Deal with the "I love the silent treatment" attitude
Edited by Ryan, Lynn, Charmed, Eng and 3 others
What is the silent treatment? Silent treatment may also be known as social rejection or ostracism. This means that an individual or people are excluded from social relationships or interactions. The silent treatment is done by not talking to another person, and giving him or her a cold shoulder, with no conversation, but maybe just a simple nod to say yes or no. The silent treatment can be powerful. When a person is experiencing ostracism, a part of the brain that detects pain is actually activated. That pain will only be eradicated once the person or people excluding him or her starts to communicate with the victim. Silent treatment or ostracism is one of the most widely used form of social punishment. Some may say that it is a more humane punishment than physical punishment, but the silent treatment often creates a great psychological impact.
An individual who experiences the silent treatment may feels that he or she is invisible. In a corporate world, contractual or seasonal employees often experience this because the other people know that he or she can't stay in their company for a long time. This will affect the work of that individual. Ostracizing people can affect perceptions, attitude, behavior and physiological conditions, and can sometimes can lead to aggression. On the other hand people who are ostracized may still feel a strong sense of belonging with his group. An ostracizes person tends to improve his behavior or characteristics just to fit in the group, or they can become destructive or vindictive.
This article will give you a knowledge on how you can deal with ostracism. From my own point of view, silent treatment is an act of an immature person. It is a mind manipulation, and people who are not articulate enough to answer questions, or are guilty of something, use the silent treatment to avoid conversations that will reveal how they have wronged others. This silent treatment is destructive not only in a work place, but especially in a marriage. It's okay to tell your partner that you can't talk right now because you are avoiding saying words that will hurt you and your partner. If you need a cool off period, which is definitely not a couple of days, then communicate that. However, a problem that you are trying to resolve will remain a problem if you will not talk about it and meet halfway on a solution.
How to Deal With the Silent Treatment
- 1Try to figure out the reason for it.Think back to try and determine when this behavior started. Try to remember if you acted cruelly or your partner, or if your friends may have misjudged your actions and that caused them to feel angry with you.Advertisement
- 2Ask yourself if you said something hurtful to your partner or friend that contribute to their reaction.Sometimes we are careless in giving our opinion, which may lead people to think that we don't care about their feelings.Advertisement
- 3Apologize.Whether you started it or not you need to know that a mature person must figure out how to resolve the problem, not dwell on and prolong the issue. Apologizing is not a sign of weakness or defeat. It is a good sign that you are open to resolve the issue, even if it is not your fault. Bear in mind that you are not perfect, and even if you don't think you did anything wrong, you might have hurt the other person unknowingly.
- 4Don't bug him or her.Don't try to pester him or her to tell you how long he or she will continue to use the weapon of the silent treatment to punish you. Let the other person know that you are willing to talk and listen or actually have a conversation once he or she is ready, and then drop it. You already tried to initiate a conversation to resolve your conflict. Now the ball is in the other person's court to think and act on the situation.
- 5Set a date.Make a date with your partner who is ostracizing you or your friends. Talk and ask what's the matter. Make the first move and ask if you did something wrong or offensive. Be sure that your tone is calm and friendly so the other person will feel your sincerity, and be convinced that it is the right time to communicate with you. Give him or her a few moments to assemble his or her thoughts, then start again the conversation. Have a mature conversation about what the problem is and how you will fix it, in order to avoid the silent treatment war.
- 6Be honest with your partner.Tell him or her that the silent treatment is not the best way to resolve your issue. The silent treatment will only hurt you more and make you more sad. Let your partner or friends know that you will be glad to find a remedy to your problems, and to solve everything quickly in the most graceful manner. If the other person declines you, then leave it that way.
- 7Don't try to read your partner's mind.Stop trying to think like a psychic because you will drive yourself crazy. If your friend or partner is using the silent treatment on you without telling you the reason why they are doing it, just bear in mind that it's their duty to tell you what's wrong. If the other person won't tell you, it is at his or her own risk. A person or people will not have the right feel angry with you once you commit the same mistake again, because you may not know what you did if they won't tell you. You need to remove the sense of responsibility from yourself so you can respond in a calmer manner in dealing with the silent treatment.
- 8Check your emotions.If someone is throwing you a silent treatment, how does it affect you? If it doesn't really bother you, then you don't need to do anything. It might make the situation worse if you can't imagine yourself in the other person's shoes. If the silent treatment is having a big impact on you -- if it makes you upset and angry -- then it means you need to do something about it. You need to tell your friend or partner about how you feel and encourage him or her to talk about their feelings also. Whichever you feel, you need to control your emotions and never jump into an action that will make the situation worse. Let your emotional storm pass by before doing anything rash.Advertisement
Questions and Answers
How does the silent treatment make you feel?
The silent treatment makes some people feel better in some ways, especially if they have had a fight with their loved ones. In married life, couples sometimes fight, for various reasons, and often the silent treatment can be the key not to make the fight worse. After some quiet time, both parties may feel better and the anger can subside on both ends. The silent treatment is good to subdue intense emotions, like anger. On the other hand, in excess, it can be harmful to a relationships. In marriage, it can even lead to separation or divorce.
The silent treatment can also be a way to avoid saying rude or bad words to each other. This can be a better option than hurting someone else. Yet it can be used a way of punishing others emotionally. Ostracizing someone is a destructive behavior. It may hurt someone's feelings, because he or she is ignored without knowing the reasons at all. Those who are ostracizing someone else may feel satisfied because they can make their victims suffer. The victims may also be hurt and angered by the silent treatment.
The silent treatment sometimes occurs in marriage. When someone administers the silent treatment, he or she may feel dominant over his or her partner. It is like a struggle in pain tolerance. Whoever can tolerate it is a winner, and this is typically really annoying to the partner. Long periods of silence in the house can be totally unbearable for some people.
The person or people giving the silent treatment may feel better, and happy or satisfied, since they are making the other party feel hurt. Although the treatment makes one feel better, it does not do any good to him or her, and definitely won't help the one who is being ostracized.
- If you have problems with any of these steps, ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Ermin, Anonymous, Eng