Date a Single Mom with a Toddler

Edited by Donna, Maria, Eng

Ad

The Rules of Dating a Single Mom With A Toddler

When you date a single mom, you are also, in a way, dating her toddler, because toddlers require a great deal of supervision.

If you want to date a single mom with a toddler, and you want it to go well, there are several rules of dating that you should keep in mind.

  1. 1
    Schedule your date with your single mom with a toddler far in advance of the actual meeting
    .
    Single moms are so busy that they do not have a lot of time to be that spontaneous. They also need lots of lead-time to find a sitter for the kid. It is also a good idea not to be upset if a single mom with a two-year old has to cancel your date. It is always for a good reason, including the fact that she might be too tired to have a good time because chasing after a toddler all day is exhausting.
    Advertisement
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  2. 2
    You have to let her call the shots because she is a mother and the child is the most important thing to her in her life
    .
    This means that there is no situation in which your needs will take precedence over the child's needs. So, if you have planned to go out at a certain time on a certain day, and your plans change because the toddler has a crisis, gets sick or objects to the meeting. Toddlers can also throw such severe tantrums when their mother leaves, because of separation anxiety, that you are unable to leave the house. This also means you have to be very flexible, patient and accountable because when a woman has a toddler, anything can happen at any time.You have to let the single mom with a child of this age schedule all of your dates in the future.
    Advertisement
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  3. 3
    Suggest that a date happens in the back yard or nearby playground
    .
    The single mom with a toddler will become immediately smitten with you if you suggest this because it means that you understand the special needs of her situation. Offer to take the to the nicest park in the city, which can also be quite romantic, especially if there are lots of trees and some water and if you take a picnic with you.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  4. 4
    Let her be the parent and do not interfere with her choices when it comes to raising her toddler
    .
    This issue can come up because toddlers are notoriously ill tempered, violent and destructive, especially if they do not get their way. They don't call this age "The Terrible Twos" for nothing. The child could be acting so badly that you might want to suggest some disciplinary measures. However, this is a big mistake because it can sound like you are criticizing her parenting skills. Except for situations where you see the child is in extreme danger, do not offer criticism or advice regarding her parenting skills.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  5. 5
    Make a date to child-proof the house for her
    .
    Tell her that you want to help her make the home as safe for her and the kid as possible. Go to the local hardware store and get everything you need to protect the child from being hurt. Tie up curtain cords, cover all of the outlet plates with caps and install gates at the top of dangerous stairs. Put locks on all the cupboards that contain poisons, cleaners or knives as well. If you do this, she might offer to cook you a nice supper afterward, but if not, you can order a pizza for you and the kids.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  6. 6
    Be patient with her if she doesn't seem quite up to speed on the latest current events, movies or drama happening on social media
    .
    Single moms with toddlers hardly have any time for himself or herself, not to mention reading the paper or spending time on Facebook.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  7. 7
    If you want to impress her, cook her a meal at her place or plan a barbecue in her backyard
    .
    Be aware that the toddler, and that could interrupt you if you are going to cook in her kitchen, that you should leave the place cleaner than when you found it. This proves to her that you are a helpful type and potential husband material. If you really want to impress her, make the toddler a special meal and feed it to the kid, while mom takes a break and has a luxurious bubble bath.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  8. 8
    If you are spending the night at the single mom's house, you can fully expect the toddler to climb into bed with you
    .
    This means that you have to be extra careful about how amorous you are, in case the little tyke walks in and catches the two of you getting to know each other better. You can also forget about sleeping in on a weekend, as toddlers like to wake people up.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  9. 9
    Do not get too personal with her past by asking her too many questions about her past and why she has a toddler
    .
    Some women are very sensitive about being single moms and also do not appreciate any prying questions about who the toddler's dad. Quell your curiosity and let her come to you to talk about her past when she is ready.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  10. 10
    Toddlers require a lot of vigilance, so your single mom is not going to want to get drunk with you while you are on a date
    .
    A single mom has to keep her eye on a toddler every second because they are so curious and get into absolutely everything. Yet, another issue is that it can be absolutely unbearable for her to listen to a toddler scream a have a tantrum while she has a hangover.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  11. 11
    Do not be surprised if you arrive at her house for a date and her ex is still hanging around
    .
    The father of her child might still be in the picture, and in fact, might even be the babysitter for the child while the two of you go out and have fun. This is a situation where it is best for you to be appreciative of her ex, rather than be jealous of him, as he may be the one enabling your date with her in the first place. He is also saving you the trouble of being another support system for the child.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  12. 12
    Do not be surprised if the toddler ends up coming out on a date with you sometimes
    .
    This means that you might be carrying around a diaper bag, pushing a stroller, or changing the child in public washroom. It also means that you might be having dates in fast food or family restaurants where the food is not that glamorous. You can also be prepared to be embarrassed in public, as other diners give you dirty looks when the kid has a tantrum or throws food.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  13. 13
    If you really want her to be hot for you, send her out on a date with by herself to a spa while you look after the toddler (or pay for her sitter.) Most single moms with toddlers feel really burnt out and appreciate a bit of time away to be pampered
    .
    Another option is to book some time away at a couple's spa, where both of you can get massages at the same time.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  14. 14
    Take her to a toy store and let her buy some gifts for her toddler
    .
    This shows her that you really care about both of them and that you are very accepting of the fact that the child is part of the deal when it comes to dating her.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  15. 15
    Before you go out date, bring her and the toddler a little care package
    .
    This can be toys, food, diapers and other necessities. Raising a child is expensive and this is a thoughtful gift that most women appreciate because it makes her feel loved and supported by you.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  16. 16
    Be sure to mind your manners at all times when you are with the toddler
    .
    Do not swear, be crude or set a bad example of any kind or she may not agree to date you again.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  17. 17
    Do your best to make the toddler like you and obey the commands of the toddler when it seems reasonable
    .
    Bring the kid presents and be sweet. Always keep in mind that if the child hates you, the mother is probably not going to see you anymore.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  18. 18
    Be aware that the single mother may not always look her absolute best
    .
    Many are swinging jobs along with the care of their precocious demanding tots. If she is dressed a little casually, has unkempt hair or has not had time to polish her nails, do not be too critical, and keep in mind that she will have more time for herself once the child is a bit older.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
    Advertisement

Tips and Tricks

You might find yourself eating in fast food restaurants and bring the toddler along on your dates.

  • As life with a toddler can be so unpredictable, you might want to events that do not cost a lot of money at first because a cancellation could happen at any time for any reason
  • If you have to book tickets for a date, decide to go somewhere, where you can get a refund in case the toddler cancels things for you
  • If you don't like little kids, then it is probably not a good idea to pursue a relationship with a single mom with a toddler, as she is going to be looking for some own who is both a Daddy and a lover
  • If you are used to being first in a woman's life, then you have to get over it and accept that you are now a secondary priority

If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.

Comments

VisiHow welcomes all comments. If you do not want to be anonymous, register or log in. It is free.

Article Info

Categories : Dating

Recent edits by: Maria, Donna

Share this Article:

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 41 times.

Do you have a question not answered in this article?
Click here to ask one of the writers of this article
x

Thank Our Volunteer Authors.

Would you like to give back to the community by fixing a spelling mistake? Yes | No