby is born!
You don't want to tell your parents because they'll get mad. Perhaps you're worried they'll kick you out of the house. You want to tell your best friend in the world, but your best friend has a big mouth and won't keep your secret. What are you going to do?
Some Suggestions On Keeping Your Secret For Awhile
- 1When your mom hears you throwing up every morning say it was something you had with breakfast.Advertisement
- 2When people notice the bump in your stomach, tell them it's not real, or you're bloated from cramps.Advertisement
- 3Soon you will have to buy maternity clothes.Your regular clothes won't fit anymore.
- 4Go to the doctor alone.Make sure that you don't go to your regular doctor, who probably knows your parents.
- 5Always have water and gum in your bag and/or purse, and keep gum in your car at all times
- 6Always wear slippers at home cause your feet are going to get big
- 7When you're finally ready to tell everyone; start with your parents.
- Sit your parents down, take a deep breath, and tell them you're pregnant.
- Tell the father of the baby.
- Tell your best friend you're pregnant.
- 8You might be tempted to lie and tell your parent's you used a condom but don't.Just be honest with everyone and face the music.
- 9Tell the father that it is his baby and see if he is willing to marry you.If he will marry you, and you think he will be a good father, get married right away with a small ceremony inviting only close friends and family.
- 10If your parents want to throw you a big wedding don't argue.It will work out fine. Go along with it because then everyone will feel everything is legit after a big wedding. Most people have short memories. Many people are forgiving because they had sex before marriage and just didn't become pregnant.
The Devil's Advocate
On the other hand, hiding a pregnancy can be dangerous. There are other ways to deal with this scary situation. It is scary – especially if you're very young. You do need to tell someone. Keeping a secret like this is unhealthy for you, making it unhealthy for the baby. People are a lot more understanding than you think, and may just surprise you. Most parents show their true and wonderful colours when you need them most. Allow them to help.
Getting married because you're pregnant, isn't an ideal way to start a life together. You don't want to be with someone because they feel obligated. Also…one big thing at a time. It might be best to focus on the baby, and growing this beautiful life inside you, rather than worrying about planning any kind of wedding. In your heart, and the eyes of your God, it doesn't change things much if you get married after you've become pregnant. If people want to talk – let them talk. At least you're giving them some entertainment in their otherwise boring lives.
Some reasons hiding a pregnancy is not a good idea:
- 1First Doctor's Appointment at Six Weeks.If you're young, and can't see a doctor without a parent, you'll not be getting the proper care for you or your baby.
- 2Believe in Your Parents.Your parents can handle more than you think. Don't assume the worst, hope for the best from them.
- 3And If You're Hospitalized?If something goes wrong with the pregnancy, and you aren't able to communicate with medical personal, you might be endangering your life, and the life of your baby if they don't know you're pregnant, and can't figure out what's wrong with you.
- 4You need to talk to someone.A clinic, a friend who won't tell everyone, an aunt, a guidance counselor – anyone. This is a big deal, and you really shouldn't deal with it alone.
- 5A Father's Rights.The father of your baby has rights too. He should know what's going on. Give him the opportunity to accompany you to doctor's appointments, be there when you have the first ultrasound, etc. A young man who's engaged in the pregnancy from the beginning, will be more invested during the pregnancy, and be a better father when the baby's born.Advertisement
- Good luck and comment below if you have any questions about pregnancy, or preventing it.
- You will be really tired, especially in the second trimester, so get as much sleep as you can.
- Go baby shopping by yourself to keep it a secret until you are ready to tell everyone. Hide all the baby things where your parents never look.
- The above activity won't ever be as much fun as going with your Mom, or your best friend, or even the baby's father.
- If money is an issue, find out the gender of the baby so you know what to shop for.
- Many women won't tell anyone but those closest to them about the pregnancy, until they get to three months. This is because if you are going to miscarry, it's most likely going to happen before you reach the end of your third month. For others, it's twelve weeks. This isn't because women are hiding their pregnancy; just they would rather not have to deal with everyone's comments, if they do lose the baby.
- The Kid's Help Phone has wonderful RESOURCES FOR PREGNANT TEENS.
Questions and Answers
Want to hide my Pregnancy until I'm four months pregnant.
Is it possible to hide pregnancy for four months?
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- If you have problems with any of these steps, ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.
Categories : Family