Get to Know Your Parents Better
Edited by Debbie, Charmed, Innocent Yogo, Eng
Jessica and her parents are having a dinner with friends. One of the adults says to her that she saw a man by the name of Richard that her mother use to date in high school. Jessica has a shocked look on her face, and tells her that she never knew that before! Have you heard something about your parents that surprised you too? You may wonder what else you don't know about them! Why does this happen? One reason can be you feel distant from one parent because they divorced, and haven't really gotten to spend a lot of time to get to know them. Sometimes parents don't tell their children everything about them because they might feel embarrassed about things they have done in the past. They may be afraid of what you will think of them. And another reason might be just because the subject never came up.
A young man by the name of Cameron said that it is amazing how he lived with his parents for years, and he still has so much more he wants to learn about them. Why not take the upper hand and draw them out? Think about 4 benefits you might gain from doing it:
1. Your parents will probably appreciate your interest.
They will be pleased that you care enough about them to ask about their life. They may even respond with greater compassion for you and your feelings.
2. You'll gain insight into your parents point of view
Did your parents not have much materially in the past? This might explain why they are as thrifty as they are now, even if that seems non essential to you now. Such insight into your parents thinking can be a help. By learning how your parents think, you can consider how your words will affect them before you speak.
3. You may become more comfortable talking about your own life.
Bridgette admitted she felt very uneasy talking to her Father about a boy that she liked. But when she did start to talk to him about it, he told her about the first time he fell in love, and what a great feeling that was. He also mentioned the day he broke up with her, and how bad he felt. That made Bridgette want to talk with her Dad more, because he opened up his feelings to her.
4. You Might Learn Something.
The experiences of your Mom and Dad can help you to deal with your own frustrations and obstacles in life. Joshua, a 16 year old, said that he wanted to know how his parents manage to care for a large family with many different kinds of emotional and physical needs. He said there must be some important lessons to learn. If you would like to get to know your parents better, how can you do so?
Steps To Take
1. Choose the Right Setting
The setting doesn't always have to be formal. Go for casual conversations, like when playing sports together, working on a project, or taking a walk. One boy said he had good conversations when he went on road trips with his Mom and Dad.
2. Ask questions.
Let's face it, your parents probably won't just come right out and tell you the time they wrecked the family car, or who their first crush was, but they may tell you if you ask. What are some things you can question them about?
- Marriage. How did you and mom meet?
- Childhood. Where were you born?
- Education. What was your best subject in school?
- Secular Work. What was your first job?
- Interests. What hobby or skill do you like?
- Spiritual History. Were you raised as a Christian?
- Values. What are the most important factors in a friendship to you?
FUN TIP: Ask your parents to show you pictures or other items from their past.
3. Be Flexible
A lot of times the answer to one question will lead to some story or topic. You might be tempted to get the conversation back on track, but stay away from that urge! Remember, your goal isn't just to gather facts, but to have a closer bond with your parents.
4. Be Discerning.
You need to be understanding when talking to your parents about sensitive topics. Maybe you are curious if your dad made serious mistakes when he was younger, and how he would handle it differently if he had to do it over again. You could ask him first if he minds if you ask him a certain question.
5. Be Tactful.
When your parents tell you something about themselves, don't make fun of them or insult them. They may feel embarrassed and not want to talk much further.
If you use the suggestions we just went over, you will have success in getting to know your parents much better. Remember, if you move away from home one day, that shouldn't stop you from asking questions and being close with your parents.
- If you have problems with any of these steps, ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.
Categories : Family
Recent edits by: Innocent Yogo, Charmed, Debbie