Get a Busy Boyfriend's Attention If Your Boyfriend is Always Busy with Work or School vs Always Tired vs a Busy Professional Athlete ... and 1 more
Edited by Christine dela Cruz, Eng, Lynn, Doug Collins and 19 others
Every relationship between two people requires the cooperation and attention of both partners to work, and when it appears that one partner is not carrying their share of the water, an imbalance occurs, and the relationship starts to founder. If you have an often absent, always too busy for life boyfriend, you may be feeling like you are on the deck of a sinking ship. It turns out, however, that with a little tinkering, you can regain the balance you need to have a successful relationship, even with your always busy boyfriend.
Method 1: If Your Boyfriend is Always Busy with Work or School
For most people, work consumes most of their time during the work week, and likewise, if your boyfriend is in college and wants to do well, he will need to devote himself to his studies, especially during exams.
- 1If it's a short-term thing, like studying for exams or crunch time at work, then you should just wait it out. If he's always been a busy guy, then you'll have to figure out if you can accept him as he is.Determine why he is so busy and how long it will last.Advertisement
- 2If he says no, then you should respect his decision. Try not to take it personally.Ask him if you can help him study, or just get his mind off his exams for a while.Advertisement
- 3There will always be times during the day that he will be available, such as lunch or dinnertime. Avoid bothering him during regular work hours or other times when he is normally preoccupied. It may also help if you ask him about his schedule, so you have a better understanding of how to handle the situation.Observe his schedule and try to approach him only at times that are reasonable.
- 4Regardless of how tight his schedule is during the week, he should be more available during the weekends. You might not get to spend every weekend with him because he might plan to spend time with his friends or be doing solo activities he enjoys, but he should be open to dedicating at least some of his weekends to you. If he doesn't, then that's a red flag that his relationship with you isn't high on his list of priorities.Plan on spending your weekends together.
- 5Don't be clingy, but at the same time, let him know how much you miss his company. Tell him you understand how busy he is, but that you love him and would like more time with him.Let him know that you miss him.
Method 2: If Your Boyfriend is Always Tired
If your boyfriend is a busy guy with a hard job or just one that takes up a lot of his energy, he will be tired during the week more often than not; however, you can still find ways to spend time together that don't involve a huge outlay of energy for him.
- 1Make some popcorn, even.Log into your Netflix account or use his and find a movie that you both like and watch it together.Advertisement
- 2Maybe you could even read to him if he likes that sort of thing.Ask him to cuddle with you on the couch, or you can read together.
- 3If he's had a hard day at work and he's really tired, he will appreciate a nice hot meal when he gets home.Cook him dinner.
- 4Most people hold their tension in the neck and shoulders area, so a good massage will help to relax and rejuvenate him after a long day.Massage his neck and shoulders for him.
- 5If you were the one who was tired, wouldn't it make you feel better to see that your other half wasn't frustrated with you?Try to be understanding.
Method 3: If Your Boyfriend is a Busy Professional Athlete
It takes a lot of dedication to compete in a sport at a professional level, so you can expect a lot of your boyfriend's time to be taken up with not only playing in competitions during the season but also with training and traveling. And although his off-season schedule will be comparatively lighter, he will still need to train to keep his body in shape.
- 1Tell him that you don't want to interfere with his sports career, but you wonder what adjustments can be made so that you feel like you are getting enough time with him.Be honest with him about your feelings.Advertisement
- 2Talk to your boyfriend and find out what his schedule is like. Perhaps you two can get away for a weekend here and there. Perhaps you can plan to spend every evening with him while he's at home during the season, or maybe he can bring you along on a few of his away trips.Plan blocks of time that you can spend together.
- 3Ask him if you can help to carry his gear or get him water.Offer to help him train.
- 4If you can't cope with his frequent absences or tight schedule, then perhaps he isn't the right man for you. Also, if you are always the one who has to come up with plans to spend time together, then consider that he might not be as invested in the relationship as you are.Decide if you can handle being the girlfriend of a pro-athlete.
Method 4: If Your Boyfriend Keeps Cancelling Plans with You
Canceling several times should make you wonder if he really respects you and your relationship. Men sometimes need to feel in control, and this may be a way for him to control your relationship.
- 1If he has a good reason, that's one thing, but if he hems and haws, tell him that's not good enough.Ask him to explain why he is always canceling.
- 2Tell him that his constant canceling makes you feel like spending time with you is not important to him, and therefore by extension, you are not important to him.Communicate your feelings to him.
- 3Tell him that when he regularly cancels plans, you've made to see each other that you wonder how important your relationship really is to him.Lay down the law.
- 4Suggest that until he has time to give to you fully, he should not make plans with you.
- 5Turn the tables and see how he reacts. You may be surprised to see that you suddenly become a priority.Tell him that when he can see you, he needs to contact you to see if you are available.Advertisement
- 1 Questions and Answers
- 1.1 How to Handle Busy Boyfriend?
- 1.2 Boyfriend has had an operation, and we haven't met since?
- 1.3 My boyfriend is ignoring me? What can I do?
- 1.4 What must I do if my boyfriend is doing this because I'm so involved with him?
- 1.5 My boyfriend ignores me always and neglects to spend time with me even on texting or call?
- 1.6 I have a husband (over 19 years), I married my friend's brother, but recently my husband's brother and myself got into a relationship and once we shared the bed he said he has been waiting for the past 20 years for me and he loves me since he was 16 years old till today. So I accepted his love but after sharing the bed he left me. I am unable to leave him, can you suggest a better way or what should I do? I love my husband and his brother?
- 1.7 I want my boyfriend back in my life. I want to catch his attention again. I want to create that spark again?
- 1.8 Long distance relationship and lack of communication?
- 1.9 I don't know whether he needs me or not. He is asking for time and creates a distance between us. Ignoring my calls and taking hours to reply me. He told me that he is fed up with his job, don't know what to do, help me
- 1.10 How do I get my needs fulfilled?
- 1.11 Does he even consider me as his girlfriend?
- 1.12 What should I do when my boyfriend behaves like he does not care about me?
- 1.13 My boyfriend doesn't want sex with me anymore. Could it be because of his drinking?
- 2 Comments
Questions and Answers
How to Handle Busy Boyfriend?
This cannot be avoided, especially if your boyfriend has a successful career. It is also just fair if you will allow him just to deal with his job. You should not try to interfere because he won't appreciate it. There has to be space left in any relationship for one to grow on his own and experience life on his own. It does not have to be about the two of you all the time.
If he is busy, just give him the space he needs. Do not bother him or act hurt that he does not have time for you. If anything, this is the time that he needs your understanding the most. You can also use this time to deal with your own personal matters.
See more questions like this: Why is he so busy? This is becoming so frustrating
Boyfriend has had an operation, and we haven't met since?
Boyfriend had an operation - serious one at the beginning of Jan. Recovery hasn't been easy, but he is now back at work and driving again. However, we talk 2 to 3 times a day and text a lot, but he hasn't suggested meeting up again. We've been together 3.5 years.
Recovery from any operation can be considerably long and challenging. In this circumstance, where he has not tried to see you since the operation, it seems that there might be a little bit more of a challenge for him than you might think. It may be possible he is nervous that you might see him differently because of the operation, or he is nervous you may be "grossed out." Asking him why he hasn't wanted to see you can be a good start or trying to involve him in plans once again. Considering how long you have been together, with simple communication, this should be a small obstacle to overcome.
My boyfriend is ignoring me? What can I do?
My boyfriend is ignoring me, I say I want to end this relationship, he replies No. Please, No, but I say No, that is my last decision.
If that is what you truly feel and you are ready to end the relationship, then you should not be worried about him ignoring you. That is the ideal situation for two people to move on after ending things. So ignore his answer and inform him then that this is your final decision, you will not talk to and see him anymore as it is your choice, and he will not limit your freedom. Do not engage in conversations after that. He may say nonsense about you to your friends. Do not react to that. Just move on and take the step into the next chapter of your life.
What must I do if my boyfriend is doing this because I'm so involved with him?
We are in a long distance relationship but not that far, the problem is that when I call him, he sometimes doesn't pick up, or he will say I will call you back, but he won't return my calls, when we are sometimes chatting, he doesn't reply but his online. I'm starting to lose interest.
The best advice I could give you would be to attempt to have a serious conversation about your relationship with him. Find out if you are both on the same page in your relationship, and to see if you both want the same things. Inform him how you feel about him constantly leaving calls unanswered, and not answering your messages when you can see that he is still online. You may also want to tell him that because of this, you are beginning to lose interest. The outcome will either make him re-think his position about how he has been treating you, or it will give you the answers you were looking for. Either way a healthy relationship needs open communication.
My boyfriend ignores me always and neglects to spend time with me even on texting or call?
He is living far away from my place. So we can't regularly meet, so we keep in touch with mobile calls and SMS. But he never bothers to text me!! I have to call or text me every time, but he does not bother even to reply me!! After some days, only he answers me and talks without any feelings. I don't know whether he loves me or not, but I love him truly more and more.
Unfortunately, this happens sometimes with long distance relationships. You may have to sit back and ask yourself if this is the kind of person you want to be in a relationship with. You may want to talk to him, when it is convenient for the both of you, and try to find out if something is wrong, or if there is a simple miscommunication between you. If you do this, and there still is no change in the relationship, you may have to take measures into your hands and decide whether to leave the relationship or stay.
I feel my husband's brother used me, after his use he left me, what will I do?
If you love your husband, you need to work on your relationship with him. A man that would sleep with his brother's wife does not have a moral compass and he absolutely did use you. Think about that and use that anger to get over him. If he had really loved you he would not have done this to you or his brother.
I want my boyfriend back in my life. I want to catch his attention again. I want to create that spark again?
Actually the problem is started after his birthday, he changed his room and didn't tell me about it. After that he started maintaining distance, whenever I ask him about this, he always says that he is tensed because of his job problems, he even didn't come to meet me. Every time he talks to me, he is like talking forcefully. Please help me!!!! I need him back
You can't make someone want to be with you. What you can do is show how much you love him, despite his recent attitude, and hopefully, he will soften towards you again.
Long distance relationship and lack of communication?
Hi. I met a guy 4 months back in a church we both visited. He is in Swaziland and I'm in South Africa. In the beginning, he used to call me twice a day sometimes once. He is a lawyer by profession, so I understand he is busy. He texts every time he gets a chance. But always text me every night. He doesn't call these days. He once came to South Africa to meet with me. We chose a central place and we met there. He then asked me to do a passport so that I can visit him. I did the passport request and I just got it. He says I should visit when he closes for December holidays so that we can spend quality time together. He always says " I love and adore you big time, for real." Should I be worried that he isn't calling me? If I call he answers and always happy to hear from me. He says work is hectic because they are about to close. But can't wait to see me. He sends me money all the time to get anything I need. Should I be worried?. I have tried: I have tried not to text to give him his space. And he always is the first to text me. Because it is easy to text in court but not call. I think it was caused by: He got an accident a week before he stopped calling and his office also caught fire. He was always texting and updating me with pictures of the car and the office. And he had to get a new office. So maybe relocating had been hectic
There is nothing other than he is busy right now relocating and recovering from his accident. He stated to you that he loves hearing from you and wants to see you for the holidays so look forward to that. It is tough when you are in a long distance relationship and you can't just drive over to speak in person. Relax.
I don't know whether he needs me or not. He is asking for time and creates a distance between us. Ignoring my calls and taking hours to reply me. He told me that he is fed up with his job, don't know what to do, help me
Actually, I am an orphan girl. I have no relationship and my parents are dead..so he came to my life and brightened it. He helped me move away from my ex-boyfriend who made me more troubles than love, so this guy was my everything. He feeds me cause I have no job and still I am a student. Now he doesn't make me feel better about our relationship... What should I do it's our 3rd year. Please help me, I can't live without him. He is my strength. I can't move on with my works without him. Please I am waiting your advises
Most likely he is feeling stress about his job and taking his frustrations out on your relationship. You have been together for three years so he is emotionally invested in your relationship. Ask him if there is anything you can do to take some pressure off of him. Explain to him that he has supported you in the past and now you want to support him.
How do I get my needs fulfilled?
My boyfriend is always busy at a very labor intensive job and usually too tired after he gets off. I try to be understanding and work with him but when do I get my needs met? I have a busy life too and always make time for him, when will he makes time for me?. I have tried: Giving him space. Texting him only when he texts me or before he goes to work. I think it was caused by: His new job keeps him very busy.
Making changes like a new job can be exhausting until one gets into their new routine. Give him a few weeks to get adjusted, and if things have not changed, ask him to make time for you. Sometimes guys do not even notice they are ignoring their women. Everyone has different needs and a relationship means compromising for the good of the relationship. Hopefully, you will figure out what the balance is for you to be happy.
Does he even consider me as his girlfriend?
My boyfriend is an engineering student. He doesn't give me time at all. He doesn't even consider me as someone to spend his time with. We go weeks without talking to each other. During that, he says that he's too busy and hence I must not text him. At night when I text him, that time too he says that he's busy. He has time to post kinds of stuff on Facebook and reply to the comments of people but not to talk to me? Does he really still love me. Should I leave him? Will that make him miss me? Or I must just ignore his texts even if he sends any as in going on 30 days no contact? Will that make him realize his mistake? What must I do? Please guide me. I'm so very confused and extremely hurt. I have tried: I've tried not be available much. I've tried not to bother him and not text him first. If suppose he texted me and I was unable to answer..if I text him back after few days, he says he's busy... I think it was caused by: Probably I feel that he is too confident that I'll never leave him. But I'm scared. Last time when we broke up, he approached me first after few months by apologizing. He still keeps mentioning that it was he who had come for me. So I'm scared whether his ego will allow him to come for the second time.
Be upfront with him and tell him that while you realize he is busy, his refusal to make any time for you is insulting. It sounds like your relationship is off to the side behind other obligations like school for him. While that is understandable, he should not be sitting on Facebook without making any time to also send you a quick message of hello. Some guys just do not know how to divide their time so that they can show some attention to their girlfriend. Before you break up with him again, give him the respect of at least speaking with him about how you feel neglected. If you are unhappy with his responses then perhaps it is time to end the relationship so you can find someone that makes time for you during their day.
What should I do when my boyfriend behaves like he does not care about me?
He is always complaining about my attitude and he always makes me feel guilty, but I love him so much and he knows that and he does not want to satisfy my urge. He denies my opportunity to see him and also denies me of having sex. I have tried: Have tried apologizing and also doing things that he likes. I think it was caused by: I think he has another girl and he is avoiding me because of her, but I want him back!
You should move on. He does not want to invest in the relationship with you. Saying that he does not like your personality is another red flag. Even if you try to make changes, he probably is not seeing it because he is judging you still by your past behavior. Some people have a toxic relationship in that they love each other but also hate each other. These are miserable relationships. You owe it to yourself to find someone that embraces your personality and all of that spunk and attitude you have instead of obsessing about trying to get someone back that has emotionally moved on already.
My boyfriend doesn't want sex with me anymore. Could it be because of his drinking?
I have been with my boyfriend for approximately 7 years. His drinking has increased during the past few years, and sex is virtually nonexistent. When I have discussed this with him he said to him it is just like doing the washing up, and he gets nothing from it. He has also accused me of me being the reason for him turning to drink. As I care for him so much, I have suggested I don't see him so often as I would rather he is healthy and unstressed, I do not want to be the cause of his health deteriorating. He said he doesn't see me that often and didn't agree to this. His behavior has made me feel unattractive, not a priority in his life, just used for a convenience for other things like staying over, meals and being closer to his local drinking buddies. I would appreciate some advice on this.
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Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Kathy McGraw, chemzy24, Nuance