Get Your Boyfriend Forgive and Love Again After You Cheated on Him

Edited by Christine dela Cruz, Alma, Eng, Njeri and 18 others

Cheating is often a deal-breaker in a relationship. Straying from your boyfriend for another breaks the bond of trust between the two of you, leaving him to deal with emotional trauma due to the betrayal, a blow to the ego and feelings of sadness, anger, and resentment. You've made a huge mistake that ruined your character, but there's still hope for reconciliation. In some cases, it is possible to mend the relationship if you're willing to change and earn his love and forgiveness.

Was this helpful? Yes | No
Christinedelacruz Heartbroken 128.jpg

Contents
Ad

Earn Your Boyfriend's Forgiveness After Cheating

If your boyfriend is choosing to stay with you after you've cheated, consider yourself lucky. You now have the opportunity to take responsibility for your actions and prove to him that you're still a worthy partner that he can trust again. You'll need to put in a lot of effort to fix the relationship, but if you can get through this together, you might end up a stronger couple.

Was this helpful? Yes | No
Sorry.jpg
  1. 1
    Own up to your mistakes
    .
    Making excuses and blaming others for your behavior might make you feel like you're justified in your actions, but your boyfriend won't see it that way. There is never a good reason to cheat, so don't try to minimize what you've done. Even if you're not getting what you need from the relationship, now is not the time to place blame.
    Advertisement
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  2. 2
    Apologize wholeheartedly
    .
    Apology.jpeg
    Offer a sincere, heartfelt apology for your actions and how they affected him. While this won't make up for your behavior, it does show that you're remorseful and that you genuinely care about his feelings.
    Advertisement
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  3. 3
    End the affair completely
    .
    If you want to work things out with your boyfriend, it's best to prevent any further damage to the relationship by cutting off all contact with the person you've had an affair with. Show your boyfriend proof that you've done this, whether you've done it by phone, text or email. Continuing to speak to or spend time with the other person only shows that you're not 100 percent dedicated to your relationship.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  4. 4
    Give him time to heal
    .
    Healing.jpeg
    While you might feel like everything is going to be OK, your boyfriend will likely need a lot of time to recover. Don't rush him, and don't get impatient if he wants to discuss the infidelity. He might seem happy and open with you one day, then avoid you the next. If he needs his space, give it to him. He will likely be sensitive to everything you say and do during this time, so be patient and prepare for this. Pushing him to get over it before he's ready will only lead to further resentment.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  5. 5
    Ask for forgiveness
    .
    If you're truly ready to change and do whatever it takes to salvage your relationship, ask him to forgive you. If he's not ready, continue your efforts to appease him, and give him as much time as he needs. It can take months for him to feel comfortable and secure enough with you to offer real forgiveness.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  6. 6
    Consider relationship counseling
    .
    Couplestherapy.jpeg
    If you're both willing to engage in couples therapy, this can be beneficial for your relationship. A therapist will guide you both through your feelings, help you get to the bottom of why you cheated and formulate a plan for you both to get through this difficult time and rebuild a healthy, trusting relationship.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No

How to Rebuild Your Relationship

Even if your boyfriend forgives your infidelity, he won't forget it. Simply going back to the way things were before won't ensure a happy, loving connection that lasts, otherwise, you probably wouldn't have cheated in the first place. You need to start fresh and create new memories to help replace the painful ones.

Was this helpful? Yes | No
  1. 1
    Get to know each other again
    .
    Chances are, when you started dating, you were very attentive and showed genuine interest in each other. Explore hobbies together, go on dates, have long talks and take notice of each other's personal feelings. Not only will this show that you value each other as individuals, it also strengthens your bond as a couple.
    Get Your Boyfriend Forgive and Love Again After You Cheated on Him 67803.jpg
    Advertisement
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  2. 2
    Work on self-improvement
    .
    Hobbies.jpg
    With the passage of time, the trials and stresses of life build upon us and it's easy to change into a less-than-ideal version of ourselves. Find out what truly makes you happy, and assess whether you're someone that you would want to spend time with. Find out what truly makes you happy, and rediscover your qualities that made your boyfriend fall in love with you in the first place. Use that knowledge to work on becoming a better, more positive version of yourself. Learn something new, read a new book, overcome your fears, take up new hobbies or old ones you gave up on, start an exercise routine or keep a journal.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  3. 3
    Lavish him with affection
    .
    Whether it is preparing his favorite foods, sending him sweet notes or texts while he's gone or buying him a special gift, don't hold back from treating him well. He deserves your love, attention, and affection.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  4. 4
    Restore your physical relationship
    .
    Hugging.jpeg
    Even if your boyfriend has forgiven you and you seem to be getting along well, it might not be easy for him to take part in more "physical" aspects of your relationship. Take things slow and don't pressure him. Just continue to be there for him and treat him well. When he feels comfortable again, he'll let you know.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
    Advertisement

Tips, Tricks & Warnings

  • Avoid spending time with people or in places that might tempt you to cheat again.
  • Let your boyfriend know where you're going and who you're with. Send him a text or call while you're out to ease any worries he might have.
    Textmessage.jpg
  • If you're not willing to put in the time, energy and patience required to rebuild the relationship, consider breaking up. It's unfair for you to expect him to stay with you and forgive if you're unwilling to take responsibility and put in the effort to change.

Questions and Answers

How long should you wait to stop talking to him and try talking to him again?

I cheated on my boyfriend 6 times and I feel guilty.. and I started taking counseling for myself and we started working it out. But honestly, it is his friends that are getting the best of him instead of trying to work it out with me.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

While there is no specific time frame for someone to heal from this type of betrayal, it can take 1 to 3 months for a person to recover enough to be ready to work on the relationship. Give him time and space, and be there when he's ready. In the meantime, don't do anything that might tempt you to cheat again. Check out the article above for tips. If you aren't willing to do that, it might be in your best interest to end the relationship.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

Will he forgive me after cheating?

There was this other guy I talked to on Skype, we would talk late. One day my boyfriend went through the chat and asked who it was, said a friend abroad and as he talked about long hours I talked to the other guy I freaked and disconnected the laptop charger.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

There is no guarantee that your boyfriend will forgive you after cheating, but there are several ways that you can encourage him to. Check out the article above to see what you can do to rebuild your relationship.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

Hi, my boyfriend asked me to find another man and due to his pressure I found someone and slept with him. Now he is mad at me and says I cheated on him?

What should I do, I need to see him and tell him what happened

Even though your boyfriend told you to find another man, cheating on him while you were still together is still wrong. You both have a lot to work on in your relationship, so please read the article above to work on repairing your relationship.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

See more questions like this: I miss him, he knows I've cheated, doesn't want anything to do with me

Will my boyfriend ever forgive me or trust me?

Well, one day my boyfriend's brother wrote to me on Facebook that he wanted to go out with me but I kept on making excuses saying ' I don't know when I can go out I'm working until 5" but I didn't want to go out with him. So my boyfriend saw the messages and he thinks I cheated on him while I didn't. He called me really bad names and everything. I was going to leave the house the day the problem happened, but he wanted me to stay and I did, but he always calls me names, ugly names.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

He is still lashing out because he is hurt. Though you did nothing wrong, he still is trying to trust you again. Give him time and he will come around if you keep proving to him that you are loyal to only him.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

See more questions like this: I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex and feel terrible about it. Will he ever forgive me and trust me again

I have cheated on my love, but I still love him. How do I get him to trust me again?

I cheated on the love of my life with someone that never even mattered. He doesn't see me the same and has shut me out, but hasn't broken up with me. How can I regain his love and trust again?

Please refer to the steps above in this VisiHow article. He has not broken up with you so you do have a good chance to regain his love and trust.

How can I get him back and forget everything in the past and let him start it all over again with me?

At the very start of our relationship, I fail to give him all of me because I just recently broke up with my ex. I didn't mean to hurt him but it just so happened that my ex kissed me on the lips. I never want to lie to him even though we are in a long distance relationship so I told him everything. Months passed by, and I know how much pain he is carrying until he's having fun with the other girls. I can't blame him for that because I'm the one who cheated first and we are in a long distance relationship. We are a year and 10 months now. Recently, I found out that he is cheating on me. Again, I can't blame him. He is still asking and begging for me. He told me that he loves me and he wants me back, but after nights of fighting, he said he had enough of me and wants to break up with me. I know he is lying. We're still getting back together but the thing is, he can't still forget what I've done. I know he loves me but I cannot get back the man that was like before. What should I do? I don't want us to be over.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

Yes, you really can blame him for cheating on you. Not once but several times. He can't forgive you after almost two years and yet that is most likely an excuse to explain away his cheating behavior. The man he was before was the man he is now, however you were getting to know him in a long distance relationship. If you and he can both look past all the cheating and agree to settle down then you have a chance.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

Can it work after cheating on him with my ex?

I just found out that my boyfriend has a baby with another girl the fourth one for that matter and only found out when the girl was in her 9th month, so I cheated on him with my ex and now we are trying to get back together.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

Well, any relationship can work if both parties are willing to put in the effort needed. Your situation is a whole lot of effort. He not only cheated but a child has come into the world and you in retaliation cheat with your ex. It really depends on you both working together to make your relationship stronger.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

How do I tell my boyfriend that I think Talking about it as much is making it worse?

He is constantly talking about it. We keep trying to go out and have a good weekend but every time we do he brings it up and we get upset and our time is ruined. I need to know how to tell him without him getting upset and thinking that I want to sweep it under the rug. I do want to talk about it but at the same time, I need some time to think about why I cheated so that I can answer his questions. It has only been 1 week and I haven't had time to figure things out and he thinks that I'm not trying when I am. I love him I want this to work. Can you help me?

Was this helpful? Yes | No

Give it time. This was a recent wound to your relationship and like physical wounds, the scab needs to fall off before new skin appears. He is asking for information which he needs for his healing process and you need to evaluate why you cheated on him. Give him answers and let him bring it up as many times as he wants until he is over everything and trusts you again.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

What words must I tell him to forgive me?

I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex boyfriend, when he found out I first denied and today I am asking forgiveness

You have made the first step and owned up to the cheating. Use the steps in this VisiHow article to work on getting him to forgive you.

I cheated on him 5 years ago and we are still dealing with it, we have a 2 year old son and he's in the middle of it all?

I thought my boyfriend was trying to get back with his ex but I made the biggest mistake by sleeping with my ex and now we would be happy at one point and then we would go back to this dark place. He said he would never forgive me and we should go our separate ways but we have a 2 years old son and I just want to make our family whole again.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

Both people need to want to be in the relationship. He has asked for a separation and perhaps he needs that to fully heal from the past.

He didn't believe because I am out of the country?

Because I am out of the country and he thinks I am not myself?

A lot of times when someone is accusing you of cheating, they are guilty of cheating instead and projecting that guilt onto their spouse. He needs to trust you for things to work.

Getting my husband back after breaking up for one month?

We got married and that night after the wedding he took my phone to read all my messages and he found that I had abused his mom in a message with my sister. He says he saw a photo in which I had gone with my friend to meet a certain guy who had requested me and my friend to go for dinner. Then it got too late and we went to his place and spent the night there. The following day we took photos with my friend and him then I sent them to my sister telling him I don't like that man. He got so mad at me and he said he can't forgive me after reading messages himself and he saw nothing I did with that man. I have written so many apology messages and he never took them positively and I have tried passing my apology to his best friends and he is not willing to forgive. I love him so much such that I can't date any other man. We have been together for 6 years and we meet when I was 21 years old and he was 35 years old. He was divorced with two kids. We have been so close though our relationship even though there was distance because he lived in Europe I lived Africa. I have never cheated on him and I have been so faithful to him. Our problem started last year after he joined a school and he started saying that he regrets marrying a woman who is not of his class because he is an undergraduate and he is pursuing his masters and I have a high school diploma. He started accusing me of so many things and I was asking him where all that was coming from but he could not explain to me. He started saying I was rude and after pleading him to explain he refused after some time he started keeping quite for a week. During this time he was commenting funny comment to ladies on Facebook and I felt so down since I love him. I know I need your help. I have tried: I have apologized to him and I have gone to his best friend and told them to tell him am so sorry and am sure I have changed and I won't repeat that mistake again and I love him so much. I think it was caused by: He was very abusive then I abused him indirectly by speaking to my sister.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

Sounds like he is very insecure. He made a commitment to you so remind him that he needs to honor that commitment as you have honored it. He was aware of your educational status when he married you and he is the one that is actually beneath standards with that attitude. He seems to be carrying a lot of baggage from his previous marriage that perhaps he hasn't dealt with. In fact, you may have been the rebound which he did not realize when he married you. Now he seems to be looking for any excuse to get rid of you.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

How to fix this situation with my boyfriend being upset with me?

I have cheated on boyfriend physically once, a year ago, and I have talked to other boys. He knows about all of them. In each conversation and argument, I start to shut down. I have told him over and over that I will do things better and different and each time when the conversation starts and when time comes to do things differently, I relapse and do things all the same so he doesn't trust me on my word or actions, to me it is hard to prove anything if he doesn't believe me but I don't expect him to believe me after what I have done to him but I love him and I want things to work out this time. Things were going well until the other day, I got a notification from Twitter that an ex-boyfriend followed me back on twitter, I am almost never on twitter. Regardless, he got upset, I unfollowed and blocked him on Twitter but it wasn't enough for him to be happy. When I told him that I did, to make sure he knew it, he said 'my friends are my friends' and he hasn't wanted to see me or talk to me since this was one Wednesday night. I love him and I have messed up time and time again and I cannot get it right but I want to be with him so badly and I just love him a lot. He is a great guy and a great boyfriend. He has always believed in me and I have always let him down and I don't know how to make him not upset with me anymore. I have tried: Within the two years of being together, I haven't ventured out much other than verbal reassurance and arguing until I get my way. This time, I have gone through my social media and unfollowed a lot of people, he is unaware of that because I just did it today and he hasn't talked to me other than saying that I can't come over. I have told him over and over that, I will change and do things differently like trust what he says his emotions are, or say how to fix the conversation, or truly take his advice. I am just constantly telling him how I will do things better and I have not yet but this time I tried to think about a conversation and I tried to come over and talk to him but typically every other time I have tried that, it ended badly so he didn't let me this time and I really want to patch it up and have us make amends about the situation..... I think it was caused by: Well, first the cheating, then the lying about it. I have constantly told him all of these promises and I have never gone through with them and now he doesn't trust me or my word because I haven't been able to do things I have said before. He says I act like a victim constantly in any situation and I act like a child too, I have said I will fix this but then I don't know how. it boils down to me saying things and doing the opposite so he can't trust me or my word.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

He never really had an opportunity to gain trust with you. Wait a week and if he does not contact you, send him a message saying you miss him and want to work on things because he means everything to you.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

I regret cheating on my boyfriend, but after 1 year and a half, he still hasn't forgiven me or stopped bringing it up, is there hope?

To start I am a recovering addict, and the time I cheated on him happened to be the lowest worst part of my life/addiction. He had gotten kicked out of my house and I had gotten high with my ex (my oldest daughters father) and one bad decision after another I had slept with him. (My boyfriend has been there for my ex's kid since she was a baby, and we have a 3 years old daughter together also) I felt so bad and after deciding to get clean and try and turn my life around I confessed to my boyfriend. Well, he freaked of course, badly. I am sorry and love him so much, I don't do anything sneaky, he can go through my messages and texts I have nothing to hide now. But after so long he still brings it up after every little fight and throws it in my face when something irrelevant happens. He looks at me with hate in his eyes. I'm scared he may never forgive me. He says he loves me, but he thinks I don't show him I'm sorry and that I appreciate him. I am so confused..... I have tried: Apologizing. crying. writing him letters. Having threesomes couple times to make it up to him. talking about it. I'm not the best at expressing emotions, I guess it is why he doesn't think I'm sincere and really sorry and that I do appreciate and love him.. I think it was caused by: We were both strung out and in dark place when I cheated, we were fighting a lot and I was unhappy. Things have gotten better but he can't leave the past in the past....keeps bringing it up

Was this helpful? Yes | No

One of the steps in addiction recovery is to own your mistakes and ask for amends. Do not make the excuse of it was a bad time. Do not make any excuses. Own up to what you did and sincerely ask for forgiveness. He has stuck with you and hopefully, once you own up he will begin to forgive.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

See more questions like this: How can I win my boyfriend back after cheating on him

Hello, how can I get him to talk to me?

I fell in love last year with my Ex boyfriend. We were totally in love when my Ex stopped by my house unannounced. He thinks I cheated on him and refuses to speak to me. Now he has even blocked me from his phone.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

You need to wait until he is receptive to hear from you again. Forcing the conversation will cause him to be defensive and shut down. Write him a letter and send it to him stating all the ways you need him in your life and how you would never cheat on him. Hopefully, he will read the letter.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

I have a boyfriend, I can't tell him the truth, I've been married before because he told me if he found that I'm already married he will leave me, what am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to do, can you give me advice?

Well if you want to marry him in the future you will have to show proof that your previous marriage was officially ended. Better to tell the truth now rather than later.

Hi, it has been a month since we broke up and had a very serious fight and now he only talks to me as a human, will my relation patch up or it is ended? He never talks to me first he only replies when I message or WhatsApp him?

We broke up and I want him to be back in my life, how should I do It? I have tried: Called him, cried a lot, fought with him and now ended as we will be good friends.. I think it was caused by: I used to fight a lot with him just because he never gave time to me. Some people are just meant to be friends and not in a romantic relationship. Since he wants to be friends with you, hopefully, you can be in a romantic relationship again in the future.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

How do I handle being away from him?

My problem is I have a boyfriend and we ran away together and now he is in jail and I am in foster care and the last thing he said to me right before he went to jail was please don't forget me what do I do... I feel like we are falling apart and I feel like he won't love me and I feel like he has forgotten about me

Was this helpful? Yes | No

As a foster child, you already have issues of abandonment whether you realize it or not. This is not a situation that you will be stuck with. Instead, work on yourself. Begin plans for the future that are about you being in a solid position for the best life possible. Your boyfriend made bad decisions that resulted in his incarceration. Unfortunately, there is a high incarceration rate for people who were part of the foster care system. Make sure that you are not one of them. Start discerning who you should be hanging out with because you are worthy of the best. Be happy that you did not end up in prison as his accomplice and take this chance to give you a wake up call.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

Girls have no rights and never get a second chance then you all people backbiting for her past?

I had lots of friends; boyfriends, but now I want to live my life with him but people are talking about my past which affects our relationship, how to say to my life partner sorry to love me again and forgive my past.. I have tried: I want to make our relationship stronger, so no one can effect. I think it was caused by: I want to say sorry for my past, get upset him The only thing that matters in your relationship is what he thinks of you and not what others think. Whatever you did was in the past before him so there is nothing to apologize for. If he loves you, your past before him will not matter.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

How do we get back to the place we were in before this happened?

A while back, when my boyfriend and I were arguing badly and were on and off for a while, I flirted with another guy multiple times and my boyfriend found out about this, and there is no trust there. He has met up with some friends and I told him how scared I was about the girls there and he said I cannot be scared because I cheated, we keep arguing and I don't know what to do.. I have tried: Talking it through calmly, meeting up more to spend more time together, going on a break. I think it was caused by: He has depression, I have anxiety. A lot of previous bad things happened before this which drove me to lean on another guy

Was this helpful? Yes | No

You emotionally leaned on another guy, For this relationship to go back to being happy, you need to determine what brought you to that other guy. Repair those issues in the relationship and then begin the rebuilding of trust between you two. Keep in mind, that this relationship will never really be the same but if you can both work through this, you will have a much stronger relationship.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

How to get my ex to want me back?

I cheated on my ex, he found out, but I really do love him a lot. He said he feels hurt a lot by what I did, he does love me a lot too. He messaged me saying how hurt he felt, but he said it is too late, the damage is done. I really do want him back, what shall I do?. I have tried: I tried to explain that I still love him, I keep apologizing to him, but he said he won't believe me anymore. I told him I will give him time to move on. I think it was caused by: He didn't give me the attention I wanted. I did travel with my guy friend before and he did suspect I went out with guy

Was this helpful? Yes | No

If he was not giving you the attention that you needed at the time, then this relationship was not meant to be. You cheated on him and then told him that you will give him time to move on so you need to do exactly that. Stop all communication with him. Breaking up with someone you love is brutal. Those emotions need to heal before you contact him again. Your betrayal of his trust made this break up possibly irreversible but you will not know until you give him some space to sort out all his feelings.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

So my ex said there is no chance for us to get back together, even though we hooked up a few times prior to him saying that. I hit NC about 2 weeks ago. Do I have a chance?

We were together 4 years, since 2012 the year I graduated. We had our ups and downs, we both were jealous, we lived together for about 3 years. I began to feel ignored and neglected because he would always say the physical part of the relationship wasn't that important, and I felt it was. I would cry myself to sleep a lot. He stopped being there for me, and stopped putting effort, but swore he still loved me. Long story short. I met someone at work, and found them on Facebook and started a Facebook messenger affair over the course of 4 months or so and the ex went behind my back and found out the day after Christmas last year. I moved out within a matter of 3 weeks, while I was still there we hooked up twice. and after I moved, he came over twice and we hooked up. One weekend he went to visit some friends, and I feel they got inside his head because when he came back he was singing a completely different tune and wanted nothing to do with me. This was just a couple of weeks ago that I saw him last. He mentioned that through my social media it looked like I was having loads of fun, and out of anger I told him if we aren't getting back together. I guess I can go out on the dates these men are asking me on. (that felt like a mistake) I shouldn't have told him that. I've been on 2 or 3 dates so far but I don't even want these other guys. Just passing the time and trying to heal. What do you suggest? I mean this guy and I was planning a future together. So I have blocked him from all social media, hoping he will miss me. Well, this guy and I had been friends since high-school when I was dating someone else, so that is 11 years of friendship, including 4 years of a relationship.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

You have an 11 year history with him. What you should do is tell him that you went on a few dates and realized that he is the one you are supposed to be with once and for all. He may not accept this but you need to say this to him for at the very least, closure. You were wrong to start an emotional affair with a co worker, Make sure that you apologize for that transgression and mean it. Do not make any excuses for it. Then explain to him that the statements you made on social media were out of anger. Since you blocked him from social media, show up in person at his apartment. Have a written letter to hand to him or slip under the door in case he does not answer your knocks. If you are not courageous enough right now to face him, write a letter and arrange for it to be delivered with his favorite pizza or other delivery meal. If you do this, do not expect a response or message him trying to get one. Leave the ball in his court as to how and when he contacts you back. This will give him a feeling of control in the situation.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please post in the comments section below.

Comments

VisiHow welcomes all comments. If you do not want to be anonymous, register or log in. It is free.

Article Info

Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Aurora1111, Doug Collins, aanyiel675

Share this Article:

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 135,455 times.