Find Out if a Guy Is Already Taken

Edited by Vanessa Alexandra Avisado, Anonymous, Lynn, Doug Collins and 1 other

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Finding that perfect guy can be quite challenging. If you are lucky enough to meet someone you really connect with, you need to know first if he is already taken.

The trouble is, if you have attracted a serial cheater and he does not have any plans of telling the truth - that he's either married (with kids), is engaged, or is in a long-term relationship - then it is embedded in his system and he simply cannot resist the urge to have more than one item on his plate.

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So here are some tips and tell-tale signs to find out if a guy's already taken:

  1. 1
    He never, ever calls from home.
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    You can only reach him during working hours, because he can't spare the time during weekend. Then, if he does get in touch with you while he's at home, it's only through text messages, and never via voice calls. That's kind of creepy, don't you think? It's either his wife's watching him like a hawk because she has memorized his ways by now, or he's with his long-time girl who he doesn't have the guts to break off with. When this happens to you, find the nearest exit and scamper off!
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  2. 2
    It takes forever before he responds to your calls or text messages.
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    This only means one thing: Somebody's watching! He can't risk talking to you within earshot of his girlfriend without sounding suspicious, so he'd rather postpone it until he's absolutely sure he won't get caught.
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  3. 3
    He refuses to give you his exact address.
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    It may be that he's terrified at the thought of you popping in out of nowhere, you know, as a surprise. If you did, it may be you who gets the shock of your life when his wife is the one who opens the front door.
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  4. 4
    You never get introduced to his family and friends.
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    If you've been going out for some time now, say, a couple of months, don't you think you ought to have met some of his family or friends, by now? If he hasn't, he may be avoiding this on purpose because he cannot introduce you as his girlfriend when he already has a girlfriend, or a wife, back home. Consequently, he also does not want you to introduce him to your family and friends, for the same reason, of course. You may find that you're making excuses for him every time those close to you ask about him. You may tell them that he's currently out of town, on business travel, or simply too busy at work to make time. If you've been doing this too long, they may start to think you have a make-believe boyfriend.
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  5. 5
    He won't spend the night with you.
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    Yes, intimacy is there, but he simply refuses to stay overnight. After a while, this can only mean one thing: His wife won't go to sleep unless her husband is home safe and sound. He may come up with a bunch of excuses, like he's not comfortable if he's not sleeping in his own bed, he gets restless in unfamiliar places, etc. Girl, you need to get the message by now!
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  6. 6
    He freaks out when he thinks you're about to go through his phone.
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    Yes, some things are meant to be kept private, but there's no need to overreact if you have nothing to hide. Transparency is still the key to a healthy, enduring relationship. Think about how long he's been acting shady and how long you're willing to play along. The thing is, it's not likely he'll come clean if he knows you'll still buy everything he's selling you.
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  7. 7
    He loves taking you on "remote, romantic getaways".
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    You know, he will take you to places a zillion miles away from home, just the two of you, without fear of anybody recognizing you. Far away, you can do what you want freely, without any restrictions. Come off it, girl! He's taking you to those places because he can't flaunt you anywhere back home! He's too scared somebody from work or a family friend may see him with another woman - you!
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  8. 8
    He doesn't want the photos of the two of you to be posted and uploaded in social media.
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    Hello? Can it get any clearer than that?
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When you have spotted all these tell-tale signs in your guy, it's up to you whether you want to still go along with it and play dumb. If you have confronted him and he denies this to death, ask for proof. Make him introduce you to your family and friends, make him take you to his house and to his office, make him stay overnight at your place, make him call you and talk to you, even during the wee hours of the morning. If he cannot do these things, walk away.

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Dealing with the heartbreak

Even if you've finally summoned the courage to do the right thing and leave him be, that doesn't change the fact that it hurts you deeply. Unless you were never really in love with him, you'll most likely have a rough road ahead of you. Here are some tips on how you can come out of this stronger, braver, smarter, and better than ever:

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  1. 1
    Make yourself productive.
    As the saying goes, "An idle mind is the devil's workshop". Depression, desperation, anxiety, anger, and suicidal thoughts can be quite common during these times. Do not allow yourself to go through this. The easiest way to get trapped in this rut is to NOT keep yourself busy and productive. Whether it's work, a new hobby, working out at the gym, doing something new, fun, and exciting, anything to prevent you from moping and drowning in self pity - do it!
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  2. 2
    Surround yourself with a support group.
    This is the time when you need to be surrounded by the people you love and who love you in return. Keep your family and friends close by your side. There are people who refuse to do this because of pride, because they don't want to be thought of as weak or insecure, but then again, that's completely ridiculous. It's perfectly okay to be afraid, or lonely, or insecure. These emotions are part of what makes you a human being in the first place.
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  3. 3
    Look your gorgeous best.
    This traumatic experience can have a heavy impact on your self-esteem, so make sure you only see a gorgeous-looking girl every time you're in front of the mirror. Get your hair done, shop for some new clothes and killer shoes, and smell like a million bucks! Of course you don't have to break the bank to do this; there are lots of frugal ways to look like a million bucks for less (but that will be tackled in a separate article).
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TIPS for Moving on - For Good

  1. 1
    When he begs to come back, stand your ground.
    You don't deserve to be treated like dirt. Even if he does break up with his girlfriend to be with you, what guarantee do you have that he won't cheat on you with another girl? That's the thing with love and trust - once it's broken, it's hard to get them back to their "natural" state.
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  2. 2
    Don't rush into another relationship too soon.
    It's alright to meet people and go on dates, but you have to make it clear that you need to take things slowly. If you don't, you'll only end up hurting the next guy you're with because you will only be on the "rebound". It's not fair for either one of you. Make sure you're fully recovered before you dive into another relationship.
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  3. 3
    Learn your lesson well.
    Remember what you've been through - not to bring up the hurt time and time again, but for it to serve as an important lesson. Remember all the tell-tale signs, and if you see them again, run as fast as you can.
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It will take some time, but once you learn to read the signs, you'll become an expert and it will be easy for you to find out if a guy's already taken. Be smart in love and life, because you deserve nothing but the best. Good luck.

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Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Doug Collins, Lynn, Anonymous

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