Get a Guy to Propose Naturally Without Being Obvious

Edited by Nerissa Avisado, Anonymous, Eng, Lynn and 9 others

Men and women often differ in their views about marriage. A lot of women believe they can get married when they meet the right man, while many men will only consider marriage when they are ready for it. If you feel you're not getting any younger and you're ready for marriage, you can initiate some steps to get a guy to propose naturally without being obvious. After all, if you're in love with each other, there's absolutely nothing wrong with making the first subtle move.

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Tell-tale signs that a man is ready to propose marriage

As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. The same is true with your man. Before you can put any pressure on him, you have to understand what's going on inside his mind. Start by reading this list of signs he is ready to propose.

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  1. 1
    Real love.
    Does your man truly understand and value you, and make you feel special? Love is always tested through time. If you've been together long enough to be intimate, and to know each others' positive and negative traits, your man must be staying because he truly loves you. If not, he would have lost interest and left you already. True love is selfless and caring.
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  2. 2
    Maturity.
    Your guy must be mature enough that he can accept your imperfections. If he isn't ready to commit, he can easily emphasize your flaws and use them as a reason to break up with you.
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  3. 3
    Committed.
    Your beau needs to be mentally prepared and decided about settling down for a long term relationship. It's natural for him to have doubts, or even consider leaving, but in the end, his commitment will lead him to prioritize your relationship and make it work.
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  4. 4
    Readiness.
    Your man has to be mentally and emotionally prepared to move on into the next phase of your bond. The decision will come from him alone, at a time when he's ready to get married. If your man is the organized type, marriage is something he will prepare for.
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The do's and don'ts while you artfully lead him to propose to you

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  1. 1
    Act natural.
    Don't throw a tantrum by acting like a child. Don't deprive him of something as a form of punishing him for his delayed proposal. You don't want to twist his arm just to make him kneel down and pop the question.
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  2. 2
    Don't make him choose.
    Avoid offering him options from which he has to make a decision. You may be on the losing end if he stands by his decision not to get hitched just yet.
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  3. 3
    Stay calm.
    Don't panic if it is not happening. Endear yourself to him to make him feel he's lucky to have you and strengthen his desire to marry you.
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  4. 4
    Be honest.
    Tell your boyfriend your inner feelings. Express your fears and anxieties about the setup you have with him. Tell him about your concerns for the future, and that you want to be assured you will be together as you face it. Speak your heart's content to tell him that the relationship doesn't assure you of permanency. If the guy really loves you, he will not allow you to keep feeling uncertain. Instead, he'll do or say something to appease your troubled feelings, including a wedding proposal.
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  5. 5
    Deal with his decision.
    If the guy reacts negatively, it only means one thing: He's not ready for a commitment. He may truly and sincerely love you, but marriage is not among his priorities. Are you willing to continue the relationship? If you can't, it's time to ponder whether or not it's worth waiting until the guy is ready to commit. When you decide to hang on, you can stage some well-crafted moves to help him realize your value as a lifetime partner who can make his life happier and more convenient.
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How to get a guy to propose naturally without being obvious in your ways

  1. 1
    Act as the perfect girlfriend.
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    Let him see in you all the ideal qualities he's looking for in a future wife.
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  2. 2
    Enjoy the company of your married friends.
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    Hang out with your happily married friends, especially on occasions when he can feel the importance of celebrating with a family of his own. Let your friends help him appreciate marital life and realize there's nothing to fear about it.
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  3. 3
    Introduce him to your family.
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    Bring him to family affairs and introduce him to your relatives and friends. Make your family like him. The same is true when it's your turn to meet his family. Both of you must feel welcome and comfortable happy in the company of each other's families.
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  4. 4
    Talk about your future plans.
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    Tell him what your visions are to let him see that he is part of your long term plans. Talk about where you want to build your dream house, the kids you're going to raise as a family, or where you want to spend your retirement days with him. Although this may not make him propose to you on the spot, he will realize you're seeing the future as a couple.
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  5. 5
    Make him dependent on you.
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    Attend to his needs and look after his welfare. Make him realize he can't do things without your help. It will further make him realize he's a better man because of you. Regardless of how manly he is, he looks to you for stability and support. He'll be at a loss if he lets you get away.
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  6. 6
    Let him feel insecure at times.
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    Make him feel secure in your love. However, men often take it for granted, knowing their woman has undying love for them. Let him know there are other guys who are interested in you and would be happy to occupy his enviable position. This will effectively put into perspective for him that other guys stand a chance to take away his prized possession since the two of you have a non-committal relationship.
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  7. 7
    Live a life beyond him.
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    Don't allow your life to revolve around him to the extent of isolating yourself from the rest of the world. Have your own life separate from what you have with him. It's a great way to imply that you can exist even without him and still be happy. Men find it satisfying to know that women are dependent on them for happiness, and thus, they take control in running the relationship and steering it to the direction they want.
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While you wait for your boyfriend to propose, keep your dignity intact as you remember the following things:

While you wait for your boyfriend to propose, keep your dignity intact as you remember the following things: 90644.jpg

  • Your boyfriend doesn't control your happiness and future. Whether he proposes or not, there are other ways to live your life as happily and successfully as you want it to be.
  • Your guy may have a different agenda. He may just be using you to bide his time until he becomes more sure of his feelings and expectations.
  • Your boyfriend may have valid reasons for not proposing. Whatever they are, listen and understand his explanations.

Tips, tricks and warnings

Look for signs to indicate a deeper reason why your boyfriend is not proposing (previous marriage, financial issues, etc.)

Questions and Answers

How do I know if a man is committed to a relationship?

I am wondering why a man says he is committed yet he sound unsure

If there is new place of living involved (even in his thoughts), then he might be just unsure if he is independent enough to live a new life; and he might still be uncomfortable with sacrificing his privacy. If moving out to a new area is in your plans, then he might be thinking of his job, relatives, or even pets. If that is the case, you can ask him about that directly.

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Some people never sound confident enough, and they, basically, depend upon their partner a lot. They are submissive and not overly confident. However, they will follow you loyally. This can be defined by his doing what you ask every time.

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There are also people with the phlegmatic temperament that react, in the eyes of choleric and sanguine persons, a bit slowly and unwillingly. They do it either unwittingly or owing to the nature of their nervous system. They will love their partner and stay committed. You can see if that is the case if the person does not cheer a lot, party a lot, walks a bit slower than you, moves in a leisurely manner, etc.

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Engagement problems, I need your advice asap please?

Hi, I am 30 years old , my boyfriend is 40, my problem is he came to propose to me but suddenly his family refused him to engage with me, so now we are still together without any serious relation. I don't have a problem with them but they have told him to take his time and see me more and the painful thing he did it, now I am setting crying and feeling full of sadness because I truly love him. I need your advice please

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His family feels that you both have not spent enough time dating yet. Let him know that you are willing to date but not for a long period of time as you need the commitment that he was ready to give you. The good news is that he does want to marry you, he just needs to figure out how to make his family happy and you happy at the same time. Since you are both adults, you can try to encourage him to propose to you and perhaps tell his parents that there will be a longer engagement period of say one year. This will give you both time to plan your wedding ceremony and give his parents time to feel more comfortable around you. Though his parents did not approve, he is an adult and needs to realize that a marriage is between you and him and not his family. You both will be together long after his parents are gone.

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Unsatisfying proposal, I need a ring like other girls?

He proposed but I am not satisfied, he only asked me if I'm ready to be his wife and I said yes and now he is saving money for my bride price but there is no ring, I want a normal proposal, a ring like every girl, how can I make him do that. I have tried: I got a jewelry book from a friend and I showed him but he was only interested on which ring could suit him and not me. I think it was caused by: He also wants to wear an engagement ring is that possible

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Not all girls get a ring upon a proposal. It appears that he is simply requesting if you are interested in a future with him and not ready to make a formal proposal. When you showed him the jewelry book, he was not even interested in ring shopping for you and thought you were suggesting one for him. This says that he is not 100% committed yet but in the planning stages. Is a ring more important to you than a life long relationship with him? If so, save him some grief and move on.

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We've been together for SEVEN freaking years! Why won't he commit?

We've been in a serious relationship (and also living together) for 7 years. We've spoken about marriage and both want to, but he still hasn't done it. We've spoken about our future including children and where we'd live. I'm tired of waiting and have told him this before. It's been two years since I've said I'm tired of waiting. He still hasn't popped the question and I'm sick of waiting! What do I do from here??? Should I make him move out until he pops the question? I don't want to be the one to pop the question. EVERYONE including his own family has been asking for years when we are going to finally get married, including his father (who is a tough pill to swallow). He knows to ask my grandfather, take my best friend and mother to help pick out a ring, knows what kind of ring I want, etc. We've even planned a hypothetical wedding. What the hell is he waiting on? I have tried: Dropping hints, telling him, planning hypothetical wedding, 3 month separation. I think it was caused by: Absolutely no clue. He says he wants to

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In his defense, some guys just do not get the whole proposal/marriage thing. He said he wants to marry you so bypass and ring shopping and just begin wedding plans. You want to get married then you might have to literally plan it all and he will show up. Now I have a ring but never got a big proposal. Instead, my husband bought the ring and basically handed it to me and said let's get married. Then I planned the entire wedding with the only input from him being what time does he need to show up. This is not because he did not want to marry me but rather it is just not his thing to be focused on planning events.

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Set a date, book a hall with a deposit and let him know. Maybe he is stalling because he thinks he can't financially afford marriage or a ring but tell him that you just want to be married to him no matter what. Start with small wedding plans and gauge his reaction. You might be surprised that all along he just needed a bigger nudge from you in the right direction. This might mean that you go pick out the rings together and there is less fanfare in a proposal but if you really love him then you will accept those challenges and look at the brighter future with him.

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About proposal, how to make my partner to propose me without telling him directly?

hi, I am 50 years old with old fashioned values. I was always against de facto but when my boyfriend asked me to move in with him I agreed expecting it was the first step to full commitment. But we live together 1 year and he looks very comfortable with life he has and I feel awful inside...Poor self esteem.. He would not propose..And I noticed he trying to avoid conversations which may lead to that topic. What do I do? I am not happy. I have tried: initially when we just met I told him I did not accept de facto relationship and he assured me it would not be a problem because he wanted to marry me.. But after I moved in together he never mentioned about marriage any more..

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This is tough. Because you are both older there is bound to be baggage from the past as well as you both are set in your ways. He may have said he wanted to marry you initially to get you to move in with him. Perhaps he meant it but in the far off distance. Maybe he has commitment issues after a past marriage/relationship. Regardless he does not want to talk about it so you need to determine if you would be okay in a committed relationship with no marriage.

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How to make a proposal to my boyfriend?

I'm in love with one guy, but now he was avoiding me, and he really hurts me by moving away from me. Till now I never proposed to that guy. Today I want to make a proposal to that guy. I don't want to miss him in my life. I really love him, but I'm not able to express my feelings by words. Please help me, how can I?. I have tried: nothing. I think it was caused by: When he avoids me, I felt so sad, so crying.

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Tell him your feelings one last time. He may not be as interested but at least you will have closure in that you were upfront rather than regretting later that you never said anything.

What does it mean when you tell a man that you want to spend the rest of your life with him and he does not respond to that at all?

Been in a relationship for 2 years and 8 months but he is not showing signs of commitment. I have tried: I asked again if at all he is going to respond but there was no answer. I think it was caused by: Maybe because he is afraid of commitment and he works a lot

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My name is Anna am in a long distance relationship please how can I make my boyfriend propose to me?

Am in a distance relationship and it a year plus now , we are both not in the same country how can I make him propose to me  ? I love him so much and I can't wait to say yes to him. I use him as my display picture in all my social network.. I have tried: I make sure I communicate with him via calls or videos streaming but I don't see him proposing soon. I think it was caused by: I don't know while and what is keeping him

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I was working towards comforting him about what he feels for me and where the relationship is heading?

I spoke with my boyfriend elder brother about confronting my boyfriend who is his brother and he said I shouldn't do that, his brother has plans for me, and he will come to propose soon, so I should keep calm not to be in a rush because men don't like it to rush them. I have tried: I seriously feel I should ask my boyfriend where our long distance relationship is leading us to. I think it was caused by: I think because we are both not in the same country

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Categories : Marriage

Recent edits by: jennyhilbert, tiredofwaiting, Doug Collins

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