Deal With Your Girlfriend's Male Friend

Edited by Ephraim, Charmed, Mian Sheilette Ong, Eng and 21 others

Yassora 210116120711-meme.jpg

Some girls get along well with guys and have plenty of male friends. If your girlfriend's best friend is a guy, it is important to make him your friend and not your enemy. It's normal to feel a little jealous, but the key is to maintain your trust and confidence, and you may even gain a new friend in the process. If there is mutual trust and respect between you and your girlfriend, her male friend won't be an issue. Read the tips below to learn how to deal with your girlfriend's male friend and make the best of the situation.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

How to Deal With Your Girlfriend's Male Friend

  1. 1
    Meet your girlfriend's friend
    When you and your girlfriend get together, the two of you will share a lot of information about your personal lives, and the topic of friends will come up. It is very important that you pay close attention to the things she tells you about her friends. Also, there will be a time where the option of meeting that person will come up. Most males tend to stray away and act as if we don't care to meet the other guy, but we definitely do. Meeting her friends can turn out to be a great thing for both you and your girlfriend. When you meet the friend for the first time, remember that you only get one shot at making the best impression that you can with her friend.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No | I need help
  2. 2
    Communicate positively
    Upon meeting this person, try to not seem as if you really do not want to meet them. Go into the meeting with positive thoughts, and do not consider him competition or an obstacle in your relationship, as he is only her platonic friend. He likely has the same position in her life as her female friends. They will notice how you act towards them, and this first impression can either make you friends or enemies. Talk to the guy, find common interests, and try your best to get in good with him. It will help your relationship a lot by being friends with him because your girlfriend will see how much you care about the people in her life, and that will score you points with her. The downside to the meeting is that if it does not go well, you two may possibly become enemies. This may cause tension between you and your girlfriend when she talks to him or talks to you about him. Another downside to messing up the meeting will be having to worry about the friend trying to mess up your relationship because he doesn't like you. Therefore, the introduction is very important in determining whether or not her guy friend will be a friend to you or an enemy.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No | I need help
  3. 3
    Know your position
    In your relationship, it is important to be close to your girlfriend's male friend, while not taking his friendship with her away. If you do this, it will likely cause problems between you and your significant other. Some relationships face the issue of the boyfriend not knowing their position with the male friend. They forget that the friend is not only theirs, but their girlfriend's as well. You have to make sure that you pace your relationship with the male friend and ensure that you are not spending more time with the friend more than your girlfriend. If this happens, she may get jealous of the relationship and either pull you away from the friend or pull the friend away from you.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No | I need help
  4. 4
    Have confidence in yourself
    Do not act like you are jealous of her male friend. Be secure with yourself and realize that you are the person she chose to be in a romantic relationship, not her friend. If you act very insecure or jealous, she will likely be turned off by this behavior, and it could even ruin your relationship. Trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, and if you act suspicious of her relationship with her male friend, she will feel that you do not trust her or doubt her integrity as a person. If your girlfriend is neglecting you or your relationship because she is spending more time with her friend than you, then you have every right to bring it up, but do not project your own insecurities onto their friendship.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No | I need help
  5. 5
    Respect their friendship for what it is
    You may not be happy that the male friend is "imposing" and "talking to your girl" too much. However, you must remember that this is not just some guy; he is her best friend. The friend has the right to contact your girlfriend when necessary, so handle your dislike for that aspect and understand that he was her friend before you were even in her life. Most boyfriends tend to have the "I don't care attitude" about the male friend, when in reality, you may feel that the male friend is a threat to your relationship in some way. However, if it bothers you that much, talk to your girlfriend and let her know if it makes you uncomfortable. However, realize that the friend knows everything about your girlfriend before you even knew her, making him incredibly important to her. If you have an issue with the friend in the relationship, it is important to let your girlfriend know about the issue. However, ultimatums should not be given to your girlfriend on the matter of choosing between you and the friend. Pick your battles wisely when challenging the male friend; arguing about the friend is not something that your relationship needs. As stated before, you do not want to make him the enemy. If your girlfriend wants to go out with her male friend, let her go. Do not argue about it and show complete trust. Unless, of course, if the two of you are enemies and you have a real reason to be concerned. Only in those cases is it OK to question the details of their hangouts. Even though her friend may be your enemy and should be watched carefully, it does not mean you have the right to stop them from being friends.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No | I need help
  6. 6
    Keep negative comments to yourself
    This is one of the most important aspects of handling the male friend, especially if you and the friend do not get along. When with the friend, it is important to not complain about your girlfriend, as the friend will repeat some or everything mentioned in the conversation. This is something that is more likely to happen if you are friends with the male. So your best bet is to not say anything that she would not want to hear during conversations with him. If he has something negative to say, do not comment on the matter. However, if it is overly offensive, then it would be appreciated by your girlfriend if you defended her. At the same time, respect the friend, and do not make bad comments about him to your girlfriend. This may cause her to tell him about the comments you made, turning him into your enemy, or if he is already an enemy, he will resent you even more. Keep the conversations positive, and avoid a he-said, she-said situation.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Things You May Ask Your Girlfriend's Male Friend

  • Be a friend to him, and ask him to take care of your girlfriend whenever they are together and you are not around. Let him help you to guard your girlfriend to avoid others from bullying your girlfriend.
  • Ask him to inform you of your girlfriend's activities, like if he knows where she is going or who she is hanging out with. You can also ask him to notice when others are courting your girlfriend. Take care not to appear like a stalker and pry into her business too much, though. If you ask too much, he might get the wrong idea and warn her that you're being paranoid.
  • You can ask him if it would be OK to contact him if you cannot reach your girlfriend.

Questions and Answers

How to keep away girlfriend's male friends?

This could be a hard boyfriend's mission especially when we are talking about longtime friends. You may want to talk to your girlfriend or your girlfriend's male friend about how you feel, and instead of keeping him away, why not befriend him too? Your girlfriend may not appreciate feeling like she has to choose between you and a friend. Unless there is something inappropriate going on between your girlfriend and her male pal, there is no need to keep them away from each other.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

That is the first mistake that you can make in regards to your girlfriend's male friend. It is very important that you do your best to either balance out the situation on your own or to address the situation to your girlfriend. Do not by any means try any tricks or anything to keep them away from your girlfriend in a negative way or by acting negatively towards the friend for you can end up losing her in the act of performing such an action.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Should I be worried if my girlfriend is meeting up with a guy friend?

There is nothing to be worried about if your girlfriend only sees her guy friend as pal and nothing more. It is when you notice that she spends more time with him and seems happier than she is around you that you should start hitting the panic button. If it is worrying you, then you may want to talk this out with your girlfriend. Tell her that you do not really feel good about her meeting up with this friend in a regular basis. If your girlfriend only meets up with her male friend occasionally, then let her. Being in a relationship should not stop you from seeing other friends, especially when the friendship between them was there even before you came around.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

One of the basic foundation in having a strong relationship is to have a complete trust in each other. Without trust, a relationship will not prosper or even makes the relationship to break. In response to your query, if your girlfriend truly loves you and you truly loves her back, you need to completely trust her and try to dispel away the negative feeling of jealousy because it will just only make your relationship at risk for breaking up. Instead, try to be more supportive to your girlfriend and also make friends to her guy friend. In this way, you are positively making yourself more worthy to your girlfriend's eyes and making her know that you totally support all her actions and considers her friend to be one of your friends. In short, you should not worry if your girlfriend meets with her friend guy.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

See more questions like this: How do l deal with this guy who seems to be always in my wife's life?

Jealousy Game She has a lot of male?

I am Indian so my English is poor.... So my girlfriend have a lot of male friends and when her friends are around her she plays a jealousy game with me, I talked about that with her and how it is not good for our relationship, but she still acts the same way. Now what to do sir should I deal with it or what can I do?

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Since you already asked her to stop and she has not, the next step would be to inform her that you do not want to be around when she is hanging out with these friends. The jealousy game is possibly because she does not feel that you care enough about her and is looking for more attention from you. Give her more positive attention and see if she stops.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

She has a guy best friend who's clinging a lot to her?

She has a guy best friend, whom I don't like because he's clinging on her and also that our relationship isn't going properly, I feel aggravated if she want's to meet him. I get angry and upset and I am very furious about it. Please help me I think he's a big flirt and I am making myself angry and furious over it. Please help me, I don't want to lose her but I am very tensed about it. Please help!

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Stop viewing his as your competition. Ask to spend more time with both of them together so that you can get to know her male friend better. Spending time with them will also help you show that you are her boyfriend and not him. Obviously, she is not interested in him or she would be dating him instead. Perhaps she does not even see his flirtations and that may just be the guy's personality with everyone.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

What should I say tonight? I don't want to sound jealous or insecure?

My wife has a male friend who is also married. I know him as we were all friend's in college. College was 20 years ago. This guy has moved back in town and reconnected with my wife. My wife and him have had coffee and recently he was at our house for dinner with his wife and kid. Everything sounds OK, but after reading some text messages on my wife's phone (I know bad but was curious) I have another perspective. He is having some major marital issues. I also know at one time he was in love with my wife but she chose me. I also can read his wife is now concerned that he is in love with my wife. My marriage is OK but it has its up and downs and now I'm concerned about the position he is putting my wife in and I don't really know what they are talking about. I like this article and was going to act jealous and insecure, what should I do? I told my wife today that tonight when the kids are sleeping we need to talk? I feel like throwing up and can't focus on my work worrying about what I should say. I have tried: Nothing yet.. I think it was caused by: My wife has allowed him to dump his problems on her and she have enough to deal with

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Remind her that in the past she chose you over him for a reason. Ask that she remove herself from his marital issues because if she really cared about him she would want his marriage to get stronger and she currently is a big fracture to that marriage whether she means to be or not. Offer the friend your listening ear instead. He may just be venting to your wife with no ill intentions however it has had consequences for him.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Her male friend is causing tension?

My girlfriend has a male friend of 23 years and is pushing his opinion about our relationship in a very negative ways and is manipulative.

Sounds like this friend has feelings for your girlfriend that go beyond friendship. It may not be romantic but instead protective and it will take some time for him to trust you and warm up to you. If your girlfriend loves you, she will not let what her friend is telling her break you both up. Arrange some time for all of you to hang out and work on being as nice as you can be to the friend.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

How to end friendship with mates girlfriend?

My mates father has told him to watch me and that he doesn't trust me. Me and my mates girlfriend (7 years 2 kids) are best friends... Now my mate won't talk to me, won't invite me to stuff and ignores me when I visit. Her and I remain friends however I feel I should end it, how?

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

If you wish to remain friends and not make her associate you with social tension, just ask her to meet away from her house. Speaking to the person who ignores you or his father can be done only by your friend, and it may or may not yield the results (or even cause a wave of more prohibitions), depending on the possessiveness, past experience, culture, or even family upbringing. Just remember that you are right in this situation: being a friend to the person of any gender is natural and accepted.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

How to show your boyfriend he can trust you around other guys?

I have a lot of male friends and I told him this before our relationship started. He has gotten very controlling over my friends. He tells me I let to many people in my life and he pointed out some of my guy friends. Also recently my ex apologized to me (he has a girlfriend) so he was not trying to get back together just trying to make better before he leaves off for boot camp. He wanted to meet up and talk about what happen and explain himself, and I wanted to talk with him but in a public place on my break at work (which is 15 min). My boyfriend threaten to dump me if I talked to him which I got angry at. I explained it wasn't because he didn't let me see my ex but because he was that quick to dump me.. I have tried: Just talking through it. I explained I had no feelings towards me ex I just wanted to hear him out before he leaves for boot camp. For me other guys friends I have tried to get him to meet with them (not trying to force a friendship) just thought he might feel more conformable if he knows who I hang out with.. I think it was caused by: Really not sure. He is still friends with some of his exes, not that they hang out ever but some times catch up and talk. I am OK with that.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

He felt insecure and lashed out with the break up threat. You can't really blame him for that and even though your reasons were innocent he still feels threatened. Take some time before hanging out with other guys instead so that your boyfriend can feel more secure around you.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

My girl befriends guy friends and I don't know how should I act or feel about it?

Hi, I've never seen a pop up box like this before. I'm just doing some research. My girlfriend (who I totally trust, who has never given me any indication that she is/will be unfaithful) tends to befriend guys (she always has, and she just continues to, albeit fewer, since we've been together). I'm not altogether comfortable with it, and just don't know if I should suck it in (if I didn't trust her, I'd leave her) or just acknowledge to her my feelings (we are open and honest about everything, that is a promise that we've made to each other). We have long term plans to be / stay together ... I love / value / respect / trust her. I'm just not sure if I should be honest and tell her how I feel on this one case. With thanks

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Girls can have trouble accepting other girls which makes it tough for friendship. The guy friends are most likely because your girlfriend finds the friendships less stressful and not as judgmental. She may also have interests that are more specific to stereotype male interests so she makes easier connections with male friends because they have similar interests. You can be honest with her and ask her why she has more male friends than female friends. There is nothing wrong with expressing to her that you feel uncomfortable about it and are looking for clarification.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

My girlfriend have a close boyfriend and he almost be with her everyday?

I love My Girl and she loves me too, we talk more than 3 times in a day but she has a Male Friend she can't do without and She always tells me about him..I just feel little jealous because she almost tells me about him everyday, please what do you think about my relationship with her? And the male guy? Is it going to have any side effects. I have tried: well I haven't tried anything because I do trust my girl a lot and she trusts me too. I think it was caused by: Well I am not sure

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

This friend sounds like he is a big portion of her daily life so consider it just as if you would if her friend was a female. There will be no side effects to her friendship unless you allow there to be side effects.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Sir why does my girlfriend say sometimes that she has no feelings for me or she didn't deserve me, what can I do? I love her a lot, and I want to marry her?

Everything is going perfect she told me that I love you so much. And after some time she instantly says that she did not have feelings for me and she didn't deserve me, Today she says when you kiss me I do not feel good

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Feelings of insecurity can cause us to push away those we love as a coping mechanism. She may also be dealing with a crisis or depression. Feelings of unworthiness are common with depression. Tell her that you love her more than anything else in life and want to plan a future with her. Offer to help her solve why she feels so distant with you. Stress to her that you do not want to lose her.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Girlfriend's best guy friend often stays in her house where I am not allowed to enter! What to do?

I am from Bangalore, India. I met my girlfriend 11 months back. She used to say sometimes she stay with her uncle and auntie and sometimes in the rented house. She never gave me her address; she was telling if her uncle came to know about our love that will be a problem for her since we are from different religions. After 8 months I found that there is no uncle's house and she is staying in her rented house only where this male friend often visit and stay. She said he knows her sister and again sister might inform her parents about our relationship that may create issues for her. She is asking me to wait for another 2 years for the marriage. I told her that I can't continue this relationship but whenever I say that or keep space with her she comes to patch up our relationship. She is telling me that I am not having modern attitude to accept a male friend. This drama is going on for 4 months. She is not leaving me nor she is not allowing me to leave. She is still continuing the friendship with this guy. But I noticed that this guy rarely stays there. She was asking me time to reduce his visit 4 months back. But still he is there. At present she is struggling with her career and education. Indeed there are lots of pressure on her about job and education. She is asking me to let her solve the issues related job and education then she will solve the issue of this male friend. What is the best way to solve this issue. I am trying to keep the space so that she will understand me. But the moment I keep a space or fight with her she comes to my house or meets me. Help me.. I have tried: 1. I have Tried to break up many times. 2. I have Switched off mobile/ not picked calls 3. I have Argued and fought with her many times 4. I have Beaten her for not meeting me on New Year but went with this best male friend for a movie. I think it was caused by: I did not inquire about her and her stay when I met her. I believed in individual freedom. I support her financially without asking much (but now I ask and support less financially). She used to be defensive later when I used to ask about uncle and auntie. I did not take the cues from her talk about this issue since I believed in privacy and individual freedom.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

If you believe in individual freedom, you are contradicting yourself by imposing physical violence towards her. There are a few things you are up against:

  • Different religions. Even in progressive countries, differences in religion can break a relationship. Especially if you plan on having children. One of you will either have to convert to the other's religion or make it clear which one you will raise future children in.
  • This male friend. Perhaps this person is actually someone her family is pushing her towards. She may be caught between heeding to their wishes and following her heart with you. Back off on pressuring her about this man. She will do what is best for her in the end. Pressuring her will make the struggle far more excruciating.
  • You feel trapped. Toxic relationships can cause someone to feel trapped. You can break up with her if you are unhappy. Whatever you decide, you need to sit down with her and make a plan. She needs to focus on her job and education but you can still plan together for the future. This means that you will have to have those difficult discussions about religion, children and the possibility that her family may disown her for being with you.
Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

See more questions like this: Too friendly nature of my girlfriend with her best male friend



Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Waiting for a girl to ask you out may keep you single forever. It is the law of the jungle that in nature the male is dominant. Instinctively women expect that a guy will ask her out if he is interested. Sitting back and waiting for a girl to ask you means that you may be waiting for a very long time.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Many people have friends of the opposite sex. This does not mean that there are other intentions present. Some people have a connection of friendship that will never develop into a romance. If you are both mature and recognize that you have common interests but are not attracted to each other, you absolutely can be friends.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Jealousy and control can make someone see things that are not there. Such as if your girlfriend had a male friend and you automatically assumed that they were hiding behind your back. Just because you can't have a girl as a friend does not mean that others can't make that work.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Why does my boyfriend get jealous easily, and always asks me who is with me when I'm sitting and calling him?

Because we are in a long distance relationship. I have tried: No I don't want to try the LDR. we are long distance its because he is starting (OJT) on the job training

He is feeling insecure with the physical/geographical separation due to his job training. To keep him from constantly monitoring you, it is advised to make him feel secure in your relationship. If you put up an emotional fight about him leaving then this could be the cause of his monitoring. He feels that he has let you down on some level and could also feel that his life is up in the air. Reassure him that you will be waiting for him to return. He also could be feeling suddenly left out of your life. Take a pic of what you are doing and send it to him before he asks. Perhaps set up a schedule of when you both have time to talk and stick to that schedule.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

I don't want my girlfriend to have contact with her best Guy friend. What shall I do?

Me and my girlfriend were once best friends before we started our love relationship. Ever since she started going to College, she got this one guy who became so important to her. He became her best Guy friend. And I seriously don't like him as he was rude to me once. Since then me and my girlfriend have constant fights, misunderstanding and our relationship is in slightly bad phase. I want my girlfriend not to talk to him but she doesn't agree. We had numerous arguments but ends in she convincing me all the time. What shall I do? This seriously ruins my peace of mind. I don't want them to be friends.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Despite your best efforts, she has chosen to keep this friend. This is a tough situation because on one hand, she has the right to have friends but on the other hand, you have the right to feel concerned. You have two choices at this point. Either you break it off with her or give up and spend as much time as you can with the both of them. If this guy has any other ideas about their friendship then your constant presence when he is around will run him off. You also could invite him to activities with your other friends. Become super nice and inviting despite the fact that this guy offended you once already. You may find that you are actually keeping them as friends because they are refusing to give up the fight or give in. As soon as you stop interfering then their friendship may fizzle out.

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

Referencing this Article

If you need to reference this article in your work, you can copy-paste the following depending on your required format:

APA (American Psychological Association)
Deal With Your Girlfriend's Male Friend. (2016). In VisiHow. Retrieved Mar 29, 2017, from

Was this helpful? Yes | No | I need help

MLA (Modern Language Association) "Deal With Your Girlfriend's Male Friend." VisiHow, Accessed 29 Mar 2017.

Chicago / Turabian "Deal With Your Girlfriend's Male Friend." Accessed Mar 29, 2017.

If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.


VisiHow welcomes all comments. If you do not want to be anonymous, register or log in. It is free.

Ask the author

Amir Rose07
Premier Author
150 Articles Started
809 Article Edits
29,100 Points
Amir Rose07 is a premier author with VisiHow. Amir Rose07 has achieved the level of "Lieutenant" with 29,100 points. Amir Rose07 has started 150 articles (including this one) and has also made 809 article edits. 2,002,000 people have read Amir Rose07's article contributions.
Amir Rose07's Message Board
Amir Rose07: Hi, my name is Amir Rose07.
Amir Rose07: Can I help you with your problem about "Deal With Your Girlfriend's Male Friend"?

Article Info

Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Hard To Hit, Krishnakumar, wanda1966

Share this Article:

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 63,683 times.

Do you have a question not answered in this article?
Click here to ask one of the writers of this article

Thank Our Volunteer Authors.

Would you like to give back to the community by fixing a spelling mistake? Yes | No