Avoid an Affair with a Psychopath

Edited by Donna, Eng, Alma, vc

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How to Spot a Psychopath Before You Date Him or Her

Psychopaths often know more about you before you meet him or her because they have been studying you.

In the world of dating and romance, it is all too easy to fall in love with and become involved with a psychopath. That is because the psychopath is an expert manipulator, who sees you coming and lures you into the relationship by at first appearing to be the perfect man or woman for you. The degrees of risk to you emotionally and physically vary with each individual, but the outcome is usually quite painful regardless.

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The best way to avoid a relationship with a psychopath is not to date one in the first place. To do this, you need to know how to spot the signs that someone might be a psychopath in the first place.

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Here some ways to identify a psychopath so that you can avoid future involvement.

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    He or she might be a psychopath if this person's sudden presence in your life seems almost too good to be true
    .
    The reason it seems too good to be true is that psychopaths are great actors. They are also predators that have likely studied you somehow from afar and already have a very good idea of what you want from a partner. Even if they have just met you, psychopaths are great students of human nature and can guess, after watching you for just a few moments at what gratifies you emotionally. After you are introduced to each other you are convinced that this person is everything that you ever wanted from a partner in life, however keep in mind that this is likely all a big act. The rule of thumb when dating in general is, if it seems too good to be true...it probably is not true.
    Psychopaths come off as being the perfect partner, at first.
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  2. 2
    You are absolutely flattered to be the sole focus of this good-looking, confident person's charm
    .
    If a psychopath set his or her sights on you, they will do whatever it takes to become the perfect mate in your eyes. They will change their hair color to your favorite shade, lie about the present or the past and pamper you in ways that you never thought possible. You will also be love-bombed and showered with gifts. The constant flattery that a psychopath offers you will also boost your self-esteem and will make you want to be in his or her company as often as possible. Women will feel like they have finally found their Prince Charming and men will feel like they have finally found the woman of their dreams. If the person feels like he or she is a bit of fantasy, it is time to be skeptical about whom he or she really might be.
    The psychopath can make you feel very special.
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  3. 3
    The psychopath is often popular, charismatic and whiz at putting you and everyone else around at ease, yet something about him or her seems a bit off
    .
    Many psychopaths are very successful at masquerading as pillars of the community, even though they do not have a penny to their name. One of the ways they gain the intimacy and trust of others around them is to tell very personal stories about themselves that sound very dramatic and often depict them as some kind of hero. A bit of simple research about whether or not his or her stories check out can be quite valuable to you at this early stage of the dating game.
    A psychopath can have you enraptured by his stories every minute of the day.
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  4. 4
    Sometimes that man or woman with the highly refined social skills has actually developed them to manipulate others
    .
    As psychopaths are such skilled predators, they need everyone you know to be their ally, so that others do not believe your cries of protest when the relationship goes sour. Observe him or her carefully to see if he or she is colluding with your friends or family to get information from you or develop close bonds with them.
    A psychopath will bond with your friend to get information about you.
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  5. 5
    Psychopaths show anger when they do not get their way
    .
    A sure sign that you are dealing with one is if he or she becomes enraged when their will is thwarted by even the smallest of circumstances. This is a trait that could be dangerous to you if the psychopath decides somehow that you belong to him or her and you object. Further down the line, the psychopath could act very badly if you say no to him or her because your rejection threatens their delusional sense of reality.
    Psychopaths sulk or lose it when they don't get their way.
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  6. 6
    He or she needs a lot of action and stimulation and gets bored very easily
    .
    In the psychopath's mind, the worst thing that you can be is boring, and he or she will punish you emotionally or even psychologically somehow if you do not live up to his or her standards. A person who expresses deep disappointment that you do not want to go along with a very wild plan is likely a psychopath.
    Psychopaths need constant stimulation.
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How to Avoid Romance With a Psychopath

Once they have your number, a psychopath will call you relentlessly.

It can be tough to avoid a romance with a psychopath because they can be very exciting people to be with and you will feel like your quality of life has been raised much higher just by being in his or her presence.

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  1. 1
    Do not seek love if you are not emotionally healthy, consider yourself to be a victim or have shaky personal boundaries
    .
    If you see yourself as a victim, you are likely to draw a psychopath who sees you as a victim into your life. If you do not have strong personal boundaries, it will be a lot easier for a psychopath to read your weaknesses and take advantage of you.
    Vulnerable people attract abusers and repeat their patterns.
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  2. 2
    Avoid seeking romance online where psychopaths are known to hang out looking for victims
    .
    Many online dating sites are ridden with psychopaths looking for people to prey upon. [[Image:dat_11400.jpg|center|frame|Avoid dating websites.]
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  3. 3
    Do not look for love in leather bars, places for hook-ups and sleazy clubs
    .
    These are the places where you are most likely to be the target of a person with a psychopathic personality.
    Stay away from sleazy bars and behaviors that might attract a psychopath.
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  4. 4
    If a person tells you his or her's entire life story within just a half-an-hour it is likely that you are dealing with a psychopath
    .
    Walk away from this person and do not tell him or her any details about yourself that might lead to a romantic pursuit in the future.
    People who are too talkative are often psychopaths.
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  5. 5
    If a person approaches you and seems to know way too much about you (such as where you live and other details), you are likely dealing with a psychopath who has done a bit of research on you
    .
    This type of sexual predator is dangerous and hard to get rid of as they likely got to know so much about you by lurking on your Facebook page or even following you physically. If they talk about you like they are already a part of your life, you should get his or her name and cut the conversation off as you are likely dealing with a psychopath who is a stalker.
    Beware of people who can't let go.
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Tips and Tricks

I a psychopath stalks you, call the police.


  • Mental illness is more prevalent than ever in North America, so your likelihood of crossing paths with and being hurt by a psychopath are quite high, so it is important to know the signs that you are about to get involved with one early
  • The best way to end any type of association with a psychopath is to cut off all contact and if the psychopath does not agree to this and is persistent in bothering you then call the police and get a restraining order
  • When cutting off a psychopath, be careful to do it subtly and with as little to say as possible, as many of them do not like the word "no" and snap mentally if they feel rejected

If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please post in the comments section below.

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Article Info

Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Alma, Eng, Donna

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