Explain to your child the meaning of divorce
Edited by Ryan, Lynn, Maria, vc and 1 other
The rate of divorce is not getting lower. In this era, it seems like some people see relationships like simple appliances -- if it's broken then you just replace it, and preferably with a better one. Of course, some people decide to go their separate ways because they can no longer work as a team. People who decide to divorce have often already sought the help of a marriage counselor in order to fix their issues. But when two people, especially a married couple, are no longer happy together, sometimes it's best if they go their separate ways, being mature enough to start over on their own."
"Unfortunately, sometimes they're not, and the worst comes out. The conflict of separation or divorce then becomes much more complicated. This is especially true when the lives of others are involved. Children are particularly vulnerable to this, as they lack the experience or perspective to understand and accept that the changes occurring around them are beyond their control. When even grown adults can't behave in a mature manner, children are certain to have difficulty accepting what's happening.
"In this article you will find some insight on how to explain to your child the meaning of divorce and how it will affect their lives as a children of separated parents. The article also includes some examples on how children may react and how, as a parent, you can deal with these negative reactions. Children should not be treated as outcasts when it comes to this kind of topic. Children must be always updated and know the truth on what's happening to their lives. Divorce should not be the reason to make life complicated and treat children differently than normal simply because they are a product of broken family."
Frequently asked questions of children of divorce
- 1"Mom, are you and Dad already separated?" What will your answer be?You can't definitely deny the fact that one of you is no longer going to be present at home. In this scenario, telling the child that her mom or dad is no longer living with them is much better than creating a fantasy land in your child's mind where your family is still intact. Giving them false hope by misrepresenting the situation, or avoiding answering the question may also mislead them and bring negative interpretation for their parents action. Tell your child that, even if one of you is not physically at home, they still have a mom and dad who love them and will look after them. Stop giving them an everyday expectation that the spouse who left the house will come home at night. Don't give them excuses like, "Your dad is out of town for a couple of months for his job." Creating a lie is a big "no-no" if you want your child to understand your situation.Advertisement
- 2"If you are separated or divorced, does it mean you don't love me anymore?" This is another question that a child might ask, and even if they don't say it out loud, they will need a great deal of reassurance from you.They will have feelings that they are not good enough as a child to both of you, and that's why you decided to separate ways. Explain to them that it has nothing to do with them. It is a problem that you and your spouse needs to resolve, but only a separation can solve the problem. Tell your child that a parent's love will never end, even if your relationship with your spouse is already over.Advertisement
- 3"Where is dad/mom going to stay?" Can I go with him/her?" If the court mandated the custody to one of you, you just need to tell your child that one of you will get a separate house and they will have regular visits with both of their parents.Tell them that they will still get the same quality time, but just in a different arrangement. They also need to know that holidays and special occasions will be different as well, but they will still get presents and time from both of you. The most important thing is to make sure your children do not feel that they are being left behind by either of you.Advertisement
- If you have problems with any of these steps, ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.
Categories : Family
Recent edits by: vc, Maria, Lynn