Get over someone you love
Edited by Ryan, Lynn, Charmed, Robbi and 7 others
Losing someone so dear to you makes you feel that it is the end of your world. Break up, separation, and divorce can create a big impact to our life. For a lot of woman, one of the most challenging situation that they need to face is separation from their love ones and coping up. I have a lot of female friends. I witnessed all their sorrow, pain, bitterness, and regrets to their failed relationship. I serve as their personalize Sponge Bob. A never ending cycle of cry-denial-cry-regret-cry-bitterness is what I always see on the separated people or perhaps just for one person. The other person might be joyful and relieve for the relationship the ended especially if there is a third party involve.
How can I start this? Let me first define my title How to Get Over Someone you Love. Get over means moving on, passing the phase of regrets, pain, denials and bitterness. Someone you love refers to your boyfriend/girlfriend, partner, partner or spouse. This people are your support. They are the reason why you live happily, why you are strong, why you face a day of sorrow with a smile on your face, they are your support. But what will happen if your relationship will end?It seems like everything break down into pieces. What will you do to pick up those broken pieces of yourself?
Enough of this drama. This article will help you on how to get over someone you loved. There is no short cut or easy way to do this. But if you are willing to undergo the process on moving on then you will find yourself ready to face a new beginning. Open your mind on the possibility that some can recover immediately and some are not lucky to move on fast because they are not open to change. Remember that change is the only constant in this world.
- 1 How get over someone you loved
- 2 If you have access with your ex's account then just forget it if you can't then ask that person to change his/her password for the benefit of both of you.
- 3 The Secrets to Moving On from a Broken Heart
- 4 Questions and Answers
- 5 Comments
How get over someone you loved
- 1Cry out loud.Crying is one of the best way to burst out your pain. You can yell on your wall or scream on your pillow. This is the first and ultimate stage that you are ready to begin to think of what you need to do next. You need to accept the fact that crying is the first level from a disastrous event in your life.Don't feel bad because crying doesn't mean that you are defeated or the loser, that simply means that you are human.Advertisement
- 2Talk with your friends.A friends duty is to be a crying shoulder when everything turns out awful. You need to air out your feelings with people who will understand you. They are the people who will not hesitate to listen to your sorrow. But be mindful that your friends also have their own life. They will run after you even in the middle of the night when you need them but don't do it like a habit. You don't want to cause trouble to your friends family and relationship.Advertisement
- 3Create a Journal.This is one way to express your feelings, to revel your deepest secret, to say the words you never had a chance to utter. This is recommendable especially if there is no one available to sit down and talk to you. This will definitely help you to lighten your feelings.
- 4Spoil yourself a little.You need to have an outlet. Go on and buy the things that you are eyeing for months. Buy yourself a tub of ice cream or box of chocolates and finish it in one night. Indulge yourself with things that can lift your spirit. But be cautious,don't spoil yourself too much. Don't spend to the extend that you will be in debt because of mismanagement of your expenses. Don't make an unhealthy eating a habit. You will definitely regret if you will gain more pounds with an empty pocket. It will only makes you more miserable so just be moderate.
- 5Don't turn pain into anger.this is something that you should remember. Sometimes when we are badly hurt, we use anger as a camouflage. It's alright if you feel angry but it will make more vulnerable. Think about this, if you will continue to bad mouth about your ex and rewinding how he/she wrong you then it will not help you to move forward. It will only stuck you in this phase of recovery. How can you move on if your story starts and end with the topic about your ex love?
- 7Numbness.This is the result of pure exhaustion. High energy emotion like crying is physically and mentally draining. After you are done with those cycle of emotions you will feel tired and no room to feel anything. So don't panic and let yourself to feel numb.
- 8Time frame.Set a time frame to your grief. It is natural to grief if you loss someone. You need to pass through the stage of sadness, but there will come a time that you will push yourself forward. You know if you are taking so long to grief, so help yourself out. Set a time to get it done and move on.
- 9No communication.This simply means that you will not text your ex, call or email him r her. Besides what's the point? Stop creating a scene where you play that you just "accidentally bump in" with your ex in a place where he/she hang out. You know exactly how to avoid it if you really want.. If you really want to move on, create a distance between you and your ex otherwise you will have a hard time to pick up yourself because you are too busy thinking of your past relationship. In a case where your ex love is your classmate or work mate, just be casual and don't get close if not necessary.
- 10No more Cyber Stalking.You definitely know what I mean. Don't check your ex on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or any social media account. Why do you need to spy on others lives to see how happy your ex now that you're gone or to see how miserable he/she is? It won't help you. Unfriend and/or unfollow your ex. If your account is flooded with your ex status or whereabouts it might just tempt you to check on him/her. That is pathetic.
If you have access with your ex's account then just forget it if you can't then ask that person to change his/her password for the benefit of both of you.
- 1No more Physical and Emotional Intimacy.This is plane and simple. Do not sleep or make physical contact with your ex love just because you have a "past".Let's make it clear that it is even worse on the part of the woman. Why? Female hormones produce oxytocin that triggers the feeling of affection and connection. In the end, you will be trap in this feeling of attachment that once you build with your ex. That is a bad idea if you really want to go on with your life. So how about emotional intimacy/ You break up with your ex, cry, move on, stay as friend and treat each other nicely up to the point that you still acting like you are still together even if you are already separated. Sounds so complicated? It is definitely complicated if you still high light your emotional intimacy with your ex. How can you start a new life if you stay with your old feelings and routine?Advertisement
- 2Prepare a big box.no matter how you build the wall from your ex from cutting your communication up to deleting him/her in your friends list if you still have all the things that will remind him/her of you,chances are you will end like a never ending movie rewinder. You need to collect all the things that will remind you of your past. Keep it out from your eyes or you may give it back to your ex especially if it is a personal stuff. Don't imitate what you see on movie like throwing it in the trash can or setting a fire to burn it. Once it is burn out or already pick up by the waste management it means that it is gone forever. You wouldn't want to throw the expensive things that you bought with him especially you pay for it right?
- 3New Friends.You need to meet new people. No mater how difficult it is, just think that a new friends can be a new love interest. This will makes you realize that there's a lot of fish in the ocean that you can choose. Be open that someone can actually appreciate and love you. I'm not saying to throw out your old good friends but new friends is like a new scenery. They will not remind you of your past.
- 4Love yourself.You are the best and only person who knows how to love yourself. You know that it is worthy loving you because nobody knows you better other than yourself. Now that you are single, go and catch up with all the things that you miss to do when you were still in a relationship. If you want to learn a new skill, enroll yourself and do your best. Don't put all the blame on you. Again nothing is permanent in this world, only change. So don't make yourself feel that it's your fault why he/she left you ad you are not worthy of their love.Just accept the fact that there are things that are not meant to be.
- 5Take Care of yourself.Even if you are down and can't even move normally you still need to look after your health.When you are heart broken sleeping could be very difficult. You may wake up in the middle of the night when everybody is sound asleep and that's the loneliest part of it. The best thing that you should do is to keep your body busy in the morning by exercising. Jog or take a very long walk. You can go to a gym and start to work out and burn all the calories you intake because of eating too much sweets. After doing those physical activity, your body will feel tired and will naturally makes you fall to sleep. Exercising is also a good way to to cure depression..
- 6Make-over.I heard this a lot from my female friends and whenever I hear this I know that they are referring with going to the salon. Admit it or not, when our partner left us, especially for the women, they think that they become ugly and undesirable to their love ones which is an extra factor why their relationship ended. Get a new hair cut. buy a new dress. Reinvent yourself. This will definitely bring back the confidence that actually knocks down when you separated from your love one.
- 7Hold on tight.Be very strong to endure the pain and loneliness. Your pain will heal on time. Hold your head up high. Always remind your self that life will never stop just because both of you decided to stop your relationship.Moving on will not happen over night so be patient to yourself and be brave.
The Secrets to Moving On from a Broken Heart
Being in love is truly one of the happiest and uplifting feelings one could ever experience. However, when the subject of that love does not love you back, that supposedly happy and uplifting feeling becomes a stab in your heart. Unfortunately, it is not that easy to get over someone you have already given your heart to. Whether that someone you love just broke up with you or that someone never loved you at all, nobody would want to go through that experience.
Moving on and getting over your love interest may seem like a very impossible mission to accomplish, but there will always be light at the end of this tunnel. Different people may have different ways and approaches in dealing with and healing their broken heart,s but, in one way or another, these tips could make things work.
- 1Give yourself time to grieve.For most people, denial becomes the immediate response. However, denying the reality will never make things better. The pain will not dissipate if you deny it. Cry if you want to cry. Scream if it will make you feel better. Feel the pain. Acknowledging the pain is the first step to recovery. Do not let anyone rush you into feeling better. Take your time and you may even be surprised and be in a better disposition sooner than you expected. Different people have different styles and mechanisms for releasing their emotions. For some people, it would be good to talk to a close and trusted friend. For some, physical release may be more of a relief, so if that is the case, you better get yourself a punching bag. Still others may feel better after crying alone or writing down what they feel. Whatever mode of release works for you, do it.Advertisement
- 2Cut off communication with the person involved.It is normal, natural and common to be tempted to continue communicating with your love interest, with the silent hope that things will fall into place at a better timing. However, this will not help you move on. You have to accept the fact that you cannot be friends with him or her, at least, while you have not yet fully moved on. Distancing yourself from someone you still love will truly be painful, but this a sacrifice worth being made. The longer you communicate with your love interest, the more difficult it will be for you to move on and get over him or her. You are simply prolonging the agony.
- 3Make yourself busy.Keeping your mind and attention occupied with a lot of other things could do wonders in helping you move on. This will also distract you from wallowing into misery, guilt and self-blame. As you focus your concentration, time and attention on other worthwhile things such as hobbies and work, you will start realizing that there is more to life than the pain of not being loved in return. Get yourself involved in constructive and positive engagements and activities. These involvements could also be your much-needed morale booster.
- 4Spend time with family and friends.Coming to terms with the fact that the one you love does not love you back will surely dampen your self-worth. Counter it by surrounding yourself with people who can make you feel loved and appreciated. Your family and true friends should not consider it a hassle if you invite them for lunch or dinner.Advertisement
Questions and Answers
How can I forgot the man I love who is married already?
I just want to move on and accept the fact that he can never be mine. but I cannot move on because I love him very much
Forgetting someone that you really love is not an easy thing to do. Cause if you are eventually forcing your self to forget him, the more it will hunt you in your dreams. Sometimes the best way to forget is to "Accept". Accept the fact that you can never be together again, yes it is really hard to do it. But you must endure it all in order to continue in your life without him.
There are actually times that you will remember him, so instead of reminiscing on those times that you were together it is better if you just let it flow and think of something that you would like to do.
How can I get over a friendship that was a love interest?
I fell in love with my friend and he only went along with it to save the friendship. Now we both realize it did not work and it feels like the friendship is ruined.. I have tried: We have tried going out together but it does not work.. I think it was caused by: I get jealous if he talks to other woman. I don't want to be around to see him go out on another date.
Friendship is based on mutual understanding, and the person might be very confused about your jealousy: he feels that your friendship may limit his freedom in forming another relationships; and that pushes him away. If you attempt to hide your feelings behind an impassive mask and do it for long, he may start to feel more comfortable with having a friendly conversation with you from time to time. If you give him tips for next dates and act more like a friend for a long period of time, then he will feel more confident with you around. This will, also, work on you as well: by giving him tips and see his relationship as a third person, you will have a more objective, and less emotional, view on him as a partner.
The other much more effective solution is to stop your friendship and limit your contact to something that two common acquaintances would have: this will be painful for some time, but it will change your feelings towards the person to more neutral. To live through the phase, employ as many friends as you can, find a time-consuming hobby or a job, and, maybe, get more advice from our article on how to get over a broken heart.
- If you have problems with any of these steps, ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Donna, Mac Evans Cerrillo, Maria