33 Sure Signs Your Husband Is Cheating
Edited by Nikki, Dougie, Grimm, suspicious mama and 20 others
This article is part of our series on Relationships, Dating, and Marriage, click to read more articles.
- 1 Cheating Husbands are Actually Pretty Easy to Catch
- 2 Questions and Answers
- 2.1 Does my husband still feel in love with his ex?
- 2.2 I just want to know if he loves somebody else, he finds reasons to get me upset so he can leave alone?
- 2.3 My husband keeps checking his phone and has phone calls away from where I can hear him?
- 2.4 Is my husband cheating if he has turned in phone off at night?
- 2.5 Not sure if he's cheating at present though he claims not?
- 2.6 Deleting Facebook messages when I came in, is he cheating?
- 2.7 I need help please, I don't know if my husband is cheating on me?
- 2.8 Why would a married man text his secretary at night time?
- 2.9 Is it free advice? How can I forget my first love?
- 2.10 Should I divorce him? Should I trust him again if we stay married?
- 2.11 My man works with his baby's x and I want to know how to tell if they are hooking up still for sure since she seems to come first always because of their daughter?
- 2.12 Why he asks me to love him? Why he always think I have another man? Why he always notices my dress to wear?
- 2.13 Turtle Saudi bank statement with a hotel and it was my husband going there every month?
- 2.14 My husband is out on a vacation with my daughter for six weeks. Should I trust him?
- 2.15 My fiance and I have changed our numbers 4 times in the last 6 months and different women keep calling my phone?
- 2.16 Hubby doesn't call me while being at his job or check on me. He is always playing a Facebook online games and not enough time with me?
- 2.17 He is trying to make up for his cheating past. We are trying to build trust. Unfortunately, when he became a big shot he threw me to the curb. I don't know why I didn't file for a divorce after one year of his nonsense?
- 2.18 Why does my partner always come home late, ignores me and then goes to sleep?
- 2.19 Lipstick stain on a paper in his car?
- 2.20 How will I confront him that I could get a good answer?
- 2.21 Can you help me? As it is clear now my suspicion was correct?
- 2.22 My Husband Keeps Accusing Me of Having a Boyfriend, I have never stepped outside of my marriage. In What Ways Can This Situation Be Handled?
- 2.23 Is my husband having an affair with a girl at work if she's messaging him "Can we still be friends?"?
- 3 Referencing this Article
- 4 Comments
Cheating Husbands are Actually Pretty Easy to Catch
You can usually spot the signs of his infidelity by paying attention to body language.
Many women worry about their husbands cheating but don't know the signs to look for. Instead, they blindly trust the bond of marriage to protect them from the infidelity of their husband. Because of this, many a husband gets away with cheating, even when his body language clearly indicates he's having an affair. This article will teach you to listen with your head, instead of your heart, by showing you 33 signs that indicate your husband is cheating.
- Make sure to read our other guide to knowing if your husband is cheating for even more ways to catch a cheat.
- 1Many times a cheating husband has already made up his mind about having an affair, or may already be involved in one. If he's avoiding being alone with you, it's a sure sign something's wrong with your relationship, and he knows that something's wrong.He avoids being alone in the room with you.Advertisement
- 2Couples in a healthy relationship often share little touches, such as a casual bump when passing in the hallway, or a gentle caress. These brief displays of intimacy may not seem like much, but if they stop, it's a sure sign that his mind is on something or someone other than you.He stops initiating casual touch with you.Advertisement
- 3Men learn at a very early age to do special things for the women they love. Whether it's flowers for mom or a box of chocolates for his wife, he knows that these things are important to a woman. If you notice that he hasn't recently shown you any special signs of affection, it could be an indication that he's giving that affection to another woman.He stops buying you flowers or doing other special things for you.
- 4It's hard to lie, especially when looking someone in the eye. When it comes to looking at someone we love in the eye and telling them a lie, it becomes almost impossible. Because of this, a cheating husband will not usually be able to look you in the eye when you're being intimate because he knows it's a lie.He doesn't look you in the eye anymore, especially when being intimate.
- 5If your husband starts caring less about you, or your marriage, and worrying a lot more about himself, it could be a sign that he's cheating on you. A faithful husband will be focused on your future together, while a cheating husband will be more worried about his future, without you.The emotional quality of your relationship has changed.
- 6When your husband stops sharing little things with you, like stories from the office, or a challenge he might have overcome, it's a bad sign. Men aren't usually the most talkative creatures, but they have an instinctive need to show off accomplishments and successes to their wives. If he stops showing you, he's either going through a major crisis, or showing another woman.He starts keeping secrets, and not telling you little things he used to share.
- 7Some jobs require travel, however, they don't require always being alone. Your husband can plan a long weekend or special occasion with you when he's traveling. The only reason for him not to at least occasionally do this is because he doesn't want to spend time with you. If he isn't spending time with you, then who is he spending it with?He's always traveling, and you're never traveling with him.
- 8Much like the man who travels constantly, the man who is always at work usually has other reasons for being away so often. Unless he's a lawyer working his way up through the firm, or a doctor earning degrees and establishing a practice, he either doesn't want to spend time with you, or he's spending it with someone else. Either way, this is a sure sign of trouble.He is working much more, and spending less time at home.
- 9Happy couples like to spend time together. They take walks, go to the movies, and even play games. Sometimes, they just sit next to one another, while one reads a book and the other watches TV. It's about being together, and if your husband doesn't want to be together anymore, his actions will show you. Time he would have spent in bed next to you will turn into time alone in another room, which is a sure indication that something's up.What used to be 'we' time is becoming 'me' time.
- 10Physical intimacy is a cornerstone of marriage. Women learn how their partner behaves, especially his 'moves' in the bedroom. If your husband starts to shut you out, or worse, randomly starts breaking out new moves in the bedroom, you'll want to check and see if he's started reading women's magazines, or is taking lessons from another woman.His sexual appetites and desires have changed.
- 11Most people don't delete their text messages, because it usually takes more effort than reading them. If he starts deleting his text messages, chances are that you have a cheating husband on your hands, or one preparing to cheat.He deletes text messages from his phone.
- 12This is another big red flag. Only a man who doesn't want you to hear what he's talking about takes or makes calls in private. Usually, the only time your husband doesn't want you to hear what he's talking about is when he's cheating, or talking about you.He makes and receives phone calls in private.
- 13Most wives won't even notice this, but if your husband gets a nice new phone, you might check to see if it has two SIM cards. If so, what does he need a second number for, and why hasn't he shared that number with you? This is a sure sign that he's keeping some pretty serious secrets - one of which is probably an another woman.He gets a second number.
- 14Almost everyone old enough to be married has transitioned through several email accounts, ultimately deleting most of them in favor of one or two. If your husband is working full time, and keeping multiple personal email accounts, the only reason for him to have the stress of managing multiple accounts is to cheat, or to keep the door open for and old flame to rekindle the fires of desire.He has more than one personal email address.
- 15This is just like the email account problem discussed above. If he's going to the trouble of keeping many different accounts, it's almost certainly because he's either already cheating, or planning to cheat in the future.He has more than one Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter account.
- 16Instant Messages are the new email, and because they're more private than regular SMS and Text messages, it's fairly easy for your husband to cheat on you without your knowledge. While you shouldn't expect to read his messages or spy on his phone any more than he should expect you to read them and give a summary of the important ones, there's nothing wrong with glancing at his screen from time to time. If he's hiding it, chances are he's hiding more than just a message.He keeps his Kik, Skype, Viber, or WhatsApp accounts private.
- 17Too many women overlook this basic element of their husbands. Every man has his own smell. It's a combination of what he eats, where he sleeps, the soaps and colognes he uses, and the woman he sleeps with. If the smell of his body changes, it's time to see if he's been having curry for lunch, or an affair with another woman for dessert.His body or clothes smell differently than they used to.
- 18However much we like or dislike our relatives, spending time with them is part of being married. So is spending time with friends. If your husband stops spending time with friends and family, especially in group settings, it's a sure sign that something's wrong. Maybe he's planning to leave, or maybe he is cheating on you and doesn't want his other woman to see you together.He doesn't participate in group gatherings of family and friends.
- 19This one is pretty obvious, but many women overlook it in the interests of being 'modern'. Just as it's OK for a married woman to have male friends, it's also OK for her husband to have female friends. The thing that's not OK is when he's taking your time and spending it with her. If you notice that he's doing this, it could be a sign that your husband is cheating. Reel him in before it's too late.He is spending a significant amount of time with someone else.
- 20This one is tough, because some men are genuinely sweet, and naturally giving. They will help out anyone. Unfortunately, some women are not so sweet, and may abuse your husband's trust, or worse, turn it into an affair. Likewise, he might also be spending more time with another woman because he prefers her company to yours. Either way, it's a recipe for infidelity, and best nipped in the bud.He spends a lot of time helping someone else, or gives gifts to them.
- 21Have his 30 minute walks in the park or short trips to the store turned into hours long excursions? There can be a number of reasons for this, but they all usually involve him preferring to spend his time elsewhere. In the case of a store, maybe there's a cute young cashier or other relatively unattached girl he's chatting with at the coffee shop, or maybe his dog walks include the understanding company of an otherwise unoccupied college girl. Whatever his reasons, none of them are good, and all point to a cheating husband.He stretches short trips out of the house into long trips.
- 22This one seems so obvious, yet many women miss it due to being so distraught over an argument they can't understand. This is because it hits them from out of nowhere, and then they sit home wondering what they did wrong to make their husbands leave. This I sad, because a husband who starts a fight over nothing and then leaves the house is either looking for an excuse to leave the house, or not expressing his true frustrations. Both are signs of deeper problems, often involving infidelity.He starts arguments out of nothing, and then leaves the house.
- 23Men can be angry over life events and circumstances. It's also quite normal for him to be frustrated with things that are beyond his control, such as economic hardships, accidents, or work difficulties. What's not normal is for your husband to be angry and frustrated over nothing. If this is the case, the 'nothing' might just be a woman you aren't aware of, that he's been cheating with, but unable to express his guilt over.He is extremely angry and frustrated, seemingly without cause.
- 24Few people like conflict, especially in the home. Your husband is no different, so if he's defensive about everything, and always prepared for conflict, you need to dig a little deeper. A man behaving like this is often doing so because he knows something's wrong. He knows something's wrong, because he's having an affair.He is defensive about everything, almost as if he is anticipating conflict.
- 25Momma's don't betray their babies, and many men tend to live by the bro code, where they stick together no matter what. If you're seeing signs that he might be telling his mother or family about an impending separation, or you've noticed that his friends aren't so friendly towards you anymore, it's a problem. In fact, this problem almost always involves another woman, and is a serious sign of trouble.You stop seeing or hearing from his family as much as you used to.
- 26Men don't often change their styles. If he likes jeans and a polo shirt, that's likely going to be his style forever. So, if you notice that he's traded in his jeans for a pair of dockers, or his usually conservative polo shirt for a printed t-shirt with a rock band logo on it, you might have a cheating husband on your hands. Men only change the way they dress when it serves a purpose, which in this case is pleasing another woman.He begins dressing differently.
- 27Grooming and hygiene patterns change. If your man used to be OK with slightly messed up hair, or half of a shave, and he's now carefully grooming himself, it's obviously not to impress you. In fact, one of the most obvious signs your husband is cheating on you is when he starts improving his personal hygiene and grooming habits. Don't ignore this, as it's an indication of a husband looking to please or impress another woman.He starts caring more about how he looks.
- 28This one is harder to spot, but it bears mention because it's usually a sign of problems that lead to an affair, rather than the actual affair. Sometimes, when your husband isn't happy, he'll start making little changes, and the shift from outgoing to conservative, or conservative to outgoing, is one of them. If you see this, talk to him, before he gets tangled up in an affair that could destroy your marriage.His overall appearance has changed.
- 29Not that many wives notice this one, because many times their husbands can have some strange tastes in music. However, if your classic rock loving husband starts listening to Tecno, there's a reason. Sometimes it is just be because he likes it, but more often, it's because the woman he's cheating on you with likes that style of music. He either wants to make her happy, or is pleasantly reminded of her while jamming out to the latest step.His tastes in music change.
- 30This one might seem a little funny at first, until you learn about the young art student your husband has taken an interest in, or the history major who has enchanted him with welcoming smiles and tales of ancient Rome. If he starts finding interest in things he previously had no interest in, it's a sure sign that another woman has his interest. Take note, and steer him away from infidelity.He starts visiting art exhibits or enjoying trips to museums.
- 31Everyone knows the jokes about office parties, and let's be honest, they're usually pretty true. So, when your husband suddenly starts attending them, it probably has something to do with the new girl in the office. If you aren't invited, it almost certainly has something to do with her. This is a sure sign of trouble in your relationship.He starts attending office parties and social events he used to avoid.
- 32If your normally passionless man suddenly becomes a charming powerhouse of passion, enjoy it, but pay very close attention to him. Likewise, if your man of endless passion suddenly turns cold, take that as a warning sign too. He's likely either giddy with joy in another woman's arms, or he's gone cold because she's taking all that heat and keeping it for herself.The level of attention he gives you drastically changes.
- 33This isn't usually something that younger wives need to worry about. It's more often reserved for those who have been married a few years. In these instances, a cheating husband might discuss a desire to visit France, for example. This naturally leads to French lessons, which his wife mistakes as being an indication of a planned trip to another country. She never sees the affair his 'language' lessons are hiding. While new languages are great, be careful your husband isn't more than just new words in his mouth.He suddenly develops an interest in a new language.Advertisement
Questions and Answers
Does my husband still feel in love with his ex?
My husband had an ex 8 months ago but the girl still sends him messages and calls him. So is there a possibility that they still meet and are dating??
There are several factors at play here that can affect this answer. For one thing, he might still have feelings for her, such as feeling sorry for her but not acting on them. The second possibility is that they do meet, but it is not because he has romantic intentions towards her. The fourth possibility is that they are seeing each other but he does not have the heart to tell you.
As honesty is the best policy in a love relationship your best approach here is to just simply ask him if he is committed to a future with you and if so, will she be part of it? If you are suspicious now, it is the time to draw boundaries and state clearly what it is about his ex contacting him that bothers you. If he does not want to allay your fears or refuses to have the conversation or accuses you of not trusting him then it might be time to leave the relationship. On the other hand, if he tells you it is nothing you might prefer to take him at his word rather than create an atmosphere of mistrust.
See more questions like this: How do I know my husband is telling the truth
I just want to know if he loves somebody else, he finds reasons to get me upset so he can leave alone?
He goes to work when is raining, leaves early and comes home late, goes in the garage and tells me I was being a jerk when in fact I wasn't. Doesn't take me places anymore
He has at the very least treated you disrespectfully. Maybe he just needs his own space right now but I would start to pay attention to what he was doing more such as if he is working late bring him dinner.
My husband keeps checking his phone and has phone calls away from where I can hear him?
Whenever we are together he is always on his phone, like constantly checking for texts messages and whenever he makes a call he is always in the bathroom or goes out of the house. I have tried: Spending more time with him and our baby. I think it was caused by: He said it is because of my personal issues and that I push him away when he tries to get close to me before we even had our baby
Not a good sign. He is definitely hiding something from you and even has told you that you are pushing him away even if you are not. You may want to check his phone while he is sleeping and check call logs and messages. Keep in mind he could be deleting them so make not of a time that he is on a phone call and check to see if that call is in his phone logs. If he deletes it then there is definitely something he is hiding.
See more questions like this: Found picture of coworker and phone calls on husband's phone?
Is my husband cheating if he has turned in phone off at night?
We don't live in the same house
Not necessarily. I turn my phone off at night while I am sleeping as well as many other people to avoid disruptions from the phone while you are trying to sleep.
See more questions like this: I have a feeling my husband is cheating. Do I go with my feelings
Not sure if he's cheating at present though he claims not?
I have found 2 substances and 2 condoms in his bag last year. He stayed out at his office for Christmas party till 2 or so PM. Wonder if you have any input? Please help if you can
Maybe those condoms are from a long time ago and he never got rid of them, however, there should be no reason for him to have condoms unless they were with you.
Deleting Facebook messages when I came in, is he cheating?
I was in the shower and he was sitting in his recliner when I came into the living room he jumped and turned his phone off real quick and then tried to lie about the message.
Oh, Facebook! The phishing dream. He lied about the message so he has something to hide. Check his friend's list and see if anyone new or suspect is on his list. Guys are notoriously targeted by phishing scams on Facebook, A pretty "young girl" will contact men and chat them up and before you know it they want money etc. Do a little snooping on his Facebook account and see if you can determine who he was messaging with.
I need help please, I don't know if my husband is cheating on me?
Since I got married my husband went with one of my cousins and did not return back home till yesterday evening I don't know what I should think right now? please help me?
He is with your cousin so that should take away some doubt. When he does come back inform him that it was very rude to not communicate with you that he was not coming home.
Why would a married man text his secretary at night time?
Why would a married man text his single secretary from work at night time if he isn't having an affair
Not necessarily. Especially if she is his right-hand person at work like many secretaries are. He may be texting her about something she needs to do first thing in the morning or asking if something has been completed that he requested.
Is it free advice? How can I forget my first love?
Hi, I can't forget my first love. I have tried: Tried everything that I can. Removed them from Facebook, Linkedin, and all other places. But I couldn't. I think it was caused by: It is a long story, and we are from different religions
We all remember our first love with fondness. Over time and after a new relationship you will begin to forget him. Sadly it did not work out for you both but there is someone out there for you.
Should I divorce him? Should I trust him again if we stay married?
My husband and I have been married for 20 years. Last year I found out about his 8 years affair with a woman who is 17 younger than him. I also got hold of his cellphone records. During the 8 years, he sent texts and called her every day. Last Valentines Day I asked him to make up to me by buying me a card. He ignored me almost completely. Again on our wedding anniversary, I asked him to do something special for us, but again he just kind of not interested in my request. This got me very upset and we ended fighting on our anniversary. I have tried: I suggested we go to see a marriage counselor but he refused to say that we just move forward. He said he admitted his past wrongdoing. He never apologizes or begs for my forgiveness. I think it was caused by: I don't know. I think maybe I trusted him too much from the day that we married.
He is not moving forward although he has stated that you move forward. It may be time to end the relationship because it sounds like he already left it emotionally and is not even asking for forgiveness when he had an 8 year affair.
See more questions like this: Will my husband ever tell me the truth about his cheating? Will I ever be able to trust him again if we stay married?
My man works with his baby's x and I want to know how to tell if they are hooking up still for sure since she seems to come first always because of their daughter?
I feel like she probably did everything better than I do or she still is and there is no way of really knowing for sure do to their kid and them working together
Involve yourself in their situation more. They may just be working and parenting together but you need to make sure that is the only thing going on and the best way is to make your presence more known around them when they are together.
Why he asks me to love him? Why he always think I have another man? Why he always notices my dress to wear?
My husband and I have fought 4 days ago, he did not come home and he text us how are we with my kid, then I ask him to come home. He always answers he will not come home unless I love him? He is a jealous husband as years fly by, he always thinks I have another man. He is dirty minded, sometimes I am so angry that he would think of me that way. He uses drugs and I consulted a doctor, he is bipolar disorder .
He has a bipolar disorder that is causing issues in your relationship. It does not help the situation that he is treating his disorder with illicit drugs. Suggest marriage counseling as well as ask him to go into the treatment program for his addiction and mental illness. Until he gets the help you will be able to do nothing to change his mind about you.
Turtle Saudi bank statement with a hotel and it was my husband going there every month?
He runs hotels but doesn't stay on his own, he started going to a different one something tells me in my gut that something wasn't right, so I checked the bank statement and there it was every month he would go, definitely he denied it. I know it's true, we don't talk or communicate and I can't trust him
He is getting a hotel room in a separate place from the ones he manages so there is something definitely going on. Instead of giving you a reason he has flat out denied the charges to the hotel. Your best option would be to look for a pattern of dates that he stayed at these hotels and try contacting him there to see if it falls within his other patterns of stay. Another option is to hire a private investigator or install a spy app on his phone but since he knows that you may be monitoring him a spy app might not prove anything so hire an actual private investigator.
My husband is out on a vacation with my daughter for six weeks. Should I trust him?
Should I trust my husband. He is on vacation to see his family he hasn't seen in 9 years. He has a lot of friends and always going out. I don't know what he is doing there. Should I stop thinking negative ?. I have tried: Nothing but nag him. To be honest and faithful to me. But instead, he gets angry and tells me there is no trust in our marriage
If he is going to see his family, especially after such a long absence of not seeing them, you should trust that he will remain faithful. He is bringing your daughter with him so there is even less of a chance that he would do something that could get back to you. If you are so suspicious maybe you should surprise him while he is there or arrange a week or two to visit also with him.
He has told you that there is no trust in the marriage. If you can't seem to try to trust him then this marriage is doomed to fail. Give him some space while he is on this trip and do not interrogate him over the phone. You could install a spy app on his phone before he leaves if you are ultimately suspicious but since he is going to see family you should not worry about him cheating.
My fiance and I have changed our numbers 4 times in the last 6 months and different women keep calling my phone?
When other women call my phone, causing me to ask him how did they get my phone number after changing it 4 times? he says he doesn't know. I have tried: Calling the phone company, changing numbers. I think it was caused by: Not sure
Do they ask for your boyfriend directly? Otherwise, it is because you keep getting recycled phone numbers and women are calling someone else and getting you instead. Have you considered that it may be telemarketers or bill collectors? I highly doubt your boyfriend would be passing out your phone number after you have changed your number so many times. This has nothing to do with him and everything to do with your phone carrier provider using recycled numbers or you are on some call list for promotions/bill collections.
Hubby doesn't call me while being at his job or check on me. He is always playing a Facebook online games and not enough time with me?
What should I do? I do have the gut feeling that he has already cheated on me or getting ready to cheat. I have tried: Nothing because he is always on the defensive side. He can't talk to me like adults should. I think it was caused by: I guess not enough attention
Just because you feel that you are not getting enough attention from him does not mean that he is cheating. It sounds more like he is busy and possibly stressed at work and home and his Facebook games are his escape from reality.
If you feel that you are not getting enough attention from him, ask him what has happened to the guy you fell in love with and married. He may just be in a rut and too comfortable to try to appease you anymore. He also could be completely oblivious to the fact that you require more attention.
Schedule some date nights for the next few months and see if he shows an interest in at least spending some time with you. Let him know that these evenings out will help you feel more appreciated by him. This does not mean that you have to spend money. Even a date night walking around the neighborhood or watching the sunset while sitting in the car listening to music can be a good way to get more connection in a relationship.
He is trying to make up for his cheating past. We are trying to build trust. Unfortunately, when he became a big shot he threw me to the curb. I don't know why I didn't file for a divorce after one year of his nonsense?
Should I continue to give therapy a shot. All I want is for him to be totally honest so that we can move on. I have incurable cancer.
Okay, first you have cancer and should be focusing on that and not the relationship. At least he is trying now to mend fences but unless he changes his ways, the marriage is over. If you want him to be totally honest then the next therapy session, demand the truth. Do not back down until he gives it to you but honestly, he may not have a reason that you are satisfied with for why he cheated.
He is not the first man to do what he did to you. Some people change when they become successful. It is almost like their thirst for accomplishment becomes all consuming and they lose sight of what really is important in their life.
Why does my partner always come home late, ignores me and then goes to sleep?
My partner goes to work at 5 in morning finishes at 2 PM but he comes home at 6.30 at night and then stays In the garage for 2 hours then goes shower then eats and sleeps and he doesn't spend time with Any of us as in the kids and he doesn't communicate. I have tried: Communicating telling him to help me or why are you home late every day. I think it was caused by: Him cheating
You need to install a spy app like mSpy or FlexiSpy to find out just what he is doing with those 4 extra hours after work. Running errands is one thing but being gone every day for that amount of time suggests that something is going on. The fact that he spends the rest of the time in the garage other than showering, eating or sleeping points to possible depression or drug use/alcohol abuse that he may be trying to hide. Get a spy app on his phone immediately.
We all need personal time to ourselves but his personal time is distancing the family from him. For the sake of your children, find out what is really going on.
Lipstick stain on a paper in his car?
I found a paper with lipstick mark in my husband car what could it mean?. I have tried: Tried to talk to him but he is not responsive, he think that I am unnecessarily worried about useless stuff. I think it was caused by: I talk really less and when it comes to our relationship he just doesn't want to discuss anything because he thinks he is faithful and that's it. And on top of that, he is a very busy person with his work.
If you do not have any other proof of possible cheating, you should not over think what you found. The paper could have come from his job without even him realizing that there was lipstick on it. It could also be from someone that he had in his car for work.
Look for other signs. You have stated that your relationship is currently distant especially in terms of communication. It is time for you both to hit reset on this marriage. This may mean that you go to counseling for your distrust and withdrawal so that the marriage can survive. He has told you that he is faithful and for right now you need to trust that. Let go of everything holding you back and remind yourselves of why you fell in love with each other in the first place.
How will I confront him that I could get a good answer?
It is so frustrating Nikki, I caught him on my birthday. He said he has to go to work, turned out went out swimming and I saw a pic of him cuddling with a girl... It is like a team building but I don't think cuddling is included. He is so cold has his phone password. Always bringing his phone chatting, messenger I don't know..we have 4 little kids. It's agonizingly aching. I don't know what to say to him. I have tried: Yes he is denying. He said there is not. And we are not talking at all. I think it was caused by: Lack of time and effort. And he is the one who's lacking, not me
Insist that you meet with a third party. This could be a pastor or marriage counselor but for the sake of the 4 little kids you have created together, this is the best course of action for a resolution. There may be nothing going on at all, but the communication lines need to be reopened for any hope of a successful marriage. If he refuses to go to any counseling with you, then present him with child support figures should this end up in divorce? Ask him how he would feel becoming an every other weekend and every Wednesday father instead of being there full time in the home with his children. Sometimes being confronted with reality brings everything to the surface.
Can you help me? As it is clear now my suspicion was correct?
A lot of the signs are what he is showing, he brings up his colleague all the time, and antagonizes me with her, and describes her as a queen against me. I have asked him to be honest and he keeps saying she has a boyfriend, what should I do?
Try to ignore him when he is talking about her. Walk out of the room when he brings her up or hangs up the phone. Either way let it be made very clear that if he really cared about your relationship, he will stop talking about his colleague. Also, having a boyfriend makes it far more dangerous as that means that she has something to lose unless she stays silent. Tell him that is not a valid excuse. There probably is not anything going on between the two. Instead, she may be his "work wife" which means that he is close to her but only in a friendly professional manner. People will look for someone at work that they can feel emotionally safe within a stressful situation. Still, explain to him that if he wants to be in a strong relationship with you, he needs to stop bringing up this colleague because you feel like there are three people in the relationship.
My Husband Keeps Accusing Me of Having a Boyfriend, I have never stepped outside of my marriage. In What Ways Can This Situation Be Handled?
My husband has issues, he is insecure and has trust issues. I have never stepped outside of my marriage of 7 1/2 years but he is always accusing me of having a boyfriend. He expects me to stay on the phone with him from the time I leave the house until I get to work. He blows up my phone during the day when he isn't working. He doesn't want me doing my church duties and expects me to spend every waking moment with him. I have expressed things to him that he does, that bothers me and it seems as if things are just getting worse. I told him I need some space and he gets mad and says if I need space I need to get out of the marriage. I am going to a conference and was supposed to be sharing a room with another female and he tells me at the last minute he is going to the conference with me to "volunteer", so I had to cancel my hotel arrangements and get new ones at the last minute. He can't afford to take two days off of work but is going to anyways and is almost two months behind on his truck payment. He isn't helping me with household bills and isn't able to at the moment. I am doing everything in my power to make the relationship work but it has gotten to the point where I do not care anymore, he has me stressed out, and he is slowly but surely pushing me away. Is there any other way to handle this situation? If he isn't going to allow any time for myself, I will eventually end up leaving. He appears to be jealous and trying to hold me back from professional and personal goals I have set for myself. He has it in his mind that I am running after someone, but I am not running after anyone, nor am I cheating, I am the head of household and work full time on top of all the projects I have going on. He makes my life miserable on the weekends when I am trying to do my church duties to prepare for the Sunday service and won't help me with the kids so I have to get a babysitter. All he does is complain, and then tells me he is needy and requires a lot of attention. He even gets jealous when I buy the kids something and not him. I told him if he would just give me the little bit of space I ask for, he would see a different person, but as long as he is smothering me, I am not going to want to be around him. I can't even go to the hair salon without him blowing up my phone and sending me text messages. Then when I don't respond right away, he gets mad. Is there any other way to handle this situation? I honestly do not know how much more I can take.
He definitely feels afraid to lose you. From personal experience as a pastor's kid, there can be resentment that one is devoting too much time to the church. His actions also speak of possible guilt. Has he stepped out of bounds in the marriage? This could also be depression. At this point, you should seek some sort of marital counseling either with the pastor or a marriage therapist. This needs to be resolved before it begins to damage the entire family, including your children.
Is my husband having an affair with a girl at work if she's messaging him "Can we still be friends?"?
My husband received a Facebook message from a girl at his work asking him"Can we still be friends?" Is he cheating on me or they already have and he's just trying to end it? Well, my husband also keeps telling me to not come by his work announce or unannounced he has given him all the excuses in the book so that I don't go to his work. Now that I've found those message it makes me question him even more. I have tried: I ask him why I can't show up at his work he said they don't like family coming by. And I haven't confronted him yet regarding the messages. I think it was caused by: I'm not sure really...we've been together for 14 years and the girl he's talking to is younger but I'm only 28 so it doesn't make me that old so I'm confused.
Do they work together? Perhaps you need to find an excuse to drop by his job, whether to meet for lunch or bring something he "forgot" at home. This girl could also be a phishing scam where the person was trying to cultivate a "relationship" in return for money. Often these social media profiles are run by a series of scammers that try to work their way into a person's emotions. Age has nothing to do with affairs. You could be the perfect wife but if he wants to stray, he will. The good news is he ended whatever was happening. The bad news is, you are right to have your radar up that something is happening.
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Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Keri russell, Alma, qetsiyah