Handle being in two relationships

Edited by Ephraim, Charmed, Eng, Clownz and 20 others

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This article will discuss how to handle two relationships at the same time. Even though this is usually considered cheating, sometimes people fall in love with two people at the same time. This doesn't necessarily mean they are sexually involved with both people, but they are carrying on a relationship or love for both people. Traditionally, people believe you can only love one person at a time, but if you could love two people at different times in your life, there exists the possibility of loving two people at the same time. It is not usually a choice someone makes, but something that just happens, often a big surprise to all parties involved. There will be hard decisions to be made, and it won't be easy for anyone.

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To balance or even eliminate one person to have a single relationship.

  1. 1
    Focus on one person at a time when you find yourself in two relationships at the same time
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    This doesn't mean that you need to focus on them entirely, all the time, but give the one you're with at the moment, your entire attention. Unless you plan to live your whole life with two partners, and they agree with the situation, something's got to give. There has to be a time when you figure out which person you want to be with. You have to decide who is nicer, who is the best match for you, who you are most in love with. Focusing on the one you're with will help you make this decision. Balancing two people at the same time is no easy task.
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  2. 2
    Spend time together
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    Whichever one you are with, use that time to learn all you can about them. Find out how compatible you are, what things you have in common, and perhaps what things you don't like about them. Obviously, it would be nearly impossible to be objective about either, when all three of you are together. Seeing them separately will give you some needed perspective.
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  3. 3
    When the other person is in Limbo because you are spending time with the other, keep in touch
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    If you choose one lover over the other, you can try to maintain a friendship with the other but let that friendship jeopardize the relationship you've chosen. Some people would suggest you keep the person you didn't choose, close enough that if you change your mind, they are still available. If you've been honest with both lovers during this process, it's also important to let the 'chosen one' know you are no longer sexually or emotionally involved with the other.
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  4. 4
    You'll have to decide how important the person is you've chosen, and how important the one is you've put on the sideline
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    By having time away from this person you will be able to decide whether you actually love this person. Know the difference between love and lust. Consider how this person makes you feel about yourself. Distance allows for a great deal of perspective.
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  5. 5
    Distancing yourself from one lover, and allowing yourself to miss them, will give you a better understanding of how easily it is to live without them, or how you cannot live without them
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    You'll know if it's just a crush, or if it's the real thing. This may be a tough decision that only you can make, but make it you must, and if you don't make it quickly, one or both may leave you for greener pastures. Trust your instincts. Make a list for both lovers: good things AND not so good things, but make a decision soon.
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  6. 6
    Put it on paper
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    Make a list for each lover with pros and cons. Often it's easier to see when it's in print. Then, perhaps, you'll know who to put on the 'to do' list. Be honest and fair when you're making your lists. If you start to favor one over the other while in the midst of this process, perhaps you've already answered the big question. After you've completed the lists, compare them. Is there one lover who stands out from the other? Which things are most important to you? Making the lists may not give you a definite answer to which one is best for you, but it will certainly give you some needed perspective. Only your heart knows which one you love the most. You might also want to consider that you might not love either in the way you should, which is why choosing is so difficult. It's a big decision to make, as it might mean a lifetime with one person or the other.
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  7. 7
    Trust your feelings
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    It is you, and only you who can make this decision. The last thing you want to do is to choose one of them for all the wrong reasons such as finances, or their appearance, or popularity. This is a decision of the heart...follow it. There will be consequences regarding your decision. One person will be hurt. You might still be unsure making any relationship difficult. If your indecision is based on both lovers being unsatisfactory, then the best thing you can do is walk away from both. As weird and crazy as this situation is, your own emotional health is important, as well as theirs.
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  8. 8
    Instincts are trustworthy
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    Only you can control the outcome of this situation, and it's important to be in touch with how you feel, over what you think. What does you're your heart tell you? However you get to a decision, you need to trust your instincts in making it. Hopefully, you will choose correctly and have a wonderful relationship.
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  9. 9
    Love is universal but strange
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    When you are in a relationship with two lovers, you will no doubt hear from close friends and family that you cannot love more than one person like this. You know differently because here you are - in love with two people at the same time. It seems humans do have the ability to love two at the same time, although it doesn't make it any easier. Don't make any decisions because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings, or disappoint them. It may be that after you make a decision, you find you cannot completely let go of the other. It's fine to keep this person as your friend, but you are risking the relationship you've chosen.
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Questions and Answers

Why do most people think it's cheating to have two girlfriends at one time if you are not engaged or something?

Because it's obvious that you deceived them. One lover should be enough to make you happy. We are created by God with only one heart, so we should choose the right one. It would be considered unfaithful to both of them if you love them both at the same time. It would be nearly impossible to give them equal love and attention. The time will come that you will hurt not just one, but both of them. You will definitely break their hearts and lose their trust in you. Being in a relationship is not just playing a game. Girls are not toys that you can just toss aside if you find someone new.

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This is called cheating because by calling both ladies girlfriend, you are committing yourself to that person in a relationship, with expectations, or hopes to move forward to engagement and marriage. When you have two women at the same time, there is no way to committing yourself to just one.

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How to handle two relationships at the same time if they both know each other?

Being in two relationships at the same time where the other parties do not know each other is difficult enough. Can you imagine how much harder it is to deal with two lovers who do know each other? If your cards are on the table, and they know about each other, your decision will be difficult on their friendship. If you haven't been honest and you do choose one of them, have a meeting with you two lovers, and reveal everything, including your decision. Don't expect this to go well, as it probably won't, and you may lose both lovers, their trust, and their friendship, as well as jeopardize the friendship they have with each other. Everyone loses. You might instead take the high road, and let go of both of them, hoping for at least friendships all around. tell-all revelation. However, it will be better if you give up both, so there will not be any further conflict between the two, especially if they are friends. You can save the friendship they have by letting go of both.

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Is it possible to love two girlfriends at the same time with equal love?

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This is like asking if it's possible to serve two masters at the same time. In reality, in this situation, you would likely end up serving one more than the other. Yes, while it may be possible to love two or several people at the same time, you will not be able to love them to exactly the same degree. It's not physically, mentally, and emotionally feasible to love two girlfriends at the same time, in the same way. Empirical studies in Psychology do show that individuals are able to love and be attached to, or even have sex with many people at the same time. In the social realm, most couples believe that interactions based on friendship are non-exclusive and can be openly pursued with multiple individuals. But, sex and emotional intimacy should be considered exclusive. Further, it states that although exclusivity is highly important in a committed romantic relationship, it is said to render limited value to the intellectual and social aspects of being human which should not stop one from developing close relationships with other people, while enjoying an enriching romantic relationship with a beloved.

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Loving two girlfriends at the same time with equal intensity, contradicts what is logical because of these underlying reasons:

  • When someone seeks another partner apart from his/her existing relationship, it suggests there is a sense he/she feels unfulfilled and looking for something else. There may be a false belief that he/she is in love with both, when in reality, it takes the two lovers to feel satisfied, meaning neither are right for him/her/, for neither supplies all that is required in the relationship.
  • There is also a good chance, if the relationships started at two different times in his/her life, that one relationship has the benefits of being settled, safe and comfortable, yet perhaps too comfortable and predictable, and the other is new, exciting and passionate, and yet unknown and unproven. It's like comparing apples and oranges.
  • Further, a man usually chooses two entirely different women with varying characteristics or personalities that also merit different levels of attention and commitment.
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It is wise to note that although some men tend to be involved in polygamous or polyamorous relationships, they still remain to be very conservative and jealous of their partners and might even want their girlfriends to be exclusively theirs. He may be unable, or unwilling to allow his partner the same sexual freedom he enjoys, but these are contracts and agreements made in that situation, and are too complicated to go into here, although there is something to say about honesty.

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It is possible to love two (2) girlfriends at the same time, but it is "NOT" possible to love two girlfriends at the same time with equal love. Yes, you can love two girlfriends, but you must choose the one who you really love. If you have two girlfriends, it also means that you are cheating and it doesn't mean you are cheating with one person only, you are also cheating your two girlfriends and you also cheat yourself. So as soon as possible, you must choose. Remember that there is only one heart, so you must choose one person who will take good care of it.

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What happens if your lovers find out about each other. Is it possible to save both relationships or should I just try for one?

If this happens, it means you are not capable of having two relationships at one time successfully. It would be best if you were to just choose one person to be with full time, if they still want you. Having two girlfriends at the same time is a delicate balance, and not many people can manage it. Take heart, it's not exactly the kind of attribute you should be proud of.

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Cheating and has two relationships at the same time and they both know each other?

This appears to be a very unhealthy situation, and it makes sense if you make the decision to get out of this ASAP. Everyone suffers in this dishonest confusion, including you.

Keep in mind that cheating is not something that should be tolerated. A good relationship requires honesty and faithfulness and cheating totally violates these two important things.

How can I deal with relationships?

I just found myself in one and I am kind of confused

There's no set answer. Don't be verbally or physically abusive, and try your best to be a supporting influence in your partner's life. And always work at keeping fun in the relationship.

I have 2 woman in relationship?

I have two relationships with women..there is one where we have been dating for 5 years.and the other one is 26 months. I love both of them..they are nice and they show to me that they are truly in love with me. How can I choose one them? Why did you decide to start the second relationship? Determining that will help you decide who to be with. Obviously, the longer relationship has more history but the second relationship was started on dishonesty. Even if she knew about the first woman, this relationship was still dishonest. You need to figure out who you see a future with and make a complete commitment to them.

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I am stuck in two relationships, how to come out from it?

I was previously in a relationship and then it became a long distance relationship. In the meantime, I came close to another guy.

You are not stuck because you have a choice. If you feel that being in the long distance relationship was too lonely then move to where the other guy lives and start a life with him. Otherwise, if you feel comfortable with the local guy and happy then end it with the long distance guy. What you did is not new. It happens in long distance relationships all the time. It is not fair to keep either one of them stringing along. You also can't really move forward properly in a relationship until you make a decision. If the long distance relationship has no promise of a future then you should end it anyway.

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I'm in a weird relationship with one girl but I love another?

I'm going to the dance with this girl but I think I rushed into the relationship too quick because as we talk we don't even feel comfortable talking, as this happens I'm talking with this other girl, she's pretty cute and we became very comfortable with each other as time passes I find out she likes me and I do too, but the girl in the beginning is still there not knowing I'm not interested. I have tried: I haven't tried much, I've told the girl I like about the girl I'm going to the dance with but that is like all. I think it was caused by: I think since I rushed into a relationship too quick I messed up

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You made a commitment to take the first girl to the dance. The right thing to do would be to honor that. If you are feeling conflicted then let the girl know that you do not want to be in a relationship with her but will still take her to the dance if she wishes. Give her the option to decide. As for the other girl, if you both like each other then you can wait until after the dance to begin dating. If she really likes you then she will wait it out.

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Do I keep lying to 2 men? I want to leave one of them?

I currently live with my ex husband. He thinks we are dating and I do not. I have met another man. I was not honest with him and he does not know I live with my ex husband. I think I am in too deep. Do I move out? I don't know what to do! HELP!. I have tried: Nothing. I'm scared that the one I want to be with will not want to be with me. I think it was caused by: I have been lying the whole time. I thought I would be just a hook up

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You are correct in thinking that you are in way too deep. Since you have no true desire to be back with your ex husband, it is time to move out and cut ties. Regardless of if there is anyone else or not. All you are doing now is playing with your ex husband's emotions and that is not fair to him. Moving out will be scary and you do risk being alone for awhile but at least this gives you a chance to be in a healthy relationship.

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Is it possible to carry on two relationship?

I am already married (5 years and I have a son) but now I feel in love with another person, he is unmarried. He is older than me by 16 years, but my husband is not too bad, but I am not happy with my husband, now what do I do? I have tried: No.. nothing... I have not tried anything. I feel happy in my second love. I couldn't understand my hubby. He also loves me, carrying me but we have a big distance. He also older by 14 years. I think it was caused by: My hubby behave. He's in trouble with me for anything, my work, me eating, me working, me walking, my everything he wants to be changed. I think he has a mental problem or nerve problem

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Before you make any decision, you should request marriage counseling. You are feeling trapped and monitored which can happen in a marriage and sometimes marriage counseling can improve communication to resolve these issues. You have a child which means that your husband will always be in your life. Also, a divorce will cause significant changes to your life and your child's life. Does this other man know that you are married? If he does, this speaks volumes about his moral character. Be very careful because usually affairs in a marriage never result in a forever relationship. Right now all this guy really is to you is an escape from your daily life and marriage. Once you start living your own life with him you may find that you are still unhappy. If your husband refuses counseling then perhaps you should consider personal counseling to make sure you are making the right decision to leave the marriage. Marriage is not easy. There are ups and downs but it is how these tribulations are resolved that makes a stronger marriage.

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Two friends with benefits? Is it as bad as having 2 girlfriends?

One is black the other Hispanic (Honduras)

There is nothing wrong with having two girlfriends if you have not made a commitment to either one of them. You should be honest with them though and let them know that for now, you are just dating with no promise of a future. The minute you begin to feel stronger feelings for one of the girls then you should end the other relationship. Neither of these girlfriends have a chance to grow a relationship with you right now.

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About having 2 girlfriends at the same time?I need help both of them love me a lot and I too .. but I would die if anyone of these two will know about any other one?

Recently from last 6 months before that I was completely single & wasn't involved in a serious relationship in my past but after that suddenly one girl came and I also wanted to get my crush as my girlfriend but I felt that she 'll refuse me so I keep in touch with another girl she also had a boyfriend previously but he left her after some time but her talks and nature attracted me now I fall in love with this one too but not that much as my crush after some time I proposed my crush and then she refused but wanted to take some time so I gave her time to think about me and then I proposed also the second one she also accepted me instantly but then the first one also agreed me I explained second one anyhow and was in relationship with first one but after some time I also fall in love once again and I can't deny my love to second girl also now I'm trapped both are very strangers for each other but I don't want to play with them both and also I don't want to left without anyone please suggest what should I do I can't say about anyone also to any of my girlfriend I'm trapped but I usually meet in live with the first one but I also love the second one whom I never meet but loves a lot too what should I do help me please..

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Drop the second girl in your scenario. You stated that you never spend any time with her and your "love" is just a fantasy and fail safe comfort zone with her. The first girl has always been your focus and the one that you should see a future with. She also appears to take the relationship seriously and made sure that she wanted to marry you before she committed. This is the right person for you. Before you make a final decision, do not do this based on the fact that you do not want to be alone. You are embarking on the decision to spend the rest of your life with another person. If your crush, the first girl, is not in the picture when you think of a future then do not choose either one. Also, the second girl was in a relationship with someone else when you met her. This means that you can never really trust if she is not doing the same thing with another guy while in a relationship with you.

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Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Alma, Jenish Gandhi, Ayanti das

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