Deal with Anger in a Conflict Situation
Edited by sheryl hernandez, Rebecca M., Ermin, VisiHow and 1 other
Anger is a strong emotion that can make a person become unpleasant and violent, because someone or something unjust and unfair has happened, or the person believes it's happened. Often anger becomes uncontrollable, leading to aggression and violence. Extreme anger can lead to heart attacks.
Many people are short-tempered and are easily provoked. Sometimes the simplest things can set them off. There are many things that will make people angry, from troubles at work and with his love life, to road rage and anger that often stems from impatience.
Worse than one person losing their temper is two people losing their temper. You see it when a couple is arguing, and things get totally out of hand, and you see it with two men – which often leads to a fist fight outside of the bar – or worse, inside the bar. Was there a time that you queued up to get tickets and then someone butted in line ahead of you? How did you feel? You might have felt it was unfair and even tried to talk to that person, calmly. Yet, he or she suddenly reacted with anger and curses. Because you are also short-tempered, you were provoked and then things got worse. In a situation like this, neither has their anger under control. Read on to learn how to control anger.
Helpful Ways to Deal with Anger in a Conflict Situation
Are there ways to deal with anger? If the other person is as aggressive as you are, what things should you do so you don't make the situation worse? Below are some helpful ways to deal with anger in a conflict situation.
- 1Be patient.One of the most helpful qualities to help you deal with anger is patience. It takes patience to cope with situations that would otherwise lead to angry outbursts. Without patience, you will be easily provoked and make things worse. Patience is important not just in dealing with your own anger, but dealing with the anger that arises in other people.Advertisement
- 2Breathe.Before you react, take a few deep breaths. Simple breathing can calm your temper. Count 1 to 10 while breathing deeply and this will defuse your anger. This can also help you relax and reduce high blood pressure. Anger is not good for your health, especially if you have hypertension.Advertisement
- 3Take a break from someone or something that provokes you.If you are working really hard and your boss keeps commanding you to do things, while you are still doing some stuff on your desk. You feel annoyed and you want to punch him in the face. However, this should only be done in your mind. What should you do? Take a break from your boss, take a deep breath, go to your happy place and have a cup of coffee. You will be fine.
- 4Think before you act.Before reacting and saying some rude words you may quickly regret, think first! You don't want to end up wishing you could turncould turn back time".
- 5React politely with soft tone.In a conflict situation where you are right and the other person is wrong, you can react to him or her politely. How to do this? Start uttering with word "I" to deal with the problem. For instance, "I was disappointed that you left the desk without offering to help with the cleaning," this sounds better than saying, "You never help, not even once!" Of course, you also have to react with a soft tone so that the person will realize what he or she has done is wrong and will not be provoked by you. Anger can beget anger.
- 6Use humor to diffuse temper.You don't have to become aggressive to release your temper. Why hurt someone? Instead of harsh words, try humor. Make sure you direct the humor at yourself, rather than the other person. Directing the joke at them, or being sarcastic will not go over well in this situation. It's like poking a lion in the nose with a stick.
- 7Use calming phrases to cool yourself down.Calming phrases are "relax" and "take it easy". Chant these calming phrases inside your mind whenever you get angry. Say these words and breathe deeply. These can help defuse your temper.
- 8Go outside and take a breath of fresh air.While breathing deeply inside a closed area is helpful, going outside and taking a breath of fresh air is a lot better. This works the best in winter. You can completely cool yourself down. The air can ward off bad emotions and lower high blood pressure. As you get back to your office, you will feel relaxed and your temper will have subsided.
- 9Forgive someone.Like the saying goes, "Forgive and forget". You should also forgive someone who wronged you and forget what he or she has done. If you do not forgive the person, even though what he or she did is unforgettable, you will keep on ruminating the past until you get old. According to the professor of communication and psychology at The Ohio State University in Columbus, Dr. Brad Bushman, forgiving a person is a perfect way to subdue temper.
- 10Keep a journal.Write your strong emotions down in your diary, instead of displaying your anger aggressively to someone, you can write it down in your diary. Write all your emotions in your notebook as this will help subdue your anger. You don't need a diary to write about your emotions. Any notebook will do as long as you can write your emotions down. This will transmit your anger to writing. In addition, you can think carefully about how to react to someone who provokes you. This is because you have a lot of time to think while writing than reacting on the spot. If you're really angry, and you have a fireplace, after you've vented in your book, rip out the page, crumple it, and throw it into the fire. It's kind of liberating. Just a word of caution…while you're writing all the things that make you angry, you need to make sure the book cannot be found. Words like that could destroy relationships.
- 11Lower your pride.This is the best way to deal with anger in a conflict situation. If you lower your pride, everything will be all right. For example, if you and your partner fight for no reason, you do not have to shout back and say rude words. This won't help the situation at all. It might be temporary, but it will help in that moment. Learn how to lower your pride, so that things won't get worse and you won't hurt someone.
- 12Exercise.You have a fight with your family members at home, and you feel like you want to explode. To avoid hurting someone, do exercises instead. Brisk walking and jogging can help subdue your anger. If you exercise, you will release endorphins, the chemicals in your brain that can help ease yourself and deal with your emotions. Exercises that are good for stress include:
- Martial Arts.
- Team Sports.
- 13Be compassionate.Compassion can dissipate someone's anger. Do something nice for someone who provokes you, especially if that someone is your partner. Your compassion can dissipate your partner's anger. He or she will certainly apologize to you later, because he or she will think you are a very nice person despite his or her character.
- Learn how to control your anger and don't let anger control you.
- If you are religious, do consider praying for your emotions to subside. Praying can dispel negative emotions.
- Do not communicate when you are angry. Wait for yourself to cool down, instead.
- Do not send text messages or any other messages via technological means when you are angry. Instead, write your emotions down or make a draft and let it sit there for 24 hours. Read it back when you wake up the next morning, you will realize that you wrote a letter you'd probably regret. Now destroy the letter so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands – which would pretty much be anyone else's hands. Imagine your new girlfriend finding a letter you wrote expressing anger to your ex-wife. There is always more than one relationship at risk of being ruined.
Questions and Answers
Can you give me a usual situation about this?
Because I need it and I am not so comfortable with the example given by the internet.
- 1At work.A very common situation when you are asked to contact one of your coworkers who has a higher position, and he or she has a burst of anger at every little detail or defect in your work or questions. Never shout back or say something personally insulting. Listen to the person carefully. Look at him or her widening his arms, shouting at you or your team, and say, "Thank you!" This may be repeated for years, and you will have to ask in a calm voice if it is possible to explain everything in a calm tone. It is possible that this will change nothing, but if you respond in the same manner or provoke the person, you may lose your job and the person, who is really not enemy, will suffer too. The best way to deal with these situations is thinking about releasing your anger later on.
- 2In relationships.People will quarrel with you, and you will have to wait until they calm down and talk to them or listen to everything and offer solutions. Make sure your voice is calm and your phrases are consequential. Someone will have to step over his or her pride unless he or she wishes to fracture the relationship. Someone will need to apologize, even if he or she is right. Do not assume it will be your partner.
- 3At a shop.The clerk may shout at you for no or little reason. The best course of action is not saying anything and leaving the store. There is nothing worse than a shop losing its clients, and a client who is not satisfied with the service will tell about it to ten other people, according to science of business.Advertisement
- If you have problems with any of these steps, ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.
Categories : Health & Wellness
Recent edits by: VisiHow, Ermin, Rebecca M.