Get Your Boyfriend to Forgive You
Edited by Ian Gabriel T. Tolledo, Karan Khanna, Lynn, Maria Sharon Ubando and 19 others
To err is human, to forgive is divine - so the saying goes. You know you've done something wrong and you want to make amends, but your boyfriend still holds a grudge. While it's never a good feeling to be on the receiving end of negative feelings, understand that the process of forgiveness takes time and patience. Whether you've committed a major offense or something seemingly minor, there are ways to coax your boyfriend to forgive you. Keep in mind that if you've done something very hurtful, the process of forgiveness can take a huge amount of effort on both of your parts. Be prepared for roadblocks along the way. If you're truly ready to accept your wrongdoings and ask for forgiveness, there are several things you can do.
- 1 Are You Ready to Ask for Forgiveness?
- 2 How to Ask for Forgiveness
- 3 Things to Remember
- 4 What If You Have Trouble Communicating?
- 5 If You've Cheated
- 6 Tips, Tricks & Warnings
- 7 Questions and Answers
- 7.1 Nice gestures to get boyfriend's forgiveness?
- 7.2 How to ask for forgiveness from your boyfriend through writing or texting?
- 7.3 How to get your boyfriend to forgive you for a fight?
- 7.4 Any idea on how can I make him forgive me? like doing stuff for him?
- 7.5 Will my ex lover forgive me for going through his phone and can we be casual associates for one day?
- 7.6 I spoke about something private in his life and I feel I have lost his trust. Something he called me on about an hour after it happened?
- 7.7 Is it possible to get my boyfriend back?
- 7.8 He thinks I neglected him when I wasn't trying to. How do I get him back?
- 7.9 How can I get my boyfriend to sound happy again?
- 7.10 I hurt him by questioning his authenticity?
- 7.11 How can I get him to apologize if he accused me of something I didn't do?
- 7.12 How can I make him come running to my arms again after a bitter fight?
- 7.13 I was caught posting flirting messages on the Facebook with a girl?
- 7.14 How do I convince him that I am truly sorry so he will talk to me?
- 7.15 How do I get a man I met and been talking to for several weeks to talk to me again after just stop responding to his texts?
- 7.16 I grinned with a boy at a party and my boyfriend is furious what do I do?
- 7.17 Is there a way I can get him back?
- 7.18 What to do? I think it's over?
- 7.19 What can I do to get him back?
- 7.20 I am a 20 years old girl who is dating a 28 year guy but long distance?
- 8 Comments
Are You Ready to Ask for Forgiveness?
Asking for forgiveness is easy, but changing your attitude after you ask for it can be much harder. Some people ask for forgiveness for the sole reason of not having someone as an enemy. When asking for forgiveness from your boyfriend, you should look at the implications, and ask yourself these questions:
- Do I accept that what I've done was wrong?
- Am I really sorry for what I've done?
- Am I ready to face him right now?
- Do I have what it takes to make amends?
- Am I willing to change my attitude for him?
Answering "no" to any of these questions might prove that you are not ready yet to ask for forgiveness. If you're not truly sorry, or you're only sorry that you were caught, asking for forgiveness at this point would be insincere. This can set your relationship up for failure in the future. True repentance should come from the heart, and hiding your real intentions will only be deceiving your boyfriend. If you truly love him and want to improve your relationship, be honest and commit yourself to the process.
How to Ask for Forgiveness
- 1Show a clear indication of regret and specify that you are indeed sorry for what you've done. Be humble, and remember to offer a statement of remorse that makes your boyfriend understand that you are genuinely sorry. This shows that you acknowledge what you have done. Your apology will seem insincere and flippant if you fail to explain what you are sorry for. Furthermore, saying sorry without explaining the circumstance of your remorse may weaken your apology.Apologize for your mistakes.Advertisement
- 2It's important to refrain from giving explanations that could be interpreted as excuses. While it is okay to give an explanation and provide context, you must focus on your own remorse and regret. Asking for forgiveness means that you acknowledge your wrongdoing, you value his affection and love, and that you are willing to try to re-build the relationship. Let him know that you are willing to change, and be ready to explain exactly how you'll do that. He will likely expect you to work hard to avoid committing the same mistake in the future.Ask him to forgive you for your mistake.Advertisement
- 3You might feel like your boyfriend is overreacting to your mistake, but show some compassion for his feelings. He might be afraid that you'll commit the same offense again, or he's still hurt and angry because of your actions. It's not always easy to imagine other people's feelings, but empathizing with your boyfriend will help you see his dilemma more clearly.Understand his emotions.
- 4Here comes the challenging part. You know that forgiveness should come with amends, right? Even though your boyfriend may not ask amends and simply forgive your offense, it doesn't mean you have to act as if nothing happened. Offer to do something special for him, or to make up for the situation in some way. While you cannot undo your actions, you can still do your best to repair the situation. For example, if you destroyed your boyfriend's beloved guitar, offer to pay for any repairs or buy him a new one.Offer amends.
Things to Remember
Give Him Time to Cool Off
Give your boyfriend the time he needs to calm down. If you immediately start showering him with apologies, making excuses and asking for forgiveness while he's still very emotional, it's unlikely that he will respond in your favor. Give him time to process the situation and his feelings, then you can approach him.
While You're Waiting
Use the time you're waiting to think about what you've done. Try to put yourself in his shoes. Take note that a genuine apology should involve taking full responsibility for your offenses. Make your apology, motivated by a desire to reassure him that you care for him, and this will help ease his pain. Always think about how you can avoid making the same mistake again.
Let Him Talk
Dominating the conversation when you're asking for forgiveness is just wrong. If he wants to say something regarding a point you've said, let him. Let your boyfriend express his own emotions without you interrupting him or getting defensive. Show him your apology is sincere by listening and understanding what he wants to say. This gives your words some weight and proves that you truly care about making things right between the two of you.
Kindness goes a long way when asking for forgiveness. Being nice to your boyfriend, even when he is angry at you, will give him the opportunity to realize that you are truly a nice person. He might wonder why he was ever mad at you in the first place. In many cases, nice gestures will soften his heart enough to dissolve all anger. Show him your love in every way, and try to make his life easier. Be there to support him, but don't smother him. Prepare his favorite meals, give him a massage, buy him something that you know he's been wanting and plan small things that show him you appreciate his presence in your life.
Earn His Forgiveness
Demanding forgiveness can drive your boyfriend further away from you. Depending on the situation, it might take a lot of time for him to forgive you. This gives you the chance to put in all the hard work it will take to fix the situation and your relationship. Prove yourself to him and show him that you're worthy of his forgiveness without forcing it. Remember that he is not obligated to forgive you, especially if you've done something that really hurt him. True forgiveness can take months, so don't get angry, pushy or defensive if he's simply not ready. Imagine forgiveness as a process rather than an event. Remember that your actions and behavior during the process is more vital than the words you choose to express your apology.
What If You Have Trouble Communicating?
People often fumble with words when they're talking about something that stirs up emotion. Writing a letter makes it easier to explain yourself, and avoids the chance that you'll say something you regret since you can reword ideas or retract statements. This works especially well if you have a lot to say since it can help your boyfriend clearly see where you're coming from. Just make sure that you give him a chance to respond, whether he chooses to write a letter back, or speak to you in person.
If You've Cheated
If you've cheated on your significant other, this requires an even more careful road to redemption. Cheating is undoubtedly one of the most painful sins you can commit against your partner. If your boyfriend has stuck with you so far, there might be a way to salvage the relationship, but it will take an enormous amount of work on your part to rebuild the trust he once had in you. In addition to asking for and earning his forgiveness using the methods explained above, you'll need to do the following.
- 1If you've been caught cheating, avoid making excuses and apologies. Simply accept that what you've done is wrong, and do not blame him for your behavior, regardless of what he's done or how he makes you feel. There is no excuse for cheating. Express remorse and show that you're humbled to avoid an argument.Control your emotions.
- 2Show your boyfriend some respect and prove your sincerity by cutting off contact with another guy. If you really want to work on your original relationship, this is absolutely essential. Explain to the other person how you feel, and let him know that you want to repair your relationship with your boyfriend. Even if your boyfriend is angry and isn't spending a lot of time with you, don't anger him further by calling the other guy or making plans with him. Your boyfriend will be highly sensitive to your whereabouts during this time. He may want to know where you are at all times, as he probably has trust issues with you. That's normal and to be expected, so the best thing you can do is go along with his wishes if you want to regain his trust. Be open and honest during this time.Cut off all contact with the other man.Advertisement
Tips, Tricks & Warnings
- Be patient, as some people need time to process apologies and consider their responses. Give your boyfriend time and remain calm. Trying to force someone to forgive you will most likely backfire.
- If your boyfriend does not forgive your sin immediately or answer positively, try not to respond in anger.
- Time your apology well. Offering an apology too soon may seem insincere, whereas an apology given too late may seem like an afterthought.
- Think before you act. Whether or not you are forgiven, always remember that your behavior can and will affect the people who care about you. Always consider the consequences of your actions before you choose to act.
- Evaluate whether you've actually done something that warrants his forgiveness. In some cases, we've been put in a position that makes us feel like we've done something wrong, even when we haven't. Things, like visiting a friend or having casual chit-chat with a stranger, might offend your boyfriend, but those things aren't necessarily wrong. Make sure you're in a healthy relationship with someone that doesn't constantly assume that all of your actions are bad.
Questions and Answers
Nice gestures to get boyfriend's forgiveness?
Here are some gestures to get boyfriend's forgiveness:
- Change the action that your boyfriend doesn't like, by doing this it will make him notice you that you really are sorry and you won't do it again.
- Hold your boyfriend's hand, doing this can make both of you be closer like holding hands while walking and when you talk to him, hold his hand and say what you want to say. If you want to be forgiven, hold his hand and say that you are truly sorry for what you did and look deep in his eyes and you must be sincere in saying those words.
- Hug your boyfriend, hugging is a universal medicine and it is free. So take this opportunity to always hug your boyfriend, make him feel that he is not alone and he is safe around you. It is also a good gesture if you want to ask for his forgiveness, so while you hug him say these words "I'm sorry babe and I can't promise, but I will try my best to not to do it again. I love you so much." Hugging your boyfriend is good for him and for you and hugs teaching us what secured means.
- Kiss your boyfriend, kiss him on the cheek every time you meet him and when saying good-bye kiss him. Doing this can make your boyfriend feel that you love him and make him feel that you will love him more.
- Tap his hair, like arranging it, put this section of hair on this side. If you see a dirt get it and put it away. You can also do this to his clothes if he wears it by if it has a dirt get it also and put it away, arrange his shirt or the top that he is wearing. That gesture shows how caring you are.
- Effort, like cook for him, prepare a snack for him. Make cookies or cake and decorate it with hearts, put a sweet message, or put your sorry message. If he has a favorite character like Super Mario, make a simple Super Mario cake or mushroom cookies. This gesture shows how sorry you are and you are making up to him.
- Join him with his hobbies, like playing computer games. Join in and with this, both of you have a quality time, both of you are having fun and this also shows that you are supporting him with his hobbies.
You must be sincere, you must voluntarily do it with love when you make those gestures, not only for asking him for forgiveness but you are just showing him how you love him.
A nice gesture will be for you to give him space to understand and interpret his feelings. He will not be able to fully forgive you if you are constantly asking for forgiveness or doing things to make him remember the mistake that you have made towards him.
How to ask for forgiveness from your boyfriend through writing or texting?
If you want to write a letter, the first thing you do is get a stationary, designed with hearts, or you can also make a customized letter, so just get a clean paper, get your color pens and customized a letter then follow the simple letter below and if you want just a text just follow the message below.
Dear my love, (Enter his name or your nickname for him)
I am so sorry for the things that you don't like or those things or words that I did or say to you, please forgive me. I love you so much (enter his full name). Sorry if I can't control myself, I should think before I say those words because I don't know what is the result of what I am saying or what I am doing. Sorry for all the trouble, I promise that I will change that bad attitude of mine. Sorry my love, I promise I will be a good girl, you know that I love you so much. Please forgive me. I promise that I will make it up to you. Take care always my love, I love you so much.
Love, (Your name here)
You may also add a photo of both of you on it, and make some message about the photo and add "I miss you" on the message.
I know there are a lot of ways that you can ask for forgiveness but understand that they all say basically the same thing which is "can you please forgive me for what I have done, I'm only human and I make mistakes but I will not make another mistake again I promise" this is the basic details of asking for an apology.
How to get your boyfriend to forgive you for a fight?
You have to show that you are truly sorry about the fight and that it will not happen again. You have to recognize your contribution in that particular situation and really work on the things that you can do better in order to avoid such fight from occurring again.
Also, it would be good if you are in control of your emotions better. Men hate it when women just blow because of very petty things. A good amount of patience is important. If your boyfriend sees that you are making positive changes in your ways, he will be able to forgive you sincerely.
See more questions like this: If he forgives me for something really bad that I did, does that mean he loves me
Any idea on how can I make him forgive me? like doing stuff for him?
I cheated on him physically but not emotionally. I got drunk when we're fighting, during that night something happened to me and my Ex boyfriend. I will forever regret that in my whole life. I hate my Ex. I don't want to see him anymore. I blocked him on Facebook even deleted his numbers on my contacts. My boyfriend broke up with me 3 times because of this issue. He cannot forget what I did. How can I make him believe me that I really am sorry. I want him back. I love him so much
You have to acknowledge your mistake and accept responsibility for it. If he's willing to give you another chance, show him how much you love him by doing things that show you care. Cook something he likes, send him sweet messages, buy him something you know he might like or want, and show a general interest in how he feels. You also need to be open, since it sounds like he might be having trust issues because of your infidelity. Realize that this can take a lot of time, and it's possible that he may never fully get over the transgression. Just do your best to make it up to him and avoid any behavior that could make him think you would do it again.
Will my ex lover forgive me for going through his phone and can we be casual associates for one day?
I have been dating this guy for 20 months. However, about a year ago he had started dating another female & got into an official relationship with her & didn't tell me. I found out & we ended our situation. They continued their relationship but broke up 4 months later. He contacted me here & there during that time. After they broke up he apologized for what happened & wanted us to try again. 5 months after dating I see the same signs. I asked him repeatedly for the truth. A week ago I snooped through his phone after we came back from my sister's surprise party & found 3 different messages from other females. One of them calling him baby & planning to see him the next morning. he noticed that I went through his phone & now says he doesn't trust me anymore and we can't even be friends. After saying I'm a "joke, weak & untrustworthy". We have known each other for 12 years. He was very important to me. I apologized for what I did but I said it is so disappointing that he seems to do the same thing & lies about it, but yet wants me to be honest when I'm doing something he feels is wrong. I sent him a video showing & expressing my hurt. I tried not to cry too much in the video but I did and I sent a final text. I haven't talked to him since.
It sounds like you both have trust issues with each other, and he's obviously untrustworthy himself and interested in seeing other women. It's possible that you can be friends one day, but you'll have to get over any romantic feelings or attachments you have to make it work. Give it some time before you attempt to contact him again, so you won't seem desperate. He's most likely moving on, but it couldn't hurt to send him a text one day just to see how he's doing. If you let him know there are no hard feelings, you might be able to become friends.
I spoke about something private in his life and I feel I have lost his trust. Something he called me on about an hour after it happened?
It is not like me to speak of private stuff but in the moment I thought it would help and it just backfired. I learned my lesson on that, but how to get across, this won't happen again, cause this is not my typical way of doing things
Own up to your mistake, apologize sincerely and hope he will accept it. Tell him you will try your best never to make a mistake like that again. Have patience, as you likely offended him on a deep level, and you cannot just expect him to forgive you. If he does, make every effort not to do something like that again. It will probably take some time to rebuild the trust he had in you.
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Is it possible to get my boyfriend back?
We were in a relationship for 4 years. It wasn't the ideal relationship, but I liked it. A couple of weeks ago he saw a few texts in my Facebook profile where I was flirting with a guy. But it meant nothing to me, it all started in a period when we had broken up (again), but for no serious reason. The texts didn't have something to blame me for, no love or intimate words, just a conversation with someone I admire (singer). So, after seeing them he broke up with me. But after begging him a lot, he agreed to have some communication or see each other once in a while and see if we can work it out. Is there a possibility to get him back?
If he is still willing to see you once in a while, there is a chance he might want to get back with you if he sees that he can trust you. If you were always honest with him throughout your relationship, he might have trust issues that caused him to react that way. If you want to get him back, you cannot flirt with other guys and still expect him to stay with you. Show him that he can trust you and that you do not want anyone else. If you're not willing to do this, you should move on and save him some heartache.
He thinks I neglected him when I wasn't trying to. How do I get him back?
My fiance's mom died a couple days ago and I didn't go with him because mine died a month before and they both died of the exact same thing and I thought I could only see my mom and it comes back and things would get worse. He thinks I neglected him and I wasn't trying to. How do I get him back?
Both of you are likely in very fragile states right now, considering you each had a parent die recently. You can apologize to him and try your best to explain to him that you're still hurting from what happened to your mom and that it would have brought back too many painful memories. It is natural to feel traumatized when a parent passes away. Hopefully, he will understand in time that you did not do this to hurt him. It is probably hard for him to think clearly right now, but since he is likely in great pain, he will eventually realize how you must have felt to "relive" the situation with your mom. Let him know that you two can help each other get through these tough times together.
See more questions like this: I yelled at my boyfriend and said some very rude and insulting things
How can I get my boyfriend to sound happy again?
The problem is he is offended that I've never used his picture as a d.p. on any social network meanwhile he uses mine. he's so pissed at me, and I feel so depressed. What can I do?
If he is offended, maybe you should just use his picture to make him happy. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, however, you should make it clear to him that you don't have anything to hide regarding your relationship and explain to him why you won't use his picture. If he's sensible, he will likely understand. If not, he is insecure to get upset about something like a display picture on a social media site. If you treat him well, let him know you love him and you're not cheating on him, there's little you can do when a person is insecure. That is something he will have to work out with himself.
I hurt him by questioning his authenticity?
I'm in a long distance relationship, I hurt him by questioning his authenticity. He is angry with me and won't talk to me. I have apologized to him, but he won't let it go. How do I get him to forgive me.
Since you're in a long distance relationship, especially if you've never met one another, you have every right to question his authenticity if you felt the need to do so. It's also understandable that his feelings were hurt. One of the most difficult aspects of a long distance relationship is communicating effectively, so it's very possible for him to misunderstand your intentions and not recognize the sincerity of your apology. You should try apologizing again, and be very clear what you're sorry for. Let him know that you care about his feelings, and offer to do something to make it up to him. Realize that this won't necessarily make everything completely better, but it might help you on your way to reconciliation.
How can I get him to apologize if he accused me of something I didn't do?
Yesterday I let him know that I caught him red-handed staring at women who are changing their clothes when we go places. I know what I have seen and I'm very disappointed with him. When we arrived at our house, he asked me who I was texting. I wasn't actually texting anyone, but because I got mad at him, I didn't answer his questions when he asked me. So now he is very mad and said I had a texting mate. What should I do?
You need to sit your boyfriend down and talk about any issues you have with him, and issues he has with you. First, explain that it made you uncomfortable that he was staring at women who were changing their clothes when you went out in public. Also explain that it makes the other women feel uncomfortable, as well. When you're done explaining your side of the issue, allow him to explain his side. He will likely stop if you ask politely. After that issue is taken care of, move on to his issue -- let him explain why he asked you who you were texting, and why he got mad when you didn't answer him. Then take your turn; tell him that you were mad at him for what he did in public and that's why you didn't answer. Apologize to him and tell him that in the future you will answer his questions so he doesn't get upset. Also, tell him that you were not texting anyone, and if it makes him uncomfortable when you text people, you'll let him know who you're texting before anything is sent. After all of your issues are sorted out, tell him that your relationship means a lot to you and that you'd never do anything to hurt him, and that you'd hope the same is true with him.
How can I make him come running to my arms again after a bitter fight?
I told him painful words during the fight
During a nasty fight, it is only human to say words that are later regretted. The damaging part is that those words often wipe out all the loving words that were said before the fight. Apologize for your words and assure him that his positives in your relationship far outweigh the negative things you said in anger.
I was caught posting flirting messages on the Facebook with a girl?
Asking forgiveness to my wife having flirted in Facebook with another woman whom I don't know
Luckily you have not gone too far. You can be forgiven far easier since you don't have feelings for this person. However, forgive me for saying this, you need to smarten up. Those flirts will eventually lead into something more serious and your heart will be turned away from your wife. Once your heart is turned, to another person you will see all your wife's faults magnified and want to leave her. Your family will be utterly destroyed. Keeping your flirting in check is key. If you are bored with your in your marriage you need to read up on how to Spice up your marriage
How do I convince him that I am truly sorry so he will talk to me?
Last night he was talking about how he didn't want to put a tree up for the holidays and said he was Scrooge. So I agreed with him, and he told me that it was a backhanded comment. I explained that most men get like this during the holiday season and it was meant to be a joke towards men. He laughed it off, and our conversation kept on when I was telling him something in confidence and asked him not to repeat it to anyone, and he asked who he would tell, and I told him that he usually tells his children things like this. He then told me I made him mad and he was going home to blab to his kids and hung up on me and hasn't spoken to me since. I have apologized and took fault for my actions his response to my apology is yes you are.
Relationships, where children are involved, are tricky. When it comes to a partner's children, the other person in the relationship needs to be careful what they say about their partner's parenting and issues with their kids. It is human nature to become protective when our kids are mentioned immediately. He tells his kids everything which annoys you, and that is understandable because there is almost a lack of privacy in your relationship together. Acknowledge to him that you are sorry you offended him and ask that there be boundaries in place for what he tells his children so that you can avoid offending him in the future. There is nothing wrong with asking him to keep what you tell him in confidence, but he feels that you went too far bringing his children into the issue.
How do I get a man I met and been talking to for several weeks to talk to me again after just stop responding to his texts?
My husband died over a year ago and left me alone with a child at home. I am 40 years old. I met this man online that lives about 2 and half hour drive from me. We started texting each other every day multiple times and became very close. He wanted to come to visit me or meet on 2 occasions but I asked to wait a while longer, as we got to know each other better and he became more affectionate and I was thinking about him all the time and got very scared of being in love again. I was married at 17 and was only with my husband my entire life, married for 22 years. One day I just stopped answering his texts. I felt bad but I was scared. But after a month of not texting him or hearing from him and still thinking about him every day I was missing him so much I decided to finally text him an apology and tell him I got scared and was ready to meet him and promised not to panic again. I told him I knew what I did by just not responding or telling him anything was wrong but I felt like I had nothing to offer him in life. But that I realized how much I cared for him in this time without him and wanted to be in love just like he did and was ready to try if he would give me another chance. He has not responded to my text and it has been 24 hours. I miss him very much and can't stop thinking about him. I reread his old texts to me and he talked about me possibly relocating to be with him if things were to work out with us. He would always say very sweet things and how much he missed me. He is my age and his wife died of cancer 5 years ago and left him alone now with a little boy to raise. I want to make things back the way they were and move forward with our relationship and said so in my text.
Since you already sent him a text and explained yourself to him, there's nothing you can do but give him some time. He will need to sort out his feelings and whether or not he feels serious about you. Unfortunately, the nature of long distance relationships and the lack of intimacy can make it easier for him to just forget the situation. It's hard to tell how important he considers you since it's only just worded in text messages. Wait a few days and maybe send him one more text just to make sure. Unfortunately, if he still does not respond, there's probably little chance of a relationship with him.
I grinned with a boy at a party and my boyfriend is furious what do I do?
I am a high schooler and I went to a party the other night and grinned with a boy. I have no feelings for that boy. I don't know why I did it, it was just a bad impulse choice. My boyfriend found out before I could explain exactly what happened and he is really angry. We are hanging on by a thread right now and I have said everything I could think of to make it better but he isn't getting any better. He said he wouldn't break up with me but then he said he doesn't know. What do I do to gain his trust back and his love?
He feels insecure to overreact this way to you smiling at another boy. Build up his confidence and make him feel like he is the only boy in the world for you. In high school, we are learning about love and relationships for the first time and everyone has a learning curve when they start new things.
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Is there a way I can get him back?
Well about 6 months ago I decided to leave my boyfriend of 2 years. Our relationship started out great. He is quite a bit older than me and I sometimes got the impression that he has commitment issues. He suffers from depression so for about the final 8 or so months of our relationship things were really bad. He would break up with me and then come back over and over again. Missed birthdays Christmas. Everything really. But I love him dearly anyway. I really believe that he is the one for me. So anyway the final few months he decided that we would just be better off as friends. That's what we were I would go over to his place and watch movies and hang out just as friends. This killed me. I felt like there was something wrong with me. One day I went over he said to me that the only reason I was still in his life was that I never stopped fighting to be. This hurt. Coincidentally a customer at work asked me for my phone number that weekend. I decided to give it to him and try my best to move on. While continuing to hang out with my ex. One day he asked me what my plans were that weekend and I told him I had a date. He blew up called me every name under the sun. This shocked me because up until then it just seemed as though he wanted to get away from me. After a couple of days, he started calling and texting. Saying that he loved me and he was sorry for everything and that he didn't want to lose me. He went to a doctor and was diagnosed with some form of depression that I can't remember the name of now. He started taking medication for this. I told him no that he had hurt me too much. I went to see him and he pleaded with me but still, I felt he only wanted me because I was dating someone else. It broke my heart saying goodbye to him that night I ended up telling him I loved him. I was so messed up and afraid I'd get hurt again after months of feeling like nothing. I know it was stupid of me but what I did next was slept with this guy I had been dating for the past month. I knew immediately that I had made a mistake. I broke it off with him the next day. My ex got in touch that day and I told him what I had done. He blew up. This was last summer. But eventually, he decided that it didn't matter and that we could try to give things another go last month. I blew that too. He wanted to move in together and I wasn't sure. So he left. He cut me out of his life completely so I can't get in touch with him. We spoke a few days ago via email and he said he didn't want to see me again. I know I made a mistake and I've said everything I can to try to fix what was done. I feel like he might come back eventually but I'm afraid I could be wrong. This is a very diluted version of events. There are other things that happened to. I also blew up his phone for months instead of giving him space. He came back and left again several times.. I have tried: I've tried everything. From apologizing, Explaining. Texts, Emails, Phone calls. I went overboard.. I think it was caused by: I had trust issues, to begin with. He has commitment issues and suffers from depression as do I. I put a lot of pressure on him. He took me for granted.
Depression can be a relationship killer. You and he both made mistakes and towards the end, the relationship became toxic. Toxic relationships never really progress but instead, it is like being on a roller coaster ride that never ends. The ups and downs keep you trapped and you gave it your best but just realize that you were truthful with yourself and realized that you were not ready to move in with him. He wanted to date you again after you started dating someone else and you were not ready to move in with him so he walked away which made you want to be with him even more. The tug and pull you both felt is typical in a toxic relationship. You apologized and did everything you could to get him back and he refused. What you should do now is send him an email about how you realize that the relationship was toxic and thank him for finally ending the cycle. Focus on yourself and make sure that if you do in fact reconnect with him, that you take it very slow.
What to do? I think it's over?
I hurt him and I asked him to give me time so I can ask him for forgiveness but he refused to give me time. Finally, he just sent me a message that he has been thinking and that he thinks that it's better for us to stay friends than a couple. I called him and ask him to forgive me then he accepted but I can feel that he really didn't. He doesn't talk to me often as he used before and when he writes to me is just greeting me. That's all. Now we are not together, I traveled to the USA and he is in Poland. So the communication is difficult. I am maybe thinking that he has another woman already. Should I give up?. I have tried: I always try to talk to him as much as I can. I think it was caused by: He misunderstood me. Actually, the problem was that there was some money he was to give me before I travel so I could use it for living before I started a job in the USA. Then he sent it to her mom which is fine. But then after I asked him to raise some money from friends so he can pay them after a week when he gets his salary then he shouted at me that he would never borrow money and that he can't see any need to do so. I told him that the reason he is doing that is that he doesn't care about me. Because actually, this is my first time in the USA. So for me to come without any money was a problem. I am a student, I don't have any income but for him, as he works. So I was expecting him to help me maybe pay him after on.
Money and long distance are two major topics that end relationships. If he is unwilling to forgive you, despite all your efforts, then begin your life in the USA by seeing it as a completely fresh start in life. Unfortunately, you may feel this breakup is more difficult because all of your friends and family are back at home in Poland. Join some social groups by checking out apps like Meet Up. This app matches you with others that have your same interests. Take time to get to see your surroundings. Perhaps plan a weekend trip to another state while you are in the US. As soon as you fill your social calendar, the loss of him will be not as severe.
He may come around with more time, but don't just sit around waiting. Give him the space he requested. If he genuinely has forgiven you then you, then he will contact you again without you making all the effort of communication.
What can I do to get him back?
He is a Muslim.I'm a Christian.During his Ramadan, he got so tired and was always sleeping. Hence, our conversation switched from 200 texts a day to 2 texts a day. Before that Ramadan month, we had argued and he hurt me by being rude to me so I started feeling unwanted and I felt that he's changed. Yet, I then seek advice from his friend after our last huge fight(or break up), that friend then told me that it was a tiring period for my boyfriend I then realized that I haven't been understanding enough. but I think it's too late by then since I knew this only after the fight. During the Ramadan month, he hung out with his Two primary school female friends which I was informed to be a primary school female friend with her boyfriend along,then I saw his two female friends posted their hang out photos on Facebook(nothing was suspicious) but I was shocked and didn't get informed until I saw those posts on that day. I was mad, I sent their photos and asked him about that, he said he didn't know that the planned female friend and her boyfriend were not coming but then the two girls showed up. I was angry because he didn't try to text me for that during the hangout. I was so angry plus I was so stressed because I felt neglected during the Ramadan month and was feeling hormonal. When we started arguing, he asked for time to cool down. An hour later he just came back as if nothing has happened. This is what happens every single time we fight, I know that it was a good act for us to chill and cool down but what made me even mad was he came back to texting like nothing ever happened. I mean if we are not discussing the issues, the issues are still going to be there. I know I was too emotional and he got mad too, I threatened to break up(which I used to talk about every time our fights are too intensive). Before that, whenever I said something like this he will not agree..but this time he said to let him consider and then he came back minutes later..when I was still mad..so he assured if that I really wanted a breakup, I emotionally said yes Because I want to know if he's still cares. He agreed too. He texted me a sad face after that but I then only called him for so many times because I realized I was too mad. I regretted it immediately but he didn't pick up..I hurt him.I then begged for three days without his response, then he finally talked to me. He said that it was hurtful. I then begged him and told him that my world turned upside down since that breakup. He then came back to me for the reason of not letting me down but obviously, he wasn't healed yet.We have been together after that for one month.His attitude has changed unlike any other before.I figured this out and confronted him. He said he lost his feelings since the previous breakup.He said he needs time to consider to continue this relationship or not, so I gave us two weeks time of stop texting. He seemed happy but he admitted he missed me during the break. He was recently avoiding to talk or text me, and today is the 12th day of our relationship break. I tried to ask him if he has figured anything out during the fifth day, but he said we still got time. I think I pushed him a little during that conversation, made him want to avoid communication with me. He said he still loves me but doesn't have the feeling to get back together. He is a stubborn guy. How can I tell him that I was wrong for saying the word breakup so easily when I didn't mean it? He has been cold recently, how do I heal him? I am planning to do an art craft for him until the two weeks break has ended as he once told me that his friend's girlfriend made an art craft for his friend which makes him think that she loves his friend a lot, so I guess this is the way of mine to show him I love him so much too. I have figured out my problems and found a way to solve it but I need him to not give up too...what should I do? Should I ask his friend to talk to him? I feel like I have to talk to him and explain the reasons of me saying breakup and the mistake I have committed in order to let him have his doubts cleared just in case he is thinking in the wrong direction, should I tell him before the break? Because I Don't want him to think of break up without knowing the truths. What should I do to regain his trust and forgiveness? I have tried: I tried to get back together with him, but he got back to me just not to let me be so miserable when he hasn't gained trust in me again and forgive me by heart.So he said he lost his feelings already, I assume that he's just hurt and he said that he still loves me but don't know if he still wants this relationship. I think it was caused by: I was too dependent on him emotionally and it caused me to have that emotion during the fight. I forgot to work on myself too so that's why I got so panicked when that incident happened when I saw him going out with two girls without my knowledge. Besides, I Have loved him in a wrong way, because I didn't know how hurt was it when I threatened breakup like this. I said to breakup but it was just my way of seeing if he still wants me or cares me.I was having faith that he won't break up with me even if I said that. I expected him to understand my emotions behind the words that I have said. But I was wrong, I loved him in a wrong way. I just have to be understanding sometimes. Now I know my faults and I found a way to solve it but I'm scared if he wants to give up because I didn't act like wanting to break up. I love him so much, like so much.
You are not the first one that this has happened to! Making veiled threats and suggestions of just ending the relationship during a fight are pretty common. It is part of something called Fight or Flight. Add some manipulation to see if he really cares and you have a recipe for complete disaster.
Make the project for him that you had planned but do not expect a response back. Right now he may be confused about what to do. It is normal to miss someone that was such a big part of our life. Be careful if you do get back together that it was not just because he felt lonely without you. You both need to respect and value each other better if you have a chance at making it again in a relationship together. Tell him in a letter that you were only trying to test his love for you and that now you realize this was not the way to do it. He may still reject you, however, you will have some closure in knowing that you did all you could to mend the relationship.
I am a 20 years old girl who is dating a 28 year guy but long distance?
I have lied to my boyfriend and I want to ask for forgiveness, how should I do it?
Video chat with him so he can see your body language since you are in a long distance relationship. Depending on what the lie was, you need to become completely honest from here on out. Tell him the reasons why you felt the need to lie and then promise to not put deception back into the relationship. Long distance relationships are extremely difficult to cultivate and keep going. This is because your communication and the trust in that communication are the foundations of your relationship. Distrust creeps in easily such as if someone does not respond to a text right away. When you lie that just expounds the distrust to further areas of the relationship. Clear the air immediately with him.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Zu, Ange, Melissa Rae