Deal with dating a widow
Edited by Ephraim, Charmed, Eng
Dating a widow is not an easy task at all for they will be going through many stages of depression and grief and you will play a role in how they release that grief after the death of their spouse. Remember that dating a widow is not like dating something who got out of a relationship from it failing, but someone had to pass in order to split this relationship up so heed this information and use it well in order to help out the relationship.
- 1understand what grief is and go as far as to understand the steps in grief for it is not only one stage or one thing to worry about but a number of collective things to deal with when talking about grief.Other than reading on what grief is go back in your past to remember someone who actually went through a grieving process to see how they reacted and acted after their lost of a person for this will help you to familiarize yourself of what this person has or is going through currently.Advertisement
- Shock & denial is the first stage of grief which will cause the person to first be in disbelief about the lost of their special someone who was important to them. they will deny the reality of the situation in order to avoid the painful reality that the person they loved has been lost, also the use of shock helps for the person to keep from being overwhelmed all at the same time this can last for a very long time being from days to weeks.
- Pain and guilt will replace the shock the person will feel an incredible deal of pain because of the death, it will also seem unbearable to the person in question about the loss. This level is one of the more crucial points for a person may go to something else in order to avoid the pain by using drugs or any thing else of the sort.
- anger- frustration and anger will cause you to lash out and blame someone or something for the death. This is a hard thing to control in that person for they will blame anything and lash out at whoever tried to calm them down or talk about the situation
- Depression- the person will go through a process of memories of the person and also the though of never being able to have new memories with the person in question. Best thing to do is let the person go through this part without interrupting for they will come to an understanding by themselves which is needed.
- The turn around- they start to get a grip on the situation and the depression starts to become less effective on the person or starts to die down a bit on the person. The person will start to understand how to live life without that person in their life.
- Reconstruction- people will fully reconstruct themselves in order to move on in life to continue living and taking care of their responsibilities.
- Acceptance- the person fully accepts that their loved one is gone and not coming back, even though they will not fully return to how they were before their loved one was taken away from them they will start to function completely normally than from the first step to now.
- 2never try to figure out what the person is feeling at all instead ask them if there is something wrong with them at the time being.If you try to guess how the person is feeling at the time you may be wrong and thus opening up another thing for them to have to think about so the best thing to do is to keep your mouth shut about the incident that they have been through and instead let them bring up the topic. You can bring up dormant emotions in the person if you try to guess exactly what is wrong with them at that period in time so do not try to interpret or guess anything the only thing that needs to be said by you is "what's wrong" for everything that that person will be sad about is not only their lost one but regular things in life but by you mentioning the person they lost will bring up the topic of that lost person in their life.Advertisement
- 3think before you say certain things to them about their partner for you can trigger anger within them and it will only be your fault, an example of what not to say would be:"its OK just remember all the things you two shared together" even though this may sound like good advice the person probably doesn't want their memories of their spouse but instead want them in their life also never tell them it will be OK for they will always go against the term "its going to be OK" in the beginning to keep away from saying certain things to this person for this can bring up a lot of resentment for you in the relationship. The last thing you want to happen in the relationship is for you to bring up so many things for them to think about pertaining to their passed away spouse that they lose interest in any and everybody including you in particular.
- 4Understand that this person may not be mentally balanced fully throughout the relationship.Anything can trigger the emotions in the person at any point in time so be understanding to this for you know exactly what this person has been through so this will require more understanding from you in the relationship, so if you are not up to dealing with this person on a psychological matter then you should not at all engage in the relationship any further.
- 5reassure the person to not make any type of major decisions for at least a year after they have lost their person for they will not be in the right mental state to think clearly in their life, so you will need to act as the person counselor on this issue but only this issue.Sometimes the person will actually listen to what you have to say but sometimes they will not listen so its important that you be prepared for negativity if it comes your way.
- 6be the listening ear to your partner for they may want to talk about certain things with you but if you do not listen it can cause a problem in the relationship.If you are not ready to listen to what the person has to say about their previous marriage and partner then do not get involved in the relationship for you will need be ready for this in order the relationship to progress. Along with listening be sure to act interested in what the other person has to say for it is of utter importance that you show interest in what is being said for the other persons sake of the relationship. Show your interest in the late spouse in all positiveness with the other person, if you bring them up ensure that you bring up happy memories for not doing so will cause anger in the person.Advertisement
Questions and Answers
Dating a widow and how to deal with things in home that are reminders of late spouse?
You have to remember that a widow's late spouse will always have a special place in their heart. Getting rid of the things that reminds them of their late spouse may cause a rift between the two of you unless they insist to keep all their late spouse's things in one box. You don't have to be jealous over this unless your partner is always talking about the late spouse and even to the point of comparing you with them. If this is the case, consider talking to your partner about how you feel about it. If the situation becomes worse, consider ending the relationship as it will only bring up fights and will only poison your relationship even deeper.
- If you have problems with any of these steps, ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.
Categories : Dating
Recent edits by: Charmed, Ephraim