Become a lovers from being bestfriends
Edited by Mark Joel Cristobal, Charmed, Anonymous, Rebecca M. and 9 others
Some of the best, most long-lasting relationships start with good friendship as a base. You can freely laugh, cry, joke around with each other and share secrets that you wouldn't tell anyone else. It's only natural for this level of closeness that you share to transition into something more if you're mutually attracted to one another. But how do you initiate this transition without mega awkwardness? It is possible if you're willing to slowly introduce the idea and put forth the effort required to build another part of your relationship. It's also imperative that you're ready to risk the relationship as a whole, since once you take a leap into romantic territory, the friendship you have might never be the same again if things don't work out.
Initiating a Romantic Relationship with Your Friend
- 1Test the waters.If you don't have enough courage to come out and tell your friend exactly how you feel without some idea of how they feel back, try hinting. Ask for relationship advice, and let the other person know you want someone with their qualities. You can also try subtle physical cues like grabbing their hand while watching a scary movie or putting your arm around them while walking together, then gauge their reaction and proceed with caution. If he or she seems receptive to these things, then it's probably about time to air your true feelings.Advertisement
- 2Discuss your feelings.It's up to you to decide how you want to bring up the topic. You know your best friend better than anyone else, and whether they would respond best to a casual discussion or a serious love confession. Regardless of the method you choose, just make sure you're clear about your intentions. Be open and honest about your feelings. If your friend seems into the idea of the two of you dating, congratulations! If not, you'll have to decide if you both wish to continue to remain friends.Advertisement
- 3Take it slowly.Transitioning from friends to lovers can be quite a change, so take everything slowly. Make sure you're not pushing or pressuring the other person to move too fast or out of their comfort zone. It can take some time to adjust to the new situation, so have patience and allow your relationship to grow naturally.
How to Manage the Transition from Friends to Lovers
- 1Go on some real dates.Once you're in a real relationship, you'll need to start dating. Get dressed up and go out to dinner, the movies, or anywhere else besides hanging out at home. If you're going to be in a relationship, try to impress one another. This will make the relationship more exciting, and you'll get to know each other on a whole new level.Advertisement
- 2Learn how to connect as lovers.The emotion connection you have with a lover is different than one with a friend. Take the time to get to know each other more deeply. Share your thoughts, dreams, goals and feelings about the future. Go out of your way to make each other feel special, and be attentive of each other's needs. Don't make assumptions even though you were friends before. Continuously make an effort to learn more about each other.
- 3Keep the lines of communication open.Always be open and honest about your feelings and expectations for the relationship. While one of you might be ready to make the relationship more physical, the other might not be. You don't want any pressure, surprises or confusion when it comes to your love life, so make sure you both know what you're getting yourselves into.
- 4Don't expect huge changes.While some things will change naturally with your new romantic relationship, many things will probably remain the same. Many people idealize the fairy-tale romance, but that's not typically the norm. Don't have unrealistic expectations, and accept the person for who they are.
- 5Give each other compliments.Just because you already know and like each other, that doesn't mean you're automatically exempt from normal romantic displays of affection. Make sure you're complimenting each other and showing affection like you would with anyone else you've ever been attracted to or dated. This will help keep the romance alive and make your partner feel more desirable.
- 6Avoid over sharing personal information.While it's fine to talk about gross or embarrassing things with your friends, once you've made a step into romantic territory, some things might be off-limits. If you're both fine with sharing intimate details of your most private or embarrassing moments, that's OK. But try to keep it to a minimum to preserve a little mystery in your relationship.
- 7Let your friends know.If you share the same group of friends, it's important to let them know about the change in your relationship at some point. Failure to do so can result in an awkward or uncomfortable situation for everyone involved.
Benefits of Dating Your Best Friend
- 1You've already seen each other's bad sides.While you're typically always on your best behavior when you're dating someone new, a best friend has probably already seen you at your worst. They might already be aware of your weaknesses and insecurities, and know how to make you feel better.Advertisement
- 2You already feel comfortable together.You've already spent a great deal of time together, so you probably already know each other very well. You don't have to obsess over impressing one another all the time, and you can relax knowing that your weird quirks and flaws are already accepted.
- 3You already value the opinions and decisions of one another.Many would certainly agree that this is among the components of a healthy relationship. Since you've been friends before, then you won't hesitate to express your real thoughts and feelings.
- 4You have more stuff to talk about.Since your relationship was built on friendship, you're probably very compatible and have similar interests. This can prevent boredom from setting in, since you'll always have something to talk about together. If not, you can make new discoveries together.
- 5You trust each other.If you started off as best friends, you probably already trust each other wholeheartedly. This can take a long time to develop with new couples, but you already have it. Be grateful and don't take advantage of the situation.
- 6You have a stronger connection.You're already supportive of each other and you know you'll stand together no matter what happens in your lives. The same can't always be said of someone you've just met randomly and begun dating.Advertisement
- Even if the relationship doesn't work out, try to maintain your friendship. There's no reason to let that go to waste because you're incompatible as lovers.
Questions and Answers
What are the risks of going from best friend to boyfriend?
If it doesn't work out as a relationship, could I lose her as a friend forever?. I have tried: I have let her talk about her ex who I also know to show I am supportive.. I think it was caused by: It is my fear that I am just a rebound relationship.
If both sides think that there is a spark and relationship going on, not just being closest friends and helping each other, then there are certain risks, indeed, involved. If you distance yourself from the close relationship, it may cause a chain reaction of distancing you in every other aspect of life as well, and nothing will detach you from that weird and out-of-place feeling when you endeavor to come back into her conversations and activities as a friend. It may be worse when she gets a boyfriend who will see a rival in you. You will be more like acquaintances than friends.
Still, it is possible that reason comes first, and you will remain confidants and those who share their wisdom with each other daily. It is also possible to get along again after some time if she decides to distance herself.
- If you have problems with any of these steps, ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Donna, Melissa Rae, Shelley