Detect/handle dishonesty when on a date

Edited by Ephraim, Charmed, Eng, Alma and 3 others

Dating alone is very difficult at times and meeting a dishonest person without knowing can turn your day from good to worse. A lot of times a person on the date will tell lies or stretch the truth to make them seem better than what they are naturally, but there are signs that can be noticed when someone is doing this on a date. Taking these steps will help you in order to detect dishonesty in your date before you end up in a relationship with the wrong person.

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    Inspect your dates eyes for the eyes can tell a lot about a person when on the date for their eyes will tell on them depending on whether they are lying or not.
    When doing this ensure that you are not staring a hole in their head for they will notice and also look away which may not be a sign of dishonesty but shyness. As with everything else when a person is being dishonest they will have a very hard time looking a person in the eye when speaking to them so if your date is having a very hard time looking you in the eye when they are telling you something then chances are they are being dishonest with their statement they are making to you at the time during the date. Also aside from them not looking you in the eyes they will also blink more than usual this mean that they are thinking really hard about what they are telling you meaning they are either exaggerating the story or making one up as they go along with whatever that they are addressing to you at the moment in time on the date.
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  2. 2
    Inspect your date's body language for their body language can tell you all that you need to know about their actions during the date.
    Notice if your date has their arms crossed, legs crossed or even their finger when talking to them for this is a sign that they are being dishonest with you during whatever they are doing on the date. The crossing of their body means that they have something to hide from you so it is definitely not a good sign in determining whether or not your date is genuine. It is usually something that they do subconsciously so it is not anything that they will notice that they are doing while on the date also do not listen to the saying that they are doing this because they are nervous for there are other signs that a date will show if they happen to be nervous while on the date.
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  3. 3
    Listen to the person's speech when they are talking to you on the date for they will often give off signs of dishonesty in a lot of ways.
    Hesitation is a sign that the person is telling you a fib during the conversation for they will need to hesitate in order to think to get their lie straight for if the statement or story is true they will not need time to gather the parts of their story in order to tell you the information. Also when all the details are not true the person will also tend to mumble when telling you certain information for the mumbling process is them trying to come up with information quickly but they are not able to process the fake information that they are trying to get together in order to tell you the statement. This is a red flag especially for a person who is not used to lying for a person who is used to lying will more than likely not do these actions too often during the date but they will also fall into a spot where they will show these signs while communicating. They hesitate and mumble for they have to tell one lie in order to cover up for the next in a fast fashion so doing this causes them to mumble or hesitate during the conversation. While on the date ask a variety of question to see if any of your questions trigger these actions, if it does then understand that your date is not being completely honest with you on the date.
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  4. 4
    Look out for if after the date the person does not call you or forgets the next plans for a date they are dishonest.
    Sometimes the person will say that they forgot the dating arrangement or to call you do not take this likely for a dishonest person tells so many lies that they cannot keep up with the things that they say to people. Also their forgetting the date can also mean that they had previous plans with someone else instead of you and was not forgotten at all but just ignored for they did not plan on keeping the plans with you for the date at all. These are big triggers for after the date has been completed between the two of you so if your date projects these actions then it is time that you leave this person alone for they are dishonest.
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How to finish the date or conversation nicely and move on

Sometimes you can detect during the date that the person is dishonest but you are already in the middle of the date so these steps are how to help you to finish the date or conversation nicely just to finish the date and move on with your life.

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  1. 1
    Ignore most of what they are saying during the date if you know for sure that they are lying to you, this doesn't mean to look away or be disrespectful but just kindly listen to bits and pieces and show your interest in a fake way.
    Remember you have already detected that this person is a liar so from here you can simply just accept that they are not able to tell the truth on the date and that all you are trying to do right now is survive the date so that you can go about your business. Accepting that the person is a liar will help you to find the rest of the date entertaining instead of being mad for the rest of the date.
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  2. 2
    Don't take it personal that this person is lying to you during the date for it is not your fault that this person is dishonest.
    Understand that the person is this way with everyone and that it is not only you in this situation and that this is just who the person is generally. These type of people cannot get better without help from someone in order to cure this disease of being a dishonest person. A dishonest person does not understand that they are not only hurting the person they are lying to but also themselves in the being dishonest situation that they put others through every time that they are dishonest.
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  3. 3
    Restrain yourself from calling them a liar during the date for this will only spark a huge argument or scene during the date that will in turn hurt or embarrass you on the date.
    As you may believe that calling them out on their lies will help the situation understand that it will not help at all when trying to get through the date successfully and also break it off after the date is completed. Calling a person a liar often gives off the accusation that the person lies all the time which may not be the case and this person may just only lie occasional or about certain situations in life so keep yourself from calling this person this name or any other name that will be offensive while on the date.
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  4. 4
    Come to the conclusion that this person is dishonest and do not go any further in a relationship with them thinking that you can change them to becoming an honest person.
    Some people go on dates knowing that the person is dishonest with the thought that they can change them in the future into an honest person or even a person that they can mold into who they want them to be, this is not something that is definite so be wise and leave the situation alone after the date is over to save yourself a lot of pain and disappointment. Take into consideration that this person is dishonest that they may never change even though it seems like a harsh way to think of going about this situation also look at it as you saving yourself for anything negative that can happen later on in the potential relationship.
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  5. 5
    Confront this person if necessary if you are looking to end the night and take immediately if you cannot take any more of the dishonesty but make sure you do it tactfully and not negatively.
    If they say something that is not right then you can easily just let them know that what they said was not accurate or right which in turn will give off a non-lethal approach to their dishonesty this may even stop the person from telling any more lies but the damage will have already been done with all the previous lying that has transpired during the date between you and your date. Also when saying this do not at all continue to call them out on their dishonesty for this will bring anger to the person who is being dishonest during the date, test the waters with being nice and see exactly what the other persons reaction to what you have called them out on during the date.
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  6. 6
    Break contact with the person after you have gone out on the date and have noticed that the person in fact is dishonest.
    The great thing about doing this on the first date is that the person in fact will not have any additional information about you so in turn you will be able to successfully break all ties after the date is over and done. If this person has information such as your phone number or way of contact after letting them know that you did not enjoy the date block them from contact for they may become a stalker or say negative things to you which will turn into a problem on your end. If you did not enjoy the date be sure to be honest with not only the person but yourself by not stringing them along to think that you like them if in all honesty you do not like the person or their dishonesty. A big mistake that people make when going on a bad date is leading them on which is not at all a good choice for by doing this you are only prolonging the inevitable which will be that you are going to leave them for you do not like their dishonesty that they have shown during the date.
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A dishonest person is someone whom you do not want to associate yourself with on any basis whether it is friend or relationship, during the date it is important that you recognize these signs early so that you can save yourself from any type of disappointment in the future.

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Questions and Answers

Why you don't like a dishonest person?

Everyone does not like a dishonest person. If someone lies to you, do you think it would be OK to accept once he or she apologizes to you? It may be OK to know that he or she lied to you for your protection and security. But, what if the person keeps on lying to you whenever you ask something? This can be annoying ,and it may break someone's trust. In fact, trust lies on honesty. If you break someone's trust by your dishonesty, you will also break your relationship with them. Honesty is very important in all relationships, from lovers to families. Honesty builds harmonious relationship and, of course, trust. If you are not honest to the people you care about, then they will never ever trust on you. They will never count on you whenever they need help, because you are a dishonest person. Take the couples as examples, if one of them is dishonest to his or her partner, what would happen to their relationship? Do you think the person, who was fooled many times by his or her partner, will learn to trust his or her partner once more? This is uncertain, as dishonesty can destroy the important quality - trust.

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Why is dishonesty a turn off when dating given that most people will lie when it benefits them?

Dating can be a thrilling, yet overwhelming experience. Both men and women generally try to put their best foot forward to leave a memorable and positive first impression when dating. Sometimes they lie by putting forth an image that is not really them, just to impress their dates. However, once the lying is discovered later on it can turn into a big discouragement and turn off. When the trust is gone from a relationship, it is really difficult to bounce back.

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Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Florence I. Edim, Ermin, Alma

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