Get over Fear of Marriage or Gamophobia

Edited by Nerissa Avisado, Anonymous, Lynn, Eng and 8 others

If you want to get over the fear of marriage or gamophobia, you need to be ready to be honest with yourself once and for all. This kind of fear cannot be resolved overnight. You need to retrace your steps as far back as you can to determine how you ended up feeling this way. You may deny it right now, but trust issues may have a lot to do with it.

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Almost everyone is well aware of the statistics: Half of all the first marriages in the U.S. always end in divorce. Second marriage's success rates are even lower. When you marry for the first time, you may never even think about the possibility of a divorce. You make a commitment until death do you part. And, of course, you intend to honor that commitment.

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There are marriages that end because the parties involved married at a very young age. When they mature, their dreams, hopes, and goals may shift and change. Some young people are saddled with a baby when they were not prepared for the commitment and hard work that marriage demands. Other marriages end up in divorce when one or both of them get emotionally involved with someone new. For those who have been able to survive a long-term marriage, theirs may end when the kids grow up and move away. In this case, the parents may realize they have grown too far apart from each other to stay in the marriage.

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Then there are those marriages that end when the victim of domestic violence finally finds the courage and resources to escape the abusive partner. This is a serious issue, and various states have enacted laws to protect victims of such violence from this abuse. For the past two decades, public education has emphasized that neither the husband nor the wife has the right to control his or her partner using threats or force. Domestic violence is wrong and must never be tolerated.

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These are just some of the reasons why some people can't help but be horrified at the mere thought of marriage, but these things do not apply to everyone.

Here are the possible marital issues you will need to face head on and the possible ways in which you can resolve it.

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How to Get Over Fear of Marriage or Gamophobia

  1. 1
    Problem identification.
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    If you want to succeed in your marriage, you need to be willing to exert a lot of work and effort. Problems will arise, so you need to give your marriage every possible chance of surviving before you even consider ending it. If you think you're dissatisfied or unhappy, then pinpoint the reasons why this is so and find every possible way you can fix them. The thing is, you'll never be able to do this unless you identify them first.
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  2. 2
    There's no more thrill.
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    Everyone has their own expectations with regards to marriage. They think marriage will be a lot like courtship except that both of you will go home to the same place at the end of the night.
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    1. You cannot really appreciate all the effort that will go into making your marriage work unless you actually do get married and deal with the nitty-gritty of everyday living with that other person.
    2. When spouses do nice things for one another and say good things to each other, it will be easier for them to ignore the little irritations that their partner triggers.
    3. Consequently, when the nice acts and words go far in between, little annoyances can easily pile up and blow out of proportion.
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  3. 3
    Financial issues may sabotage your marriage.
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    Perhaps you and your partner have conflicting ideas when it comes to your finances. Maybe both of you want more of the good life than you can actually afford, or one of you has the control and is penny-pinching while the other has a less serious attitude about your expenditures. Will chronic unemployment be an issue? Or is there some sort of tension because the wife is making more than the husband? Financial issues can and will add a lot of stress to your marriage if you don't sit down and really talk it out. Consider asking for professional help, whether it's a marriage counselor, a financial adviser, or both.
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  4. 4
    Kids might be a breaking point.
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    Do you have kids, or are planning to have some? It's normal for the imminent arrival of a baby to be your basis for your wedding. A lot of people really wish to have kids, so they will expand their families early in the marriage, even when they're not yet prepared.  
    1. Have you agreed on how you and your partner will raise the children?
    2. It's important that both of you have similar goals for kids and both of you must agree to share the responsibility of caring for the children.
    3. Children are wonderful, but they can also increase your marriage tension and stress.
    4. Make sure you have all these issues cleared so expectations can be met in the long run.
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  5. 5
    Fear of being trapped in an abusive marriage.
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    If your partner is physically, emotionally, verbally, or sexually abusive, don't even consider marrying him or her. This is one issue that will be very difficult to resolve once you have already tied the knot.  
    1. Fix it first while you are not yet married, and if your partner has seriously changed for the better, this is the only time that you can even consider going into a lifetime commitment.
    2. Know that statistics shows that domestic violence will typically increase in severity and frequency over time. If you think you will never be able to get out of it once you're married, why get married in the first place?
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Tips on Making Your Relationship Work to Make you Look Forward to Your Marriage

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  1. 1
    Get into therapy.
    Find a therapist if you think you need one. Ask your partner if it will be alright for him or her to join you as this is a collaborative effort to voice out each other's doubts and fears and try to find a way to finally get past these obstacles.
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  2. 2
    Treat any existing addictions.
    Your counselor may also be able to help you get yourself or your partner into treatment for whatever addiction is affecting your relationship. Sometimes, however, it takes an intervention from friends and family to get your dependent partner into treatment. This will take a lot of patience, effort and commitment on the people involved, but it's definitely worth it.
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  3. 3
    Manage your finances early on.
    Consult a financial adviser to end the financial dispute once and for all. Your financial adviser can help you set your budget, consolidate or reorganize debt, and stick to your plan. Check in regularly with him to review each other's spending habits to make sure both of you can live within your incomes on your own.
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How can you get over fear of marriage or gamophobia? By accepting that nothing is perfect in this world and that problems will definitely arise, but also know that help and resources abound, all you need to do is open yourself up to them. Nothing is certain in this world - only that it's full of choices, and that it's up to you to try and make the right ones. Good luck.

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Questions and Answers

How can I treat my boyfriend who has gamophobia?

I am fine but my boyfriend has a gamophobia. For three years, he has issues and he has excuses to avoid the marriage.

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Cold feet for marriage. After my marriage broke off I have developed this attitude towards guys. I make them uneasy and they run?

My marriage broke off, after that somehow I have developed this fear of marriage. I meet good guys but when it comes to commitment, I throw them off. I give them the cold shoulder, I say contradictory words somehow to make them run away from me.

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Contradiction and giving the cold shoulder is a way your nervous system reacts to a situation as the phobia mechanism triggers. You can do nothing about it until you start working on it. A lot of people live with a phobia and overcome them from time-to-time. Others are lucky enough to get rid of them completely.

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The best action is confronting the behaviour that created the phobia (and doing what the article suggests). Talk to your partner or to someone who is a good friend of his. Explain that it is involuntary action and that you require a different approach when it comes to certain situations. If your partner really cares about you, he will be persistent and try to understand the cause of your gamophobia.

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Nevertheless, curing the phobia entirely will require a highly trained psychologist, or you can always try to overcome the fear by thinking of it as a test of your feelings, and by creating drastic situations that would trigger those feelings, you can force yourself to confront and conquer those fears.

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How to overcome my fear of marriage?

I'm engaged and wedding day is in 2 months. If my love is strong for my fiance, why do I have so much fear of marriage? When I proposed to her in December I was so happy but since then we have had arguments about wedding plans and house hunting. During this time my depression and anxiety was triggered off, which makes it very hard to do normal things now. I've seen psychologist, exercised, meditated, acupunctured, spoke to friends etc but all those only helped a bit. Should I get better first before getting married or just go for it on the wedding day, depressed or not?

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I have unusual fear of marriage?

I am having fear of getting married and don't want to marry. I have tried: Nothing. I think it was caused by: Don't know

You have to find out whether you really do not want to marry, which is not phobia but just a way of living, or you are afraid of becoming married but you do want to.

If you do not want to marry, then you may know that a lot of people live together without the rite of marriage. There is no need for them to marry, and they feel very comfortable and confident about it.

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If you wish to marry after all, then you will need to find out whether your better half wants to marry too. If she does not, then it is better if you devote yourselves to each other without a wedding. If she wants to marry, then you will need to work on overcoming the fear. If you do not seek professional help from a therapist, then you might even sporadically run away from the ceremony, which happens with people with fears. Overcoming the fear is a long process that requires a psychologist to identify the roots and reason for the sudden feeling of phobia that takes a strong grip over you when a marriage ceremony is mentioned. After the roots have been found at the therapy sessions, you will learn to overcome gamophobia.

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What is the treatment for Marriage Phobia?

I have a brother who is getting fear to get marriage. He loves a girl very much but he is not ready to get married to her and not ready to leave. He was in relationship with a girl in the past and she dumped him. Now he has moved on, met one more girl. Both love each other a lot. But my brother is not ready to marry her. Tell me what shall I do?

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How to overcome the fear of getting married, lack of self confidence?

My problem is that I'm scared to face the situations that I have to face after marriage, Me and my fiancee have different food habits, we belong to different communities. I am scared that I will not be able to adapt to the changes that will come after marriage. Please help. I have tried: I'm in relationship with a guy from past 2 years... everything is fine between us except the idea of marriage. Even I'm quite sure that I can manage with him if his family is not with yous.. I think it was caused by: Maybe I am scared that I will not be able to adjust with his family members, adapt to his cultures and the family traditions. Moreover he has an unmarried elder sister, she might also get problematic with time

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Scared of marriage? How should I manage my fears in terms of getting married?

Hi, I am really afraid of getting married? Even a small thought scares me like hell. How to leave my parents after marriage? How will I have physical relationship? Then getting pregnant, repeated sex everyday, I m unable to cope up with this. Please help

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How to love someone? or to confirm that you fall in love?

Sometimes I think that I really fall in love with person but unfortunately find that with time this is not a love. It just pass time or something that I appreciated for the moment only.. I have tried: I tried to institute many relationships with people but in fact it is unsuccessful.. I think it was caused by: Because this relationships lack trust. I can't trust men easily

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Afraid of commitment and regret my poor choices?

I am very afraid of commitment, I was married before, I feel that all my relationships were poor choices and feel that I will continue to choose the wrong people.. The thought of commitment makes me physically stressed out.. Yet I hate being alone... . How do do people judge that the relationship is right? Is it really all about fate? Luck? Magical moments?. I have tried: I have met someone I like, but I walked away.. So exposure to the fear took place. I think it was caused by: I think all my choices were terrible in men and that I will continue to choose badly because I don't know what am looking for

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Recent edits by: siva, VisiHow, AuwalAD

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