Get a guy into the friendzone
Edited by Ephraim, Charmed, Nate Pepperell, Lynn and 20 others
Lets admit it, some guys just don't seem to understand what "no" means. This wiki will give you suggestions for putting a guy into the friend zone. This is what you want to do if he thinks of you romantically, and you're just not into him the same way. Some guys really like the challenge of the chase, when it comes to girls, so if your efforts to push them away are too subtle, that may only serve to encourage them. So, now you know you need a different and more straightforward approach.
The process of friend-zoning involves discouraging a guy from attempting to woo you. There's a real balance in this technique where you need to get your message clear and decisive, and yet get him to see the value of your friendship. If you aren't sensitive enough, it may jeopardize your friendship.
- 1 Friend-Zoning Strategies
- 2 Questions and Answers
- 2.1 How do I friendzone a guy without hurting him?
- 2.2 What can I do if he won't take "NO" for an answer?
- 2.3 How do you friendzone someone without hurting their feelings too deeply?
- 2.4 Does friendzoning a guy mean he is ugly?
- 2.5 When a guy tells you he is interested in getting to know you - how do you friendzone him?
- 2.6 Will a guy be hurt or his ego hurt if do not go to lunch with him?
- 2.7 How to tactfully let a guy know he is in the friendzone?
- 2.8 How can I tell him; I don't want to date him in a nice way?
- 2.9 How do I imply that I don't like this guy I'm talking to?
- 2.10 How do I slow things down with a guy who has very firmly expressed interest for me?
- 2.11 How do I tell him I'm not interested in dating without making everything awkward?
- 2.12 Please explain your problem in full detail, My male best-friend has a crush on me but he's like my brother and he kissed my best friend, who likes him, what do I do?
- 2.13 I barely know this guy but I really like but he is one year older than me how to make him like me?
- 3 Comments
Understand current circumstances.
Before you decide to put your friend into the friendzone, make sure you don't actually feel anything but friendship for him. If there is even a hint of romantic feelings for him, you might want to try the relationship out. It can be tricky to get a guy into the friendzone, trickier still to reconsider, and put him into the maybe zone. But if you don't feel anything for him romantically, you will need to let him know that all you want is friendship and nothing more. It's better to let him know that there's never a chance for a relationship together than to send him mixed messages and give him false hopes.
- 1If you notice that the guy is dropping hints here and there that he likes you, do not engage with the comments at all.Simply ignore them and quickly change the subject. If this guy is smart, he'll get the hint that you are not interested in his advances.
Notice this big hint: If he tells you he likes someone, but she does not notice him, and if he never mentions her by name, he may be talking about you. He might be trying to get the message to you subliminally, so you'll talk about your emotions. If you're curious enough to ask, you might discover at this point, that you also have feelings for him that go beyond just friends. At the very least, if you get him to divulge his desire to be more than your friend, the lines of communications are open, and you can start dealing with this, as you attempt to get him into the friendzone.Advertisement
- 2If he brings up the subject outright, you can counter it by changing the subject immediately.That way, he'll see that you're not really interested in him. Make sure not to sound mean, as this can be hurtful for him and might even damage his ego permanently if you're not careful.Advertisement
Turn him off
- 1Talk to the guy about your experiences with past boyfriends.This is for those of you who have trouble being direct. It's less honest, and a bit gamy, but you can throw him off, and he'll realize you're not looking at him as boyfriend material. He'll feel that because you don't bother to hide your past dealings with other boys, that you are dealing with him as a friend, a confidant, but not a potential lover. This is the opposite of a girl who holds back those kinds of stories with men she hopes to be involved with.
The more you talk about your life, the more he will understand that he is somebody that you feel you can talk to about everything - as a friend. Do your best not to hide anything, so that he feels that he knows everything about you good, bad and ugly.
- 2Allow the guy to see the blatant ugly truth about you, whether it is you gossiping, hating kids, political beliefs, religion, etc.- just anything that will turn him off from wanting to be your boyfriend. When a guy starts to like a girl, he will imagine her as perfect. If you play up your negative characteristics, then he will not have as many good things about you to imagine. Doing this means you are killing the whole "she is perfect" belief in the guy and it will push him further into the friend zone, although this entire tactic feels like a bad movie.
- 1Do not go to a gathering that seems like a date.If he wants to go somewhere with you, such as the movies, dinner or a show, either decline the offer, or invite other people to join you, as this will make it seem less like a date. You do not want him to think that you are interested in being alone with him.
You might not want to be direct, and just say no, but you'd rather tell him you are busy, or sick, or just not feeling up for it. If you aren't direct, you might just string him along. In his mind, he'll want to believe your really were busy. Don't be mean to him if your goal is to keep him as a friend, and not get rid of him forever. You may be inclined to go to an extreme, and tell him that you have a date, but lying is not a good base for any friendship. This is beyond a hint.
- 1If he invites you to go out during the day, perhaps for lunch, shopping or going to a sporting event, this may be a different story.However, agree to accompany him every time he asks. Even if he asks you to go drinking with him (if you drink) then this is fine, but be sure to not drink to the point where you will make bad decisions and succumb to his advances. The consequences will not work in your favor, and this will create confusion for him regarding your friendship verses a hoped-for romantic relationship.
- 2Be a friend, regardless of his romantic overtures, and be there for him, like you would for any other friend.If he has problems and needs you, there is nothing wrong with being there to comfort him. Avoid hugging and kissing, or anything that will seem too intimate, even if you are a warm touchy person. He will incorrectly conclude you are interested in him, other than as a friend. There are lots of ways to be there for your friend, without having to have physical contact.
- 3Be nice to him even after he's explained his romantic feelings for you.If you sincerely want to keep your friendship in tact, don't push him too far away, or be too harsh with him. "I like you as a friend and that's all," or, " I don't like you that way,", sound cliché, but can still get your point across. If he continues to push the issue, then the best thing to do is take a break from the friendship. This way, hopefully, he will get the message and work toward a friendship. There is a risk of losing him as a friend completely. If none of these things work, and he just won't give up, he may be obsessed with you.Advertisement
Questions and Answers
How do I friendzone a guy without hurting him?
This question is tricky. Friend-zoning a guy without hurting him, seems like an difficult thing to accomplish, especially if its a long time friend you're dealing with. It is a difficult thing, however, friend-zoning a guy is better than allowing him to continue his advances with no hope of a romantic relationship with you, and better than losing a friend. Below are simple tips you can use in conjunction with the strategies mentioned above. Try not to hurt him - really bad.
- Don't be too harsh. Avoid anger. Try to be calm, not irritate, when you break the news to him. Men's egos are fragile, and if you are mean, or insensitive when you tell him, it may stay with him for the rest of his life. Simply tell him you don't feel the same way about him. Talk to him the way you would like someone to tell you the same kind of thing.
- Whatever lies or stories you tell them, will, in time, be revealed. This will only drag the issue on and on, or cause the loss of the friendship entirely. Be honest.
- Reassure him that although his advances won't work on you, you can still be a friend, and do things together as friends do. Explain to the guy that it's not the end of the world, and if he's smart enough to accept that, you can have a really good friendship that may last for years and years, but make sure he has given up completely on you first.
If you have a friend who is single, and you think they might be suitable together, you could introduce them. Talk to him about the right way to get a girl. Encourage him that he is a great guy, and there's someone out there for him. Encourage him not to give up on love.
It is definitely tricky to friendzone a guy without hurting him. Do your best to minimize the fallout.
Here are a few things you can do, and things you can say to the guy to make it easier:
- Tell him you appreciate anything he's done to show you he loves you, whether it's gifts, or favors or simply kind things he's said.
- Tell him, as soon as possible, that you only like him as a friend. The longer you take, the more difficult it will be for him.
- Tell him you're flattered, and thank him. It will make him feel much better about the situation.
- Explain why you only feel friendship for him. It will hurt, but it's important that he understand you fully.
- After you tell him, be kind. If you really want the friendship with him, it's crucial that you remain sensitive to what he is going through.
Be careful of guys that use this as a tactic with many girls at the same time, just hoping for a "yes". These guys aren't sincere, and often found on social media. These are not men/boys you want in your life, not as a lover or a friend.
What can I do if he won't take "NO" for an answer?
This may not be easy to do, but you should distance yourself from him. You've tried everything you can to show and tell him you aren't interested, and he chose not to listen. Maybe you can ask mutual friends to talk to him and explain to him that the two of you can never be the couple he is dreaming of. If he really has it bad for you, it will help him get over you a lot easier, if you just aren't around.
- It would help you to know why the guy is so persistent. Ego is the number one culprit. This guy might be shocked to learn that someone is saying "no" when in fact most women say "yes" to his advances. Another reason is that this guy believes he can make you say "yes", which is why you need to make sure that your "no" is forceful enough. Send the right message so this guy will know he's just not welcome in your life.
- There must be something in you that keeps on attracting this guy. Try modifying your looks or act in a way he's never seen before. This way, his fantasy will diminish, and hopefully disappear. If the guy sees you in a different perspective, chances are, he'll no longer be attracted to you and he'll certainly look the other way. Of course, if you are pushed to this kind of tactic, he might pose a threat to you. He might be obsessed with you.
- Get support from the guy's friends. Ask them to talk to him, and convince him you are not the girl for him.
Do the following to deal with a man who cannot take no for an answer:
- Try to figure out why he is not taking no as an answer.
- Contemplate what it is that makes you attractive to him (this can give you clues on what to "change" if you are desperate).
- Figure out why you are not attracted to him, so you can tell him when you have a talk.
- When he wants to talk, listen to him. It will help you to understand him �" get into his head. You'll know more about the kind of woman he wants and be the exact opposite in a very desperate situation.
- When he starts to ask personal questions, answer the ones that you know he will not like
- Say no (in public places) in a direct but kind way, and walk away.
- Date the kind of guys you like. Hopefully, this will make him go away.
- Tell him why you do not like him.
- If he keeps on persisting, and you feel he is obsessed with you, stalking you or dangerous to you, you might consider going to the authorities. Even registering a compliant with the police, might come in handy farther down the road.
How do you friendzone someone without hurting their feelings too deeply?
We fall for a person who does not love us in return, and it hurts. It's inevitable. Telling a person that he is only in your friendzone, can be difficult. It might be easy to say the words, but it's saying them without destroying them that is really tricky. How can you reject someone without hurting them? Try to point out the good things about the guy. Tell him there is someone out there for him; someone who will love him, and whom he will love. You could tell him you are not ready for any commitment, but if shortly afterward you start dating, it will make him angry. Best to stick with the truth. You could introduce him to someone you think would be a good match. They might just hit off, but if they don't, you might be jeopardizing two friendships.
Does friendzoning a guy mean he is ugly?
Not necessarily, but of course, it may be your reason or one reason why you're not into him that way. Many guys will believe that, regardless of what you tell them, as there are still women out there who are very superficial. Explain to him that relationships are built on different levels and you like people in different ways. You may have a lot of friends who are guys and a lot of them may even be your "type", but you just don't see them as someone you'd go out with. Friendzoning a guy does not necessarily mean you find him unattractive, or he doesn't make enough money, it's usually the chemistry. For whatever reason, you just don't feel that way about him. You do not have the same romantic feelings he has for you.
It may make him feel a lot better if you remind him that boyfriends come and go, but often times, friends are forever.
When a guy tells you he is interested in getting to know you - how do you friendzone him?
Labels seem like they simplify things, but this is not always true, especially when trying to convince a man you are not romantically interested in him…that you just want to be friends. I just want to be friends. We've all heard it before. We've all been on the other end of that phrase. It's a difficult thing to hear, especially if the guy is really interested. Friendzoning a guy who wants to go beyond "just friends", can be risky and complicated, but lying is unfair and will always cause more damage in the end. If you really don't want to go beyond friendship with a guy who is dead-set on pursuing you, then you have to let him know in words, and in actions, that you only see him as a friend, and he should divert his romantic interests toward someone else instead. Here are some ways to let him know that he is officially on the friendzone list:
- Repetition makes things crystal clear. Keep on telling him how great of a friend he is and how you wish things would stay exactly the way they are. Be persistent and consistent in telling him that he is a friend, no matter how much he insists things should be otherwise. Mention the word "friend" a lot of during your conversations and eventually he and he will get it.
- Don't give him false hopes. Do not encourage his romantic pursuits. Make you're your family and friends know you aren't interested so he doesn't use them to try get to you. Make yourself unavailable and politely say "no". If he gives you gifts, say thank you, but tell him that he doesn't need to give you gifts. If he asks you to go to a movie or a fancy dinner, and it feels more like a date than two friends hanging out, do not mislead him by saying you're busy, or maybe another time. Just tell him you are uncomfortable with something that feels too much like a date. If you keep things consistent, he will soon realize his efforts are futile.
- Do not initiate things. Keep a safe distance. A guy who is totally in love with a girl may be instantly thrilled by a simple "hi" text message on his cell, and completely misinterpret your intentions. Likewise, he might consider unnecessary eye contact flirting. If he believes he's in love with you, every move you make or word you say, becomes a big deal. Be careful of the signals you are inadvertently sending to him. Let him know there are no "special romantic connections" or "sparks" for you at ll.
- Go for the direct hit. If all else fails, you can always tell him that he is in the friendzone. No matter what you do or how carefully you plan to execute things, there is no way to break it gently - the guy is bound to get hurt. This is only natural because the guy has special feelings for you, but he will get through that tiny heartbreak and you both can move forward as friends.
Will a guy be hurt or his ego hurt if do not go to lunch with him?
If you refuse a guy's invitation to have a dinner with him, it will surely hurt his feelings, but that doesn't mean you should feel obligated to have dinner with him. If you really want to, perhaps it would be wise for you to pick the restaurant, nothing too romantic, or perhaps invite mutual friends to join you, so it feels less like a date, all the while maintaining he is in your friendzone, and this is not a romantic date.
See more questions like this: My friend needs to get a guy into the friend zone but doesn't want to hurt his feelings?
How to tactfully let a guy know he is in the friendzone?
A way to tactfully let a guy know he is in the friendzone would be to tell him he's like
How can I tell him; I don't want to date him in a nice way?
I've hung out with this guy for two days. He happened to be in town, near my work and asked me to go out for a bit, then called me and said that he was already there at my work. We got lunch, didn't talk about really anything. Later on, he calls me, I ignored his phone call then he continued to text and call me through out the WHOLE night. He texts me in the morning, a picture of him while he's working. I have been ignoring his texts and phone calls, it's only been two days and I feel as if he is pressuring me to do something I don't want to do. How can I tell him that I don't want to date him, without hurting his feelings so bad? Thanks. I have tried: Ignoring his phone calls / texts. I think it was caused by: We both are something in common (hair stylists)
Has he made any romantic/sexual advances? Perhaps he just wants to be friends with you and is coming on too strong because he is lonely. Either way the best thing you can do is be honest and upfront with him. You do not have to outright say I do not want to date you. Instead send him a text message about how you look forward to getting to know him more as a friend.
How do I imply that I don't like this guy I'm talking to?
This guy is super creepy and clingy and I am getting creeped out by him and I don't know how to tell him I'm not interested anymore... but he keeps asking me out and I really feel uncomfortable and he's super obsessed with me help please! sos
Be upfront and firm that you do not want to date him. He obviously is not getting the hint that you are not interested. Hopefully he gets the message and backs off. If he does not you can notify the police if he is following you and beginning to stalk you because of his obsession.
How do I slow things down with a guy who has very firmly expressed interest for me?
I met my friend at a day camp I went to, and he's a really great guy. But I'm too young and he's too young and I'm not interested in diving into a relationship, even when I think that I could easily fall into that sort of friendship with him. But he isn't of my faith and that's a red flag.
Just tell him that you are not ready to be in a relationship yet. You both are young and he is a great guy so he should understand. You do not even have to say it outright. Just steer a conversation towards dating and how you want to wait until after you finish your education for example. This will let him down gently.
How do I tell him I'm not interested in dating without making everything awkward?
There is this guy and I'd say we are pretty good friends but lately I think (and all my friends think) he might like me. He's started asking me to go do stuff with him alone or telling me I looked really pretty. The thing is I want to date him, just not at the point in my life I'm at right now which is not fair at all to him. I don't know how to bring up the topic without making everything awkward and ruining our friendship completely. I do not even know if he likes me for sure. It's really beginning to bother me because I don't want to be leading him on without knowing it.
Since there is mutual attraction, wait for him to make the formal move. He may actually understand where you are in your life and is waiting for the right moment. For now casually hanging out alone is fine and if he does say he wants to date you, politely suggest that casually dating is all you can handle right now. If he is really interested in you, he will wait.
Please explain your problem in full detail, My male best-friend has a crush on me but he's like my brother and he kissed my best friend, who likes him, what do I do?
Please explain your problem in full detail, my male best-friend has a crush on me but he's like my brother and he kissed my best friend, who likes him, what do I do?
This is easy. Blame it on the "friend" code of not dating your friend's love interests. Not only will this let him off easily but also you will retain your friendship with your best friend. He can have a crush on you as long as he knows that there will never be any love connection.
I barely know this guy but I really like but he is one year older than me how to make him like me?
He barely likes me but we have so much in common like sports and he always picks me first for teams. I have tried: Nothing. I think it was caused by: I don't know
You can't make someone like you. It sounds like he is aware of your ability to play sports and is interested in interacting with you. Find reasons to talk with him. Maybe notice if he always wears a certain team's logo on his hats or clothes. Then bring them up when he is around to see if he responds. Make a Guy Notice You Without Being Pushy is a VisiHow article with information on how to get this guy to notice you.
- If you have problems with any of these steps, ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Nuance, TaliaBlanco, Allie2015