Get a Woman to Text or Call You First to Make a Date

Edited by Donna, Eng

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The Benefits of Having A Woman Contact You First For A Date

Let her start off your relationship by contacting you.

Dating customs have changed in the past decade or so. The customary etiquette used to be that the man would ask for a woman's number and then call her or not. The choice would be his. This would leave the woman hanging by the telephone or staring at her cell phone waiting or a text. However, this left the man at a disadvantage because even though it seems like he is in a strategically powerful position by being the one with the choice to call, he risks being rejected by the woman when he finally phones her for a date.

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In today's dating world, the one who is approached about meeting up is the one that has the most power in the dating game because you are setting yourself up as the one that is pursued, rather than pursuer. Getting her to contact you first, instead of the other way around is beneficial for you because:

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  • This strategy eliminates all doubt about whether or not she is interested and because she is sending the first text or making the first call you can be assured that you have already hooked her interest in some way
  • This approach saves you a lot of time because you have less risk of answering a text or a call from a woman that you are not interested in and who just happens to have your number
  • It spares you from texting a wrong number given to you by a woman who was just being nice when you originally asked for it, but really just wants nothing to do with you
  • It spares you the embarrassment of texting or calling and never being answered, because the woman who gave you her number was just being polite, but in reality is not interested
  • It might spare you from being strung along by a woman who just likes a lot of attention from men, but does not really want to move forward to meet for a real date as the woman who texts the male first is more likely to be serious about hooking up with him
  • If you are planning on dating a lot of woman this method saves you from the full time job texting or calling them all back
  • This is a win-win for both of you because she doesn't waste time talking to a guy who is not interested and you are not wasting time because you have shown interest by giving her your number

How To Make Sure She Has Your Number

Be sure to get her number before she leaves.


There are several techniques that you can use to make sure that the woman has your number, most of which provoke her to actually ask for it directly from you.

  1. 1
    Create a sense of urgency by telling her to text you later just as you are leaving
    .
    This is a good one because it works on both women that you have been flirting with all night and those that you have not talked to at all. As you are leaving, simply say, "I'm going now, but shoot me a text later and I will let you know what I'm up to." This is a way of making a last-minute agreement with her that is not really one because, it is all your idea and she has not had any real time to consider it. However, she will also not want to feel like she is losing out, so this also will provoke her to go "Wait a minute! I don't have your number." You can then give it to her an she can also then use the number to text you later or in a few days, if she is really interested.
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  2. 2
    Tell her you want to discuss an issue, or continue a stimulating debate or conversation at a later time by giving you a call or a text
    .
    This works really well on women who like to talk and many women cannot resist a man who is interested on what she thinks about a topic. All you have to say is "I'd love to continue this conversation in the future. Text me!" or "Give me a call and we'll talk about it." She will then more than likely ask for your number.
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  3. 3
    Very casually set up a future date with her by asking her to call or text you
    .
    Be a bit vague, as in "Text me if you want to go to that club together to see that band." This will create a sense of urgency in her to first of all, tell you the name of the club and also the name of the band, because women really like to be precise about future plans. Within seconds, she will be demanding your phone number so you can make those plans.
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  4. 4
    Tell her that you have great advice or an important recommendation for her and tell her to call or text you
    .
    Say something like, "Call me and I will let you know about that really great Vietnamese restaurant." She will then ask for your number. She will also be intrigued by the fact that you have not made plans for both of you to go together and will probably contact you to suggest a meeting.
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Tips and Tricks

Make up a card for personal use that only has your name and cell number on it.

  • It is helpful to have a card made up with just your name and a number, specifically for the purpose of giving it to women so they will call you, and this helps prevent you from making the first text or call (don't use your business card because you don't want personal calls coming to your office number.)
  • If she tells you that she never calls men, explain to her that you are giving her the power to be in control of which she chooses to date and that way nobody's time is wasted
  • If she insists that she will never call you ever, take her number, then send her a blank text and tell her, "No I have made the first move and texted you first. Text me if you want to get together"
  • You save yourself a lot of grief by not being attached to the outcome every time you give a woman a number, as it is not a guarantee that she will call, but if she does you will have the upper hand at the beginning of relationship
  • Keep in mind that women really do not like to disappoint anyone so they will give you their number just so you will not be unhappy
  • If you are an old-fashioned type of guy, you might be more comfortable pursuing the woman, rather than having her pursue you and there is nothing wrong with sticking to that approach if it works or you
  • Be aware too, that there are many women out there who like to be kept company by texting a man back and forth, but in reality, they have no intention of meeting with you in person or the first date
  • Watch for hints or clues that it might be a jealous boyfriend or husband texting you and abort any conversations that make you feel uncomfortable or make you suspect it is not her
  • If she hands you a business card, hand it back (because you lose these things) and ask her to text you on the spot

If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please post in the comments section below.

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Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Donna

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