Flirt with Him Using Just Your Eyes

Edited by Kathy McGraw, Eng

You're enjoying an evening out with your friends when a very attractive man walks by your table and slides up to the bar. He glances around the room and you briefly catch his gaze for a moment; his eyes smoulder at you and your breath hitches in your chest. He's gorgeous, and he's looking at you. Beside you, your friends are giggling as they nudge you playfully and egg you on. In this article, we explain how you can tell him that you fancy him with just your eyes.

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Setting the Stage for Attraction

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The man of your dreams, or at least the hottie of the night might be waiting for you at the restaurant or bar you're going out to tonight, so get those eyes ready to do some work before you leave the house.

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  1. 1
    Wear red
    .
    A scientific study out of the University of Rochester shows that men perceive women as more attractive in red. The participants were shown photographs of women, some of which had plain backgrounds, while others had red backgrounds. The participants consistently rated the women photographed on red backgrounds as more attractive.
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  2. 2
    Wear eye makeup
    .
    Specifically, wear eyeliner and mascara to bring attention to your eyes; however, make sure that the brand of mascara you use does not clump on your eyelashes. If you do end up with clumpy lashes, use an eyelash comb or a Q-tip to brush them away.
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  3. 3
    Go out with a group of friends
    .
    Studies show that men find women more attractive in the company of other women, especially attractive ones. Another reason for going out with friends is for safety: you are less likely to be victimized if you are with other people than alone.
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  4. 4
    Make sure he can see you
    .
    It will do no good for you send smoking-hot glances his way if he can't see them. When you spot your quarry, get into his line of sight. Try to get in front of him, or just off to one side of him. For instance, if he's seated at the bar, you should find a seat a few stools down from him, or if he is sitting at a table, make sure you're seated facing him.
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Subtle Signals

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Men find it easier to approach women who give them flirty looks and will, therefore, be more likely to talk to you if you share your interest in them first. It's easy to surmise why: it boosts their confidence that they won't be rejected; no one likes getting shot down, and since guys are still expected to make the first move, it takes some of the pressure off them.

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  1. 1
    Make eye contact with him
    .
    Meet his gaze and hold it three seconds, then look away. Repeat this three times in a ten minute period. He could misinterpret a single glance as your eyes accidentally catching his, but doing it a second, then a third time is a sure way to let him know that you're interested in getting to know him further.
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  2. 2
    Blink a few times while looking at him
    .
    Also known as batting or fluttering your eyelashes, this sign of attraction is caused by the increased secretion of fluid in your eyes when you're aroused. It's down to biology and sends a clear signal that you like what you see.
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  3. 3
    Watch him out of the corner of your eye
    .
    Not only is this a good way to surreptitiously keep an eye on your quarry, but the corner eye-glance is also a way to appear coy and demure while signaling availability. It engages his lizard brain and pushes him to take up the pursuit.
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  4. 4
    Do the four and a half second scan
    .
    Catch his eye and subtly trace the features of his face, letting your gaze return to his eyes. Finally, catch and hold his gaze, then look away. The entire process should take four and a half seconds, give or take a second.
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Stepping Up Your Game

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Is he consistently looking back at you, but still unsure whether or not he should approach you? It's time to let your eye-flirting get more overt. Some guys are dense and need you hit them over the head before they pick up what you're throwing down in front of them.

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  1. 1
    Gaze at him from underneath lowered eyelashes
    .
    While he is watching you, lift your chin and tip your head to one side while dropping your lids so that your lashes half-cover your eyes. Allow one corner of your mouth to quirk up in a smirk. If his eyes widen or he smirks back, you've got him.
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  2. 2
    Deepen the triangle of your gaze
    .
    When we are talking with friends or business associates, our eyes travel in a triangle from one eye to the other, then down to the mouth, and back up to the eyes again. When we are sexually interested in someone, the triangle's point heads further south to include other areas of the body. Let your gaze travel down and linger on his chest and hip areas before sliding back up to his face.
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  3. 3
    Do the slide and settle
    .
    Catch your man's eyes, then let your eyes slide slowly away to the side. This is another coy move that engages his lizard brain and encourages him to come after you.
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  4. 4
    Smile at him with your eyes
    .
    A genuine smile involves more than just the mouth: let your smile crinkle the corners of your eyes and disarm him with your pearly whites and the sparkle in your gaze.
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Closing the Deal

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If he hasn't already walked over to you and started a conversation by now, it's time to bring out the big guns: the moves that let him know, in no uncertain terms, that you are attracted to him.

  1. 1
    Wink at him
    .
    Women can get away with winks because it's cute when we do it. So, go ahead and wink at him; make it slow and deliberate and pair it with a sassy grin, and perhaps a raised brow.
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  2. 2
    Do the body scan
    .
    Make sure he is watching you, then let your gaze trace the lines of his body from head to toe. There is no other way to interpret such a look as anything other than indicating attraction.
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  3. 3
    Give him the once-over
    .
    An even more overt form of the above, lock your eyes on his, then slide them slowly down to his hip area then back up, where you'll meet his gaze again.Then tilt your head to the side and back or toss your hair in a sort of "come hither" motion.
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  4. 4
    Lock your eyes on his
    .
    Like you did earlier, catch his gaze, but instead of looking away after three to five seconds, hold it for seven or eight seconds. Such direct eye-contact indicates either a challenge or frank sexual attraction. If he doesn't get the point by now, then he is either too dense, or not interested.
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Signs He's Attracted to You

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Let's be honest: guys can be difficult to read sometimes. If you aren't sure that he's into you, here are some body language signals that he finds you attractive.

  1. 1
    His eyebrows go up and down as you two share a look
    .
    Known as the eyebrow flash, this movement is an unconscious gesture of interest that happens even before he realizes he's attracted.
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  2. 2
    His pupils are blown
    .
    When a guy is sexually aroused, his pupils dilate and get very large. He can't control this response, so you know it's genuine.
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  3. 3
    When he smiles, he shows his teeth
    .
    As men get older, they tend to smile less frequently, and when they do, they rarely show their teeth. A wide, toothy grin, especially one that travels to the eyes, indicates real happiness and enjoyment.
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  4. 4
    His nostrils flare
    .
    His nostrils widen as if he is trying to smell something. We're not sure if he's trying to pick up the scent of your pheromones, but it is yet another unconscious signal he is interested.
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  5. 5
    He returns your gaze
    .
    When you look at him, he looks right back at you. He's showing you that he returns you interest.
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  6. 6
    He licks his lips, opens and closes his mouth, or swallows
    .
    Another physiologic response to sexual attraction is that the mouth produces more saliva, so if he is doing any of the preceding, then you can be sure that he is attracted to you.
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  7. 7
    He finds reasons to touch you
    .
    If he comes up to you and reaches over to touch your arm, or brushes at your hair, then he is quite into you, and comfortable enough with you to do so. He wouldn't risk touching a woman otherwise, for fear of being perceived as a creeper.
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  8. 8
    His feet point toward you
    .
    Having his feet pointed toward you indicate his engagement with you and the fact that he is feeling comfortable where he is, and with his present company.
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  9. 9
    He fusses with his hair
    .
    Trying to make himself more attractive, he runs a hand over his coiffure. He may also fiddle with his shirt or coat.
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If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.

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Article Info

Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Kathy McGraw

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