Exit a Conversation Without Being Rude

Edited by Vanessa Alexandra Avisado, Eng, Lynn, Donna and 1 other

You're trapped in a group conversation at your parent's wedding anniversary party. Some of your nosy relatives are grilling you about your private life, something you have no plans of sharing with anyone, let alone with people who thrive on gossip. You're starting to get anxious, your palms are getting sweaty, and then you remember the techniques used to exit a conversation without being rude.

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  1. 1
    Try switching to another topic.
    If you really don't have any intentions of leaving, but merely want divert their attention to something or someone else other than you, then try switching to another topic that might be of great interest to them. For example, if it's your aunt and uncle grilling you about your love life, try this: "Hi,, by the way uncle Bob, how would your romantic cruise go? I bet it was an amazing two weeks, the two of you finally finding some time off from your busy schedules?" If the two of them had a blast, they won't stop talking about it and you'll find it easier to ease your way out of the conversation, especially if there are other interested people listening and chiming in as well.
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  2. 2
    Politely excuse yourself and tell them you need to be someplace else.
    The "I need to use the restroom" line always works wonders, because then, you can really go away briefly, even if you don't need to, gather your wits, and go out and find refuge with another group of people, maybe even some you really want to be with. If you have no plans of coming back, don't use the "Hi,, I'll just get something to drink", because they may even ask you to get them drinks as well, so then you're obliged to return and deal with that dreadful conversation all over again.
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  3. 3
    Find a way to shorten the conversation.
    Don't make any comments, don't ask any questions, don't add anything that will lengthen the already uncomfortable situation. If the questions are directed at you and you're ill at ease discussing them, like your marriage plans, when do you really plan to settle down, etc., just jokingly say you haven't made any concrete plans yet but you'll let them know soon as you do.
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  4. 4
    Introduce someone new.
    However, be sure the poor fellow is ready to take the punches, without being annoyed to death. It's will be helpful if he's a good friend of yours, preferably one who's already been briefed about "certain members of the family" so he'll be ready and willing to deal with them. Make sure he's a good sport or he may never want to speak with you again!
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  5. 5
    Be prepared with "emergency exits".
    A soldier never goes to war unprepared, so be sure your "buddy" tags along with you in case you need some emergency rescuing. Prior to the party, tell him what it's going to be like and agree on the body language, hand or facial signals you're going to use to let him know it's time for him to step in and drag you out of there. Make sure it doesn't look obvious that you're just looking for a way out, like when he approaches you and tells everyone he wants you to meet somebody, he better be ready with that somebody he's going to introduce you to.
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  6. 6
    If worse comes to worst, say goodbye in the nicest way possible.
    Some people can be so dense that they just don't get it
    Other times they can be so rude (especially when they've already had one drink too many) that they simply won't drop it. When this happens to you and you are left with no choice, just say goodbye in the nicest way possible. "Hi, uncle Bob, it was really great seeing you again. Hope we can meet up some other time, but right now I really have to go."
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Nice, but if the tables turn, what do you do when the time has come to plan your wedding and you need to discuss it with your families? Say your mom wants the reception at their country club, while your future father in-law wants it to be held in that fancy restaurant he owns? Maybe you and your fiancé want it to be at the romantic beach resort where the two of you first met. The discussion will likely begin to get a little out of hand. How do you end the conversation or have the last say without being rude?

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TIPS on How to Have Grace Under Pressure:

  1. 1
    Decide to be a united front.
    Planning a wedding has the tendency of pitting people against each other, especially those you love and care about the most. So make sure you decide certain aspects of your wedding first, just the two of you, before discussing it with both your parents or the rest of your family. Even if your parents are going to shoulder the cost of the wedding, that does not give them the right to bully you into agreeing to every decision they make.
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  2. 2
    Fine tune the interference.
    Determine beforehand the things that are important to you. A vintage dress? Yeah! A great R&B band? Whatever. Then discuss with your parents which of the aspects of the wedding they really want to have a say on. If they're helping with the bill, don't make them pay for everything, just specific items like the food and the band, so you will still have some control. Or maybe you can agree to take care of the ceremony and it's up to them to go all out and crazy with the reception to follow. Just stay sane by remembering the fact that you'll be able to do anything you want to do - after the wedding.
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  3. 3
    Know where your loyalty lies.
    That is supposed to be with each other. Don't try to appease your family at the expense of your loved ones. It's your duty to protect each other - never reveal a confidence, expose insecurities, or plan something that you know is in direct conflict with those of your fiancé.
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Knowing how to exit a conversation without being rude can be a bit of a challenge, but it can be doubly hard when it involves your own kin. At a time when common courtesy is no longer that common, you need to learn to deal with situations with tact and grace, keeping solid composure amid the discomfort of dealing with difficult, inconsiderate, and sometimes downright rude individuals. Blow off steam somewhere else, avoid making a scene, and manage a graceful exit as often as you can. Otherwise, you're no different from these people you despise.

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Questions and Answers

How can I exit a text conversation without being rude?

How can I get out of a text conversation without it seeming awkward or abrupt.. I have tried: I say good-bye but it seems abrupt or rude.. I think it was caused by: I am very busy and do not have time to prolong the exit out of the text conversation.

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The best option would be end the conversation without answering sometimes. However, you can write that you are preoccupied with something that cannot be deferred. Depending on whether the previous messages were short or long, you could send a message reading either semi-jocular "Now, my work awaits! I apologize, but I have to disappear!" or "If you will excuse me, let me send you a message as soon as I am available. I have to finish my work on [write the basic outline of the preoccupation so that your partner knows that you care about him or her]".

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Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Donna, Lynn, Eng

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