Help Family Members in Recovering from Death of a Loved One

Edited by Christian, Charmed, Monika, Anonymous and 2 others

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"Death" a word that brings fear and sadness, fear for those who love their earthly life so much and sadness for those who experienced losing their loved one. It always brings tears and loneliness especially if he is your best friend, cousin and a member of your family. Like a thief, without expecting it will come to steal someone's life and face the final resting place. Only premonitions make us realize that they want to tell us something, their last goodbye trying to say that they will leave us. Sometimes I asked myself if the day before my final hours here on earth came, can I say sorry for those I hurt or go to confession to ask for forgiveness for all my sins here on earth? Maybe yes or maybe no, who knows? Only God knows and no one except Him. July 18, 2012, a new memorable date was added into my life, I lost my mother. We never expect that she will leave us on that day. I was far from them because of my job, I called her and while talking on the phone I never feel anything strange. When I received my brother's text message I can't explain how I feel about the news of her death. A bomb in my heart explodes, I was drowning in tears that I never cried before. While on my way home I prepared myself because I know it was not easy for all of us to accept the sudden death of my mother. My father and my brothers are waiting for me, we are all in grief sobering for that unexpected moment. In this hard time when every member of the family is in deep trial I learned important lessons and strategies for a fast recovery of each family member who are in deep sadness. Since I am the eldest, I need to comfort my father, my brothers and sister even we feel the same air of sadness and tears are hard to stop from falling.

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Things to consider

  1. 1
    Pray and ask for guidance and strength.
    We must deny ourselves every time, humbly pray for guidance from the Lord to strengthen you and your family. Help you to understand that all things happen for a greater purpose. Prayer is very powerful, a way of communication to our Lord where we can say all we wanted to tell him. I turn to him first and ask for enlightenment and help my family understand His will. While on my way home, I saw an adoration chapel, I stopped and prayed asking the intercession of the blessed Virgin Mary to take care my mother's soul. We are just human, finite and weak. Just like a little child that need a hand to stand up when he fall, and that hand is our Lord's hand. He will help us until we can walk again, put medicine on the wound to heal easily. Share these thoughts to your family and help them understand the greater purpose that God wants us to understand and you need to pray hard. Keep on praying even you want to give up, remember that you are praying not only for yourself but for others too. We need a great source of strength in times like this and all we need to do is to pray.
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  2. 2
    Let them entertained by their friends.
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    During this hard time all they need is someone who will hear about all the things they wanted to say. You have to listen to them, let them speak or cry, it will lighten the heavy feelings. Encourage some of their friends to chat but avoid drinking. My father has a lot of friends that keep on talking to him, they have a good sense of humor that help my father smile even on their simple jokes. Remember that you cannot do this alone you need help from their friends because they knows them better, they know how making them laugh and even how to stop them from crying. Let us face the truth that their friends is their comfort zone.
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  3. 3
    It is not easy not say the word "accept" on someone who lost his beloved, it takes a lot of time before we accept everything. Detachment and trusting God's will help you understand that this life is not ours, we have it now but we will surrender this borrowed life to the Creator. "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing"(Ecclesiastes 3:1-22). We all know that we will return to the one who created us ready or not, we must keep our faith that in God's time we will meet our loved ones because we know this life is temporary and we need to be detached.
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  4. 4
    Take a vacation.
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    Vacation or a visit to a relative will help a lot to lighten the situation your family is facing. The purpose of these is to escape the loneliness of your home in losing a family member. A month away from home will help in mending. When my mother died my father used to talk about the scent he always smell, fragrance that he never forgets, the perfume of my mother. He will start to cry when he smells that scent that I never smell. I have begun to worry about that situation and I suggest my father to come with me to my apartment far from home. I ask him a couple of weeks after he came with me if he smell the scent of my mother and he answered me no. His face is also far from the look when he is still at home. No bad dreams about my mother and he can sleep well. New friends and new environment also play a major role in my father's recovery. After a month he asks me to back to our house and I am thankful that everything goes to normal again.
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Recovering from losing a loved one is same as recovering from a disease or illness. Medicine, therapy and regular monitoring or check-up is needed for a fast restoration of health of the patient. Medication will take a long time for healing if there is no acting nurse or doctor in the family to start vaccination for fast recovery of each family member.

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Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Eng, Anonymous, Monika

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