Avoid Fart Humiliation
Edited by Timbuktu, Charmed, Anonymous, Jonathan and 7 others
Just seeing the word "fart" can make some people laugh. When a fart is actually heard and/or smelled in public, it may bring about even bigger laugh, or it may make others feel disgusted. It is the ugly truth, although it is a natural function that everyone does, when someone hears you fart, if they don't automatically laugh, chances are they will still raise their brows, and although they may try to hide their smile and control of their laughter, the farter will still likely suffer some embarrassment.
Farting is in fact very helpful to our bodies because it releases the unwanted gas from our systems. It can be a problem if you do not fart when needed, as it can cause you a stomach ache and other issues.
What can you do when you fart in public and everyone looks at you?
Do not turn red. Think of something to say that can ease your tension, and instead make yourself seem cute, funny, or cool.
Here are some funny and helpful tips:
If you are in the classroom and in the middle of a very serious discussion, you let a loud, but odorless fart:
- 1Say something like, "Sorry I was just playing with the chair".Advertisement
- 2Make a joke/excuse that you are practicing for an ultimate fart video that you are creating for YouTube.Advertisement
If the classroom chair or meeting room chair is immobile and doesn't scoot:
- 1Say, "Sorry I was just practicing a sound trick".
- 2Own up to the fart, and say, "It must have been something I ate".
If you fart during a date:
- 1You could turn it into a compliment by saying, "I cannot help it because you are making me nervous, I feel nervous when I really like someone".
- 2You can simply laugh and apologize.
If you farted and nobody knows who did it:
- 1Do not acknowledge it, but continue whatever you are doing and don't look guilty.
- 2Acknowledge that it happened and look around, as if you are also wondering who did it.
If someone asks, who farted?
- 1You may join the party and ask as well.
- 2You may point at someone else when he or she isn't looking.
- 3When you get caught pointing at someone else, try to point at other people too, as if to say, "maybe you, or you, or you." This way, the first person you accused will not think you are rude, or have an issue with you in the future.
If someone suspects that it is you
- 1Try to look grumpy and continue what you're doing.
- 2If you are more comfortable, try to look innocent and continue what you are doing.
- 3You can just admit it and comment how comfortable you are since you released your gas.
- 4You may say "sorry" and smile.
- 5You can walk fast and try to get as far as possible from the smell and from the embarrassment.
If you think you can hold your fart:
- 1Try to hold it for a bit, until you can get to a more convenient location.
- 2It depends where you are, but you may be able to do something else that can make a loud noise at the same time that you fart, so that others will not hear the fart.
If you are in the restroom and you fart in the stall:
- 1Try to look through the crack of the cubicle door.Then don't go out until all those who heard you are out of the restroom.
- 2Quickly flush the toilet to try and cover the fart noise.
If you need to let extremely loud bathroom farts:
- 1If you are in luck, and nobody else is in the bathroom, don't hesitate to make it really, really loud, and let it all out.Holding your fart can have undesirable results because you might get a bad case of hemorrhoids.
- 2If you are sure nobody saw you going into the stall, especially people who know you, you can still fart as loudly as you can, even with people around.Just make sure that nobody is in the bathroom when you go out of the stall.
- 3When you are pretty sure that somebody you know is in the bathroom, weigh the consequences.If you hold your fart, your insides will suffer and you will likely begin to perspire. The worst thing that can happen if you do fart, is that when you leave the stall you may get dirty looks or bad comments, or at least a few jokes. In this case, you can always respond by saying, "We all fart don't we? If you were to fart now, I wouldn't mind!"
- 4After the fart, you can spray the bathroom with air freshener, if there is some available.This is just a cosmetic solution, and does not really solve the problem of trying to be anonymous with the fart, but people may find it less offensive than just the fart smell.
Wherever it is and whoever you are with, if you feel embarrassed, do not only start laughing. You should try to think of something clever to defuse the situation, if possible, and preferably reroute everyone's attention to something else. You cannot prevent flatulence, as it is a natural part of life, and everyone needs to fart to release the unwanted gas in their bodies.
Smelly farts are rarely associated with serious ailments. Rather, they can be attributed to the food we eat or the length of time these gases are stored in our intestines.
Foods that are rich in sulphur when consumed will most likely produce smelly gases. These include foods like meat, eggs, cow's milk, cheese, cauliflower, broccoli, dried fruits, wine, horseradish, onions, garlic and other vegetables belonging to the cabbage family. These foods contain hydrogen sulfide, which causes the gases to smell bad.
In addition, when we try to suppress the release of gases out of our system, bacteria will start to produce more foul smelling sulfates.
How to avoid smelly farts?
To avoid passing smelly flatulence:
- 1Avoid eating foods that are high in sulfur.
- 2Avoid beef and pork, instead, try to consume more fish and chicken.
- 3Consume more vegetables and fruits that are low in sulfur like carrots, avocados, spinach and eggplants.
- 4You have to consume more fresh vegetables and fruits that are high in fiber that will act as natural laxative to help you to have regular bowel movement.
- 5If you feel like you are about to fart, go to the bathroom or go out to pass it out.Do not try to suppress it.Advertisement
- If you have avoided the foods that are high in sulfur and have a regular bowel movement and you still have a smelly fart, something might be wrong in your digestive tract. You have to consult your doctor if you still suffer from smelly flatulence.
Questions and Answers
Should I apologize for foul smelling flatulence?
It depends where and whom you are with. If you let out that foul smell with friends who know you well, of course there is no need for apologies. However, if you are in a more formal setting, like a meeting or a gathering then you need to apologize. It is quite embarrassing, but you can add a little humor. Anyone should be understanding about it, because farting is a natural thing and it is uncontrollable. To spare you from fart humiliation, it will be better if you avoid eating foods that are likely to cause excessive farting and foul smelling gas.
- If you have problems with any of these steps, ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.
Categories : Health & Wellness
Recent edits by: Maria, Eng, Maria Sharon Ubando