Deal with an Overly Jealous Boyfriend
Edited by Ermin, Lynn, Jen M, Eng and 5 others
So, you have a boyfriend who is overly jealous, and you feel like he has been controlling you like a puppet? Has he been following you? Does he keep phoning you just to make sure you aren't with someone else? Does he get angry when you chat with male friends? Does he need to know where you are at all times? If so, you may be struggling in a relationship with an overly jealous boyfriend.
- 1 Dealing With Jealousy
- 2 Tips
- 3 Questions and Answers
- 3.1 How can I get my boyfriend to stop having jealous rages?
- 3.2 Should I just leave him because of this jealousy? He has even been married before and divorced and he is only 24.
- 3.3 How to get over his insecurities?
- 3.4 Can his jealousy completely break our bond?
- 3.5 My boyfriend is jealous, I'm 400 miles away from him.
- 3.6 How can I get him to see that he has destroyed our relationship?
- 4 Referencing this Article
- 5 Comments
Dealing With Jealousy
Even though a tiny amount of jealousy in a relationship is an indication that both of you love another, it may also choke your relationship to death if it's over-the-top. There is only one way to get away from an overly jealous boyfriend, and that is to break up with him. Really. If, however, you are unable or unwilling to do that, even though your boyfriend is overly jealous, because you aren't ready to end your relationship when everything else is fine between you, there are things in this article to help you deal with an overly jealous boyfriend.
Positive Things You Can Do
- 1When he starts to get jealous, be sweet to him.Advertisement
- 2Always show your love in many ways.Advertisement
- 3Don't be a martyr and reprimand him if you have to.
- 4If possible, avoid things that make him jealous.
- 5Tell him that you are not the same as his ex.
- 6Have an open forum with him.Advertisement
- A relationship will not work if both of you have too much pride. Physical aggression and emotional abuse can happen in a relationship where jealousy is always a threat, and one or both of you easily lose your temper. It can be your boyfriend that hurts you or vice versa. You aren't kids anymore, and you should talk it over with your boyfriend. Always control your temper if your boyfriend is starting to get jealous of something in order to avoid physical and emotional abuse from both sides. Instead, be soft and sweet to him, despite his jealousy. In this way, it will help him calm down.
- After reading this article, I would like to add that jealousy is not your problem, if you aren't doing anything to provoke him. It's his insecurities. It's very difficult to change someone's behavior. As much as he should accept you exactly as you are, so you must accept him. If he is being unreasonable, and causing issues because of his problems, why not walk away before it's too late? Find a guy who's secure, and become the best you can be by their side, not in spite of them. No one should have to walk on eggshells just to soothe a savage beast.
- if he shows any signs of violence, or signs he's having trouble holding back his anger, get out.
- If he makes you feel bad about yourself because of his insecurity, get out.
- If he makes you unhappy, get out.
Questions and Answers
How can I get my boyfriend to stop having jealous rages?
My boyfriend gets jealous rages, but he does not tell me about it. He keeps it to himself and tells me everything is okay. But then he does not talk to me for days. I don't know if talking to him will make him more upset or help him.
Any jealousy has feeling of property as its basis; however, that is a natural feeling that can even improve an interpersonal relationship if it is felt in moderation. The way the person expresses his or her jealousy depends upon his or her psychological qualities. Your boyfriend keeps all of his feelings to himself, and, most likely, he is an introvert. Just like violent displays of jealousy, silence that lasts several days is not healthy and can deteriorate even the strongest relationship. Silence causes discomfort on all sides. Psychologists claim that a jealous person is not only afraid of losing a beloved person but also possesses low self-esteem and a strong psychological dependence upon the relationship with the partner. Analyze his reasons for jealousy and what feeds his thoughts. Jealous people often surmise that they are loved less than others. Maybe he doesn't receive enough attention and "proof" of those feelings to make him feel safe. Talk to him and explain that you love only him and that the strength of the feeling does not change when you talk to other men. Praise his qualities to increase his confidence. Try to analyze if you highlight advantages of others in his presence or flirt with others. If he feels himself as the only person in your heart, then his jealousy will fade away.
Should I just leave him because of this jealousy? He has even been married before and divorced and he is only 24.
We only have been together for 6 months. We are never apart except for when we're at work. At work he calls me every 20-30 minutes and if he hears a man's voice he screams and calls me names, I had to "unfriend" every guy from my social media as did he all his female friends. I cannot wear tight clothing or sweat pants. I cannot go to the store alone, I cannot smoke, I cannot go to school because "I will cheat " but I've never cheated. As a matter of fact although we are always together I have seen him give attention to other females in front of me but God forbid it happens the other way around or someone looks at me. I need help or I'm at the point of leaving. I have tried: conversation, mainly. I think it was caused by: It happened as soon as we became a little serious
He has mega security issues. Most likely he has been in unfaithful relationships in the past and now every woman is unfaithful. His controlling behavior sounds quite scary and you should leave. You sound miserable and who wants to live in a cage for the rest of their life?
No one should ever stop you from getting an education. NO ONE. Possible cheating is not an excuse to deny you an education. If you looked up warning signs for spousal abuse, unfortunately several of the issues you listed are red flags for future spousal abuse.
He is not jealous but instead controlling. He is jealous. AND controlling. And insecure, and don't kid yourself into thinking he's been cheated on – men who cheat aren't able to trust their partners. Get out. Don't be a statistic – just get out. Thank goodness it's only been six months. But, just a word of caution, any violence in this man, and I assure you there is, will be at its absolute worst when you tell him you're leaving.
How to get over his insecurities?
My boyfriend is just too jealous and at times it feels that he is pushing me away. I have tried: Tried talking to him. I think it was caused by: His ex
The only way you can help his is with constant assurance that he is the one and only for you. This can be an exhausting task but if you think that this relationship has a future, it will be worth it.
- Send him text messages throughout the day about how much you love him.
- Give him a complete account of your day.
- Talk about permanence and future for your relationship.
- Be careful who you talk to when you are out with him.
- Avoid situations that even though they are innocent, can cause doubts for him.
If you work on his insecurities this way, eventually he should be able to relax. Next time the subject comes up; let him know that this relationship can't grow if he is stuck in the past. You are not his ex and he needs to realize that people can be trusted but he is virtually pushing you out of the relationship.
Can his jealousy completely break our bond?
My boyfriend is very envious of my guy friends. Out of respect for our relationship, I eased up on my relationships with my guy friends, but he still gets so upset every time I bring up something that reminds him of those friends. He shuts me down when we're talking and sometimes I feel that he's just way too immature for a relationship.
Deal With Your Girlfriend's Male Friend is a VisiHow article with some suggestions you could try. He may be too insecure and immature for a serious relationship, especially if he is young and has not had many serious relationships. There is a learning curve in each relationship we have and he may be gaining the coping skills to deal with jealousy.
For now, avoid subjects that upset him. Plan a party and ask that he invite people and you invite your friends and you get to know each other. If he accepts, then perhaps the opportunity to physically see there is no threat with these friendships may help. If he shuts down when you suggest the party, back off and wait before approaching the issue again.
His jealousy can end the relationship. If you think that you can't handle walking on eggshells around him, let him know that you love him but can't live with the insecurities. Approach the subject gently so that he does not feel threatened and shut down.
My boyfriend is jealous, I'm 400 miles away from him.
Now I look for an appropriate text message to calm him down and make him sure of my feelings that are not (yet) love. Can you help?
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How can I get him to see that he has destroyed our relationship?
How do I get him to stop being so suspicious?
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Referencing this Article
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Deal with an Overly Jealous Boyfriend. (2016). In VisiHow. Retrieved May 1, 2017, from http://visihow.com/Deal_with_an_Overly_Jealous_Boyfriend
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Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: ag, Maria, VisiHow