Calm Down Your Crazy Girlfriend
Edited by Christian jake baro, Lynn, Alma, Eng and 3 others
Picture this: It's a sunny morning, fluffy clouds and birds chirping a cheerful melody, and the darling of your dreams comes near. Suddenly, without warning - she bursts into outrage and becomes a dust devil of swinging moods; what do you do? Here is some advice that has been tried and tested - how to calm an erupting emotional volcano.
Get your perspective right
All too often, people act without really using their heads. They might become overwrought by the situation, shouting back at someone who is yelling at them, throwing things, crying hysterically, slamming doors and basically having a temper tantrum most often performed by a two-year-old. Often, this is how people react to being hurt or insulted, but it doesn't have to be that way, at least not all the time. In this case, we are talking about a loved one, someone you are connected to emotionally, not some random person yelling at you on the street. People can be blinded by emotions and passion, and lose sight of what is important. This is important to know before starting to practice the moral suggestions listed here. These principles are sometimes easier said than done, but life is so much better - even delightful, when we practice them and have a clear picture of the loved ones we are implementing them with.
It takes water to quench a fire
As quoted in the most read book of all time, "A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare." Resist the temptation to get caught up in the whirlwind of her emotional twister. If she has become the tempest; you can become the calm after the storm. These are the moments we need to take the high road, to stand our ground and lead our partner to a place of reason and peace. To make this happen, respond in a manner she will not anticipate. When she shouts, you should respond in a calm, assertive manner. To avoid adding fuel to the fire, when she asks you a question, answer it. Don't reply with a question or a sarcastic response, as this won't help the situation at all. Answering a question with a question goes something like this. "What the hell is your problem?" The response, "What the hell is YOUR problem?" Nothing sane or rational will follow when an argument includes childish back and forth accusing dialogue, sarcasm, or a tone that feels more like an interrogation.
It's not always the guy who is wrong, but "Sorry" is one of the most difficult words for a lofty, egotistical, stiff-necked male to utter
Pride has a way of forcing a girl out of a guy's life. That doesn't mean a woman can't have a healthy-sized ego as well, and that might be the reason you feel as if you are always butting heads. The ego tends to rear its often-ugly head when an individual feels compelled to defend their honor or principles. Neither person will see the true if it's clouded by excessive emotion. What you feel is what you feel, but only you can control how these emotions are manifest. On the other hand, you are the master of how you react to someone whose emotions are over the top and out of control. During an emotional tempest, assure your girlfriend that you are not against her, but you are opposed to what you believe is wrong. By apologizing meaningfully, and explaining calmly why you are wrong, you will create an opportunity to talk.
Interrupting a woman during an outburst will lead to more vehement flare-ups
That seems to be the case. By staying calm and keeping your energy low and focused, you will reduce the speed of her momentum. When she calms down, that's the time you go for the catch.
How do you perform the catch
There are different ways to calm your woman when she's out of control angry. There are a few suggestions you might want to try listed below. It's up to you to discover what works, and perhaps, what exasperates the situation.
- Story Telling. Tell the story about how everything started, and what made everything crazy. Make sure your demeanor is calm, you don't make fun of her, and you remain sensitive.
- Do-Over. After telling the story, ask her a question like, "If you could have a do-over of the last hour and a what would you do differently?" or "Would you like to change something about what happened between us?" You might receive a better reaction from her if you start with what you would change about your part in the argument. If you just ask her, she may feel as if you believe she is completely in the wrong, and become defensive.
- Assurance. Let her know that you love her and you won't leave her. Reassure her that your relationship has a strong foundation that can withstand an emotional disagreement like this.
- Hold Her. After the storm has faded, make sure you hold her in your arms. She may get crazy, but she's the crazy, passionate woman you love, and scenes like this are emotionally exhausting for both of you.
Depending on what caused the argument in the first place, these words can remind her why she loves you
If you show understanding and compassion toward her and put her before yourself, she will have more respect and unconditional love toward you.
- Remember you can transfer your mood to your partner.
- When you find you are being unpleasant, remind yourself who she is in your life.
- Practicing the above suggestions will not only improve your character but will help her grow as well.
- Sometimes, a time out for both of you gives you time to calm down and gain some perspective.
- Respect is built on a balance of understanding and love, but these should never make someone spoiled or self-absorbed. If they do, something is not right.
- There will be times that your love for her will be put to the test.
- Cause and effect. Although we cannot control what someone else does, we can control our reaction to it. An unkind word, followed by another unkind word, is how these situations begin.
- Often when a woman, in your opinion, becomes emotionally wild and out of control, it's because they feel as if they haven't been heard...so listen to her.
- These suggestions are based on principles and moral values. They should be cultivated within your own self, before trying to persuade your girlfriend to adopt them.
- This is not a one-night project that can be accomplished by doing it once. These are suggestions to change the way you believe and the way you behave, to better your relationships with not only your girlfriend; but every relationship in your life.
- These techniques only work when they sustained by the love and support of your loved ones.
Questions and Answers
How can I calm down my girlfriend who thinks that I am on my friend's side and won't listen to what I say?
My girlfriend heard my roommate say something offensive and she got upset and angry that I did not defend her. I have tried: Talk to her, calm her down. I think it was caused by: My words and her words clashing
Did you agree with what your roommate was saying about her? By not defending her in that conversation, you implicated your agreement. That may not have been your intention and now, you should call a meeting for your roommate and girlfriend to both hear what you need to say to end the drama. If your roommate is unhappy with your girlfriend then you need to try to resolve the issues or get a new roommate/girlfriend. Making peace will help turn your girlfriend's opinion of the situation around.
Recent edits by: Maria, Nuance, Eng